Look inside my eyes
I know you’re watching
Look at my demise
You know you got me
Feed me all your lies
And I just soak it up, soak it up, soak it up, baby
Thought that you were mine
But you ain’t down
~ Johnny Rain – LLWH
Sady is wearing:
hair: DOUX – Ubert hairstyle
head: GENUS Project – Genus Head – Classic Face
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) (1.2)
skin: [theSkinnery] Isla (Genus) @ C88
upper tattoo: Apocalyptic – Awakening the eye black @ Belle
lower tattoo: Apocalyptic – Butterfly creeper
The last few days have been a complete whirlwind of nightmares for myself and a couple of my closest friends. We’ve all had absolutely maddening situations happening to us in RL. We’ve all be worried sick about each other while dealing with our individual crisises. Sometimes it just all feels like too much. So, I’m keeping this short and sweet, wishing I could slip into that beautiful Nutmeg tub and soak away my problems.
Nutmeg. Tidy Pastels Complete Set @ Shiny Shabby Nutmeg. Tidy Pastels Liquid Soap Nutmeg. Tidy Pastels Chair w/Pillow White Adult Nutmeg. Tidy Pastels Drying Rack / 1 Nutmeg. Tidy Pastels Mirror Blue / 1 Nutmeg. Tidy Pastels Clock White Nutmeg. Tidy Pastels Liquid Soap Olive Nutmeg. Tidy Pastels Washbasin w/Towel Texture Option Nutmeg. Tidy Pastels Bar of Soap / 2 Nutmeg. Tidy Pastels Woven Bag Complete Set Bonus Item
Nutmeg. Attic Hideout Painting_Bonus Item Nutmeg. Attic Hideout Plated Pink Branch Nutmeg. Dacha Hanging Candle Bucket Nutmeg. Dacha Old Wooden Chest Nutmeg. Dacha Metal Bathtub wo/Shower Nutmeg. Bucolic Console Table Nutmeg. Old Oriental Rug4_Bonus Item Nutmeg. Countryside Dream Chandelier White / Long Nutmeg. Flower Cherub Statue Bonus Item
Wish I could’ve found the words to say Wish I could’ve given what you gave ‘Cause we could’ve loved, we could’ve been something But not if I’m brokenAnd I know that you love me but I don’t think I’m ready Found me in a bottle Oh, I thought I needed someone I could run to Oh, run to, oh But I need healing I need healing ~ Arlissa – Healing
“A library is never — for lovers of the written word — simply a place for conserving or storing books but rather a sort of living creature with a personality and even moods which we should understand and learn to live with.” – Francisco Márquez Villanueva
As long as I can remember, I’ve loved books. Yes, I love to read, but its more than that. I love possessing books. I love the smell of them and the feel of them in my hands, the pages between my fingers. I love the energy and smells of bookstores and libraries alike and each has their own individual scent. Books are like magical portals to another world and when a story really pulls you in…that collection of paper and words truly transports me so far away that it is one of the greatest escapes in the world.
I love this quote, because its just so damn true. Whether a small collection of books or an entire room or building, the titles and authors on display truly come together to create a personality of its own, not to mention a reflection of the keeper of said books.
hair: Lamb. Lilac (*new* @ Uber)
head: CATWA HEAD Denice
Veechi – Culprit Shadow (*new* @ Uber)
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: #20 [PUMEC] – MIA – JUNE (*new* @ Epiphany)
tattoo: IDTTY Body Shop – Feline Fatale
So, almost everyone knows that Netflix & Chill has lost it’s original meaning and turned into code for something comparable to a booty call. I personally still think of it is as me binge watching TV from the comfort of my bed with some good snacks! However, sometimes I’m irritated or anxious and sitting still watching television isn’t going to do the trick. Sure, I could take a xanax and calm down, but then I’d pass the fuck out. That’s too chill, especially when I’ve got so much on my plate. This past year I was introduced to Guild Wars 2 and I’ve got to say it has become the perfect escape for me. There are times that I am simply not feeling social, but going into another virtual world to kill monsters? Oh yes, please!!! Plus, its no big secret that I’m a lover of violence!
