Anesthetize Me

“I said I was into you
You said you were into me…..

Looks like this love wasn’t meant to last…

You said you reap just what you sow
So tell me where does your garden grow”
~Funeral Suits – All Those Friendly People

So, the song is below the credits…and the bits of lyric quoted above really strike a chord with me. I don’t want to get into the details, but I think it’s fairly obvious what its all about. If not, well, maybe you should listen to the whole song, I dunno. I just know I’m tired of talking about my feelings. I’m actually kinda sick of the feelings themselves and talking about them. Well, it fuels my inner demons and I’m over that, too.

scandalize raven
Count back, anesthetize
Colors burnt into my eyes
Life for you is shades of grey
Help me, help me find my way

wearing:
hair: TRUTH Lela (*new* mainstore)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: Glam Affair – Mindy
EF: Fortuna Bangles, Bracelets, Necklace
(Yummy) Delicate Ring Stacks
Scandalize. Raven (*new* @ Shiny Shabby)
Scandalize. Raven Heels (*new* @ Shiny Shabby)

pose: FOXCITY. What Gives Bento Pose Set

MINIMAL – Illuminate Backdrop #5

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It’s All About Avenge

This blog is focused almost solely on Avenge. This store not only does amazingly sexy clothes, but skins and shapes, too! Now, I worked closely with a dear friend to get my shape to where it is and I’ve never been happier, but I always appreciate good skins. Not only does Avenge deliver this gorgeous Heather Skin at the Skin Fair, but if you head over to Whore Couture, you can find some of their sexy outfits that I mentioned. Like this sparkling glitter number I’m wearing below. You can’t see it, but this literally sparkles. Do not confuse that with bling, this is sparkling. I’ve seen a few designers perform this sparkling magic and my love for shinies makes it impossible for me to pass up.

Avenge

wearing:
hair: TRUTH VIP February – Carla
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [Avenge] Heather skin applier for Catwa – pale (*new* @ SKIN FAIR)
[Avenge] Sparkling Glitter tank for Maitreya – silver (*new* @ Whore Couture)
[Avenge] Sparkling Glitter panties for Maitreya – silver  (*new* @ Whore Couture)

poses: FOXCITY. B A D Bento Pose Set (*new* @ Limit8)
background in above photo:  FOXCITY. Photo Booth – B A D Limited (*new* @ Limit8)

Below are examples of all the Avenge skin tones. From Ivy to Dark.

Avenge Heather

Will This Phase Ever End?

I’m so far behind and as I’ve mentioned before, some of my posts get rejected from time to time. So, brace yourself for songs and quotes in the upcoming week as I play catch up.

Nothing More – Jenny

A little sleep, a little slumber
A little folding of the hands
Left you weak, left you hungry
When there’s supply you still demand
You’re beginning to drag the ones you love down
Will this phase ever end?
A thousand arms to hold you
But you won’t reach for any hands
‘Cause I don’t feel like I’m getting through to you
Let me paint this clear, life is short, my dear
See your mother here, her last painful year
I wish you only knew
She stuck around for you
Maybe you should just fall
Leave the world and lose it all
And if that’s what you need
To finally see
I’ll be with you through it all
Bring on the pills, roll that dollar bill
Medicating will never heal
Relapse, rehab, repeat
Always thinking about the me, me, me
Self-destruct, spiral down
Until your want becomes your need
Please get up like I know you can
Or forever love the fall
‘Cause I don’t feel like I’m getting through to you
Let me paint this clear, life is short, my dear
See your mother here, her last painful year
I wish you only knew
She stuck around for you
Maybe you should just fall
Leave the world and lose it all
And if that’s what you need
To finally see
I’ll be with you through it all
I can’t stand to see you down
Strung out, off the wagon, and unwound
Steady, steady, Oh God, Jenny
I can’t bear to hear the sound
Of your body hitting the ground
Oh Jenny Jenny Jenny
Stuck around for you
He stuck around for you
Stuck around for you
Maybe you should just fall
Leave the world and lose it all
And if that’s what you need
To finally see
She loved you through it all
Maybe you should just fall
And if that’s what you need
To finally see
She loved you through it all
I’ll be with you through it all!

I have a story to tell
wearing:
hair:  TRUTH VIP February – Carla
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery] Saska (Catwa Applier) honey
ChicModa // Cami (*new* @ TresChic)
The Annex – Tessa Thigh Highs (*new* @ Enchantment)

pose: GingerFish Poses – Bad at Love

I Don’t Need Your Love

It seems as if I’ve spent the bulk of my life letting go of people, places, and things. I’ve got the grieving process down so well, I practically do it on auto-pilot. I learned at an early age not to count on anything to last forever. If there’s one person in this world that knows how truly temporary everything is…it’s me. I stumbled across the song and I swear I’m not high, but I felt myself being lifted up like a feather in the wind right before a rain storm. Drifting through the air with all the people, places, and things I’ve let go….until the rain comes down and washes them all away. I can look back and smile, because there are some mighty good memories there….it wasn’t all bad. I’ve got very few regrets.

