Your strength is in your weakness

Every so often I fall back on the lyrics of a song, because so often they reflect what I’m feeling. Also, because sometimes what I’m feeling is just too painful and deeply personal to write about or I’m simply not ready.

“It finds you in a cold room
A silhouette against the wall
Lit up by the white moon
We’ll outrun the awaking dawn

You can see the faces
But you don’t know their thoughts
You can feel the traces
From the chalk lines on my heart

There’s something in the shadows
Cuts you like an arrow
Shifting through the dark
Your strength is in your weakness
There’s fire in your blood
Hanging from that hope
But everybody knows
There’s something in the shadows”
Amy Stroup -In The Shadows

Your strength is in your weakness

wearing:
hair:  Lamb. Stellar  (*new* @ FaMESHed)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [theSkinnery] Paola

.miss chelsea. Niki Headphones Silver
-:zk:- Joy (*new* @ Kinky)

pose: FOXCITY. Soulfood Bento Pose Set

***If you are reading this on any site that suggests this post was originally published anywhere but SadyStyle by anyone other than Sadystika Sabretooth, you are reading a stolen post.

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Suicide Test

My real life is a freaking mess and certainly not what I had hoped it would be by my age. However, if I don’t give thanks for the little things, I simply wouldn’t be able to pull myself from the edge of suicide. It sounds severe and dramatic, but I assure you that its something I think about regularly. AND from the age of 12 until I was 22, I was attempted it regularly. Clearly, I failed at that like so many things in my life. It was my last attempt that changed everything. I was lying in the ICU, barely conscious when I had an epiphany for what I now call my Suicide Test. I have yet to pass this test, therefore, I have not been able to attempt suicide again since.
It’s quite simple actually. It’s a 30 day test, so patience is key, but if you’re planning to die, what’s 30 more days, yeah? So, look at the clock. For me, its 9:19pm on Sept 19. Now, if I do not find a single moment of joy between now and 9:19pm on Oct 19th, I can proced with my suicide attempt. However, you have to understand the true nature of joy and what all that entails. That means you must want to die for every second of ever minute of every hour of every day for 30 days straight. That means you cannot enjoy a single moment of your life for even a second or the clock starts over. So, if a meme makes you laugh or even smile or silently chuckle. Clock restarts. You tasted something wonderful and thought to yourself how good that was? Clock restarts. You stepped in the shower and exhaled with relief as that hot water poured over you. Clock restarts.
You see, if you had killed yourself upon that first notion, you would have missed that simple moment of joy. If you would have missed something as simple as a cluster of butterflies dancing over your head, then you surely would have missed the smile you bring to other people’s faces. And let’s face it, no matter how awful you think your life is…you make someone smile and someone loves you.

rumors

wearing:
hair:  MINA – Karen (*new* for Go by FaMESHed)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [theSkinnery] Amber (*new* @ C88)

BONDI . The Gentleman Sunglasses . (*new* @ ManCave)
:zk:– Ashlee Suit (*new* @ ULTRA)
BUENO-Weekend Heels (*new* @ Kustom9)

pose:  GingerFish Pose – Moth set (*new* @ Pose Fair)

{what next} Waterfront Dock & Pier Set
Skye Windswept Tree Type

…just some words i wrote

He called in sick, when I needed him most
He only saw a piece of the aftermath
And he called in sick
What could I do?
He wasn’t to mine to be true.
Be mad? Nah.
Why?
Is that what you would do?

zk & noir kinky event

wearing:
hair:  Sintiklia – Hair Xia
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [Glam Affair] Dee

:::NOIR::: Marie Bracelets (*new* @ Kinky)
Ascendant – Nude Bento Nails (*new* @ Kinky)
-:zk:- Tania Top (*new* @ Kinky)
-:zk:- Tania Shorts (*new* @ Kinky)

pose: FOXCITY. What Gives Bento Pose Set
Paparazzi – Pose Hallway – AMBER

On the Hunt

I could not have chosen a better song or written better words to go with this photo. I also doubt that many of my readers have heard it. So, please enjoy. ♥

Neo Noir & Krigare’ – On the Hunt

As the stars at night are falling
Like the torches in the dark
Marching with conviction
On the move and on the mark
Hear the howls in the distance
Chased the wolves they tried to run
Ooooh on the hunt

Finger on the trigger
Taste the fear that’s in the air
Silence breeds the tension
Haunted unaware
Chasing down the demons
Hear the beating of a drum
Ooooh on the hunt
Ooooh on the hunt