The minute I saw this fantastic form fitting bodysuit from Bueno, my mind immediately went to Kill Bill, as it is one of my favorite films of all time. I even did a term paper in college on Beatrice, but that’s a story for another time. It probably would have been more appropriate for this picture, but anyone that reads my blog regularly knows that I do what I want! *laughs*
“Hey, anyone can get love, anyone can get laid
You know you’re home when you find the ones who
Stay brave enough not to tame, they let you burst into flames
Stoke the coals and then watch you blow, yeah
They’re the ones make you trust in the universe
When you’re lost and you’re left and it’s getting worse
They’re the ones who you know will get you by
We are all strange
And it ain’t never, never, ever gonna change
We are all strange
And it ain’t never, ever, never gonna change”
I had just been telling a friend of mine, “I’ve been tip toeing through broken glass for so goddamn long that I’ve forgotten what it feels like to wear my combat boots and fight back.” He shrugged it off like some crazy shit that only a high chick would say, but I think he just didn’t get it. Oddly enough, I was listening to Digital Daggers and one of my favorite songs of their started playing. While I’m not fond of the redundant name of the song, the lyrics connect to me in ways the author couldn’t have possibly imagined, and the melody is one of those hauntingly cool songs that only come along every so often. It all just got me thinking and looking back, which I do a lot.
I had gotten so tired of fighting that I just threw my hands up and surrendered. I tiptoed around certain friends, avoided some altogether…simply because I didn’t want to upset them and for whatever reason, my presence upsets them. There are people that hate me for reasons I have yet to understand and those people practically monitor my every move, another thing I have yet to understand. I didn’t have any fight in me. I was too emotionally tired to deal with SL drama, which is all it is…stuff that wouldn’t happen in RL, that’s for sure.
I genuinely stopped giving a fuck. Whatever happened…happened. While this attitude was rather liberating and freaking great at first, it got very dark rather quickly. I realized that I had not just lost the ability to give a fuck, but I had also lost hope. I was merely waiting to die. I was impossible to be around, my friends must have been watching from afar…some of them. I know they love me, but I’m sure they were like…nuh huh, she full on craycray, right now! They were right.
Due to so much time alone, I was able to take long horrid looks in the mirror, figuratively and literally. The emptiness in my eyes, no glow in my cheeks, even my lips seem pale. At least I have good make up, maybe I’ll start wearing some of it…not that anyone will see it, unless someone sends me a webcam..lol. I’ve got pink hair dye that I’ve been too chicken to apply..
It’s time to start living again and living for ME! As for all that broken glass? Hmm! Bitches better get out of my way, cuz Momma has a broom, Baby! My existence hurts your feelings? Block me and stop obsessing, stop pretending you like me, stop pretending to my friend…how about you find a new hobby or scape goat this year?
I’m putting my combat boots on, world. Ready or not, I’m not ready to just roll over and die like a little bitch. Enough is enough. I have a lot of changes to make, but there’s nothing like a new year to motivate me to make those changes. Am I making resolutions? No. I’m setting goals. *wink*
It’s that time of year again, when my demons come out the play and my brain just doesn’t want to focus all on its own. So, once again, rather than continue to slap lyrics and songs ALL the time…I am presenting my readers with a challenge. All five of you…lol. I have subscribers that look at the pictures, but I don’t think I have very many actual readers. You guys are my favorites and I can say that, cuz the others don’t read..lol. Ok, so…last year, I offered up a Dangerous Proposition and had a few people participate. I’m hoping that this year’s challenge will bring a few more responses. This year, the suggestions I’m looking for are a bit more specific, yet very random at the same time.
So, here goes…I’m looking to be challenged with two completely random things for me to compare or connect in some way. Some examples would be like…an apple and a wrench, a candle and a cellphone, a piece of cake and a paint brush. Sure, I could use these examples, but it would take the fun out of the challenge for me. This should be especially easy for Grace Sixpence, as last year she always gave me two random things to write about anyway. So, no, you can’t use the ones listed above. So, I challenge you to challenge me. If you’re a blogger that writes and would like to play along just add #challengetochallenge to your suggestion and I will send you two random items to write about, as well.
I’ve been told that I’m a bit of a downer lately and I know it’s true. I’ve also been told that I need to socialize more, but the downer thing is exactly why I can’t right now. I have to keep busy, keep moving forward until all of this real life crap is so far behind me that I can barely see it, much less cry over it. I’m sorry to to the friends that need me right now. I’m simply not strong enough for both of right now. You deserve better, but please know that I do love you all…I am just a mess right now. I’m doing my best to keep myself pulled together, but the minute I stop moving forward…the very moment I let my demons have so much as one second of time in my head. I’m doomed. So, am I withdrawing and isolating? Yes, a bit, but I am trying not to withdraw too much. I even reached out to a handful of friends to do some collaborations. So, you’ll be seeing those soon. ♥