The past is left in ruins
Feel the pain and see the scars
The path of burning bridges
Feel the stone of a broken heart
Insatiable desire and it’s only just begun
Ooooh on the hunt
Ooooh on the hunt

on the hunt

wearing:
hair:  Tableau Vivant // Abbie hair (*new* @ C88)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
eyes: LOTUS. Balance Eyes 17 (Catwa) RARE (*new* @ Vanity Event)
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [PUMEC] – Alexa – / May \ – SKIN (*new* @ Vanity Event)

-:zk:- Squaw Gacha (*new* @ Vanity Event)
–:zk:- #1 Squaw Belt Lara
–:zk:- #1 Squaw Hair Jewel
–:zk:- #1 Squaw Lance HAND L
–:zk:- #1 Squaw Necklace LARA
–:zk:- #6 Squaw Top Lara Black
–:zk:- #14 Squaw Skirt Lara Black
–:zk:- #22 Squaw Sleeve Lara Left Black
–:zk:- #22 Squaw Sleeve Lara Right Black
–:zk:- #30 Squaw Legs Lara Black
–:zk:- #38 Squaw Shoes Lara Black

E.V.E {B-Team} Tears Suit [MAI] (*new* @ We ❤ Role-Play)

::GB::Black Panther B  (*new* @ Arcade)

pose: GingerFish Poses – One Shot

Namaste

I always kind of wondered what Namaste meant. I know it has become popular among those that do yoga, but upon a teensy bit of research…I found out it means quite a bit more. I could regurgitate what I read in my own words, but instead, I’m going to link you the article. I found it really interesting and if you’re a curious kitty like me, I’m thinking you will too. So, here’s The Meaning of Namaste for those that want to know more.

Namaste

wearing:
hair:   Exile – Flowers in the Sun
ears: .:[PUMEC] :. – / Mesh Ears\ – 4 -POINT INDUSTRIAL
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: Glam Affair – Willow – Jamaica

-:zk:- Aurora Swimsuit (*new* @ Vanity Event)
[BREATHE]-Pineapple Heels (*new* @ C88)

pose: –Extra– Namaste (*new* @ Pose Fair)

scene:
Fancy Decor: Davis Fence Kit
uK – Tropical Lounger Flamingo
:CP: Herman Planter White
*Paper Flowers* ~Afternoon Tea Belle: Macaroon Box
e.marie // Flask – Tropical
Granola. June’s Tropical Sunset Beverage.

Have Some Fun

I’m certainly not going to get into the details, cuz meh. However, first thing this morning, before I’ve even finished my coffee I get a call on Skype about this guy and that guy. He said and he said and he said. UGH! As I’m writing this, I’m still on my first cup of coffee and have the sound of reason in my ear. I simply can’t take another minute of all the crap that I’ve somehow found myself pulled into, simply by listening to a friend. So, it seems there are a lot of shady people on the grid (big surprise, I know) and some of them make multiple alts just to mess with people’s heads. To which I say, steer clear. If you suspect someone is playing you on an alt, my advice is to walk away. You already don’t trust that person, so why bother? I have no desire to dig for the truth. I have no desire to waste my precious time on any of it. The minute I stop trusting people even on the smallest level, is the minute my walls go up and every conversation will turn dry and I will slowly but surely but a great deal of distance between us. Believe it or not, I do try not to be terribly rude, but there’s always the off chance that I’m wrong…it has happened a few times…lol.
It’s Friday, ffs, we should be getting ready for the weekend and to have some fun. Which is exactly what I plan to do. As much as possible anyway, I’ve got a lot on my plate and there’s no room for stupid shit. Bring on the silliness, bring on the dancing, bring on the music, bring on the sexy avatars…and on that note, since I took this picture after FMD’s theme party last Saturday, I’ll mention that I’m hosting there tonight with DJ Davish from 6-8pm slt. Yes, I did just shamelessly plug my shift. LOL. Remember its open to the public on weekends, that includes today…so c’mon over and check it out. In the meantime, happy shopping, cuz there’s a lot of amazing events going on right now and no shortage of amazing finds!

pool party

wearing:
hair: :::Phoenix::: Brooke (*new* @ FaMESHed)
hairbase: Just Magnetized – Special Hairbase set 05 for CATWA
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
The Face ~ Catwa – Cookie ~ Eyeshadow palette (LIMITED PACK) (*new* @ Vanity)
The Face ~ Catwa – Cookie ~ Lipstick palette (LIMITED PACK (*new* @ Vanity)
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: Glam Affair – Viktoria Applier
tattoo: DAPPA – Devour Tattoo. (*new* @ Vanity)

.fashionism. – Maya Fringe Earrings (*new* @ Vanity)
rings: (Yummy) Leave A Mark Set

-:zk:- Sunny Bikini FATPACK (*new* @ Vanity)

pose: <K&S> Heavenly pleasure. Bento poses (*new* @ Vanity)
location: FMD Pool Party Area from Saturday Night Themed Party

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