Stealth – I Don’t Need Your Love

I don’t need your love, and I don’t want to waste your time
I don’t need your love, girl, you don’t need mine
My time is up
There’s no more lines to read
It’s too much
There’s no more room to breathe
I know it’s tough
But there’s no more lies to live
I’ve done enough
Now it’s time to leave

This has run its course
I don’t know you, and you don’t seem to first
Time we both let this fade to dust
I don’t need your love, and I don’t want to waste your time
I don’t need your love, girl, you don’t need mine
I don’t need your love, and I don’t want to waste your time
I don’t need your love, girl, you don’t need mine

I must to admit, I felt it before worse
So this is it, you must’ve foreseen the worst
We have tried our best, you don’t love me, and I my heart’s already left
It’s time we call the latest down to rest
I don’t need your love, and I don’t want to waste your time
I don’t need your love, girl, you don’t need mine
I don’t need your love, and I don’t want to waste your time
I don’t need your love, girl, you don’t need mine

It always hurt when the rain is bringing in to the summer
It’s kinda hard to watch the night’s bringing into the day
It always hurts when we’re moving from one to another
If you’re not moving here in the dark, you will stay
I don’t need your love, and I don’t want to waste your time
I don’t need your love, girl, you don’t need mine
I don’t need your love, and I don’t want to waste your time
I don’t need your love, girl, you don’t need mine

I don’t need your love, and I don’t want to waste your time
I don’t need your love, girl, you don’t need mine
I don’t need your love, and I don’t want to waste your time
I don’t need your love, girl, you don’t need mine

eternity

wearing:
hair:  TRUTH VIP January – Teanna
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: Glam Affair –- MaryJane – Catwa Mesh Head Applier – Artic (*new* @ Kinky)
Cae :: Infinity :: Necklace (*new* @ FaMESHed)
**RE** Exene Rings & Claws
Scandalize. Senuna (*new* @ Cosmopolitan)
Scandalize. SenunaHEELS (*new* @ Cosmopolitan)

Pose: FOXCITY. Bad Kitty VOL2 Bento Pose Set
FOXCITY. Photo Booth – Lipstick Lounge – Purple (*new* @ Cosmopolitan)

RED FLAG!!

Alright, let’s talk. Ladies, I’m talking to you and myself. We’ve got to stop taking shit off these fuckers! Pay attention to the red flags! Ya know what? No, I’m not talking just to the ladies….guys, you need to listen up, too! Those red flags? Each new person you meet in SL, use the notes page of their profile, only you can see what you write there. Make a list of those red flags….every single one. Don’t let yourself forget them. Why? Because red flags are a big ass sign telling you to be careful and the more there are…well, run, dumbass! Don’t think you are going to be the one to change them or fix them. You won’t. Especially not in SL. Let’s face it, this is the land of broken souls. Let me list a few like I did with the Go Fuck Thyself post. These things apply to friendships & romantic relationships. Let’s just avoid the toxicity right up front, shall we?
Does s/he disrespect you by making overt sexual comments during your first conversation? RED FLAG!
S/He start IMs with “I’m bored.” RED FLAG!
His profile is full of all his female friends with no shout outs to a single guy? RED FLAG!
Her profile is full of all her male friends with no shout outs to any girls? RED FLAG!
Blank profiles! RED FLAG!
Immediately starts telling you that you need to change anything…from your avatar to your personality. RED FLAG!
Constantly crashes whenever the conversation gets serious. RED FLAG!
Always telling you how perfect you are? No one is perfect. They need to love you AND your flaws. Perfection is impossible and pedestals weren’t designed for two. RED FLAG!
Constantly needing to touch you, hold you too close, know your every move? Clingy much? RED FLAG!
Trying to rush you into a relationship? RED FLAG!
Do they try to isolate you? Keep you from your friends or not interested in meeting your friends? RED FLAG!
Not trying to introduce you to their friends? Claim they don’t really have any? RED FLAG!
Describe ALL of their exes as crazy? Well, you’re crazy if you don’t see this…RED FLAG!
Moody as fuck? Mean as hell one day, charming the next, sullen a day later? RED FLAG!
Super secretive about little stuff? Imagine how they are with big things. RED FLAG!
Sending you on so many guilt trips that you’re acquiring frequent flyer miles? RED FLAG!
They make you feel stupid, insult your intelligence, point out what you don’t know, mock your ideas, convinced they can change your mind? Gaslight much? RED FLAG!
Wants to keep your relationship a secret? RED FLAG!

I’m sorry to break it to you, but if you choose to ignore these red flags…well, prepare for some heart ache. I mean, maybe you’re not that emotionally invested…maybe these red flags won’t apply to you. Perhaps you have some arrangement that works for you and a friend, like FWB. I’m just saying if you want something serious with someone…these are just a few things to watch out for. In the meantime, hang in there, cuz we can do bad all by ourselves.

holding on for all I'm worth

wearing:
hair:  TRUTH Lilo (*new* @ Uber)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: Glam Affair –  Catwa Applier – Clara – America 02
_CandyDoll_ Lily Shirt (*new* Mainstore)
_CandyDoll_ Lily Skirt (*new* Mainstore)
_CandyDoll_ Lily Heels (*new* @ N21)

pose: FOXCITY. Observe Bento Pose Set
MINIMAL – Illuminate Backdrop #4 (*new* @ Epiphany)

In The Cold, Cold Night

It’s another song post. I can’t type about what’s on my mind right now. I just can’t. So, if you hate these, I’m sorry.

The White Stripes – In The Cold, Cold Night

I saw you standing in the corner
On the edge of a burning light
I saw you standing in the corner
Come to me again in the cold, cold night
You make me feel a little older
Like a full grown woman might
But when you’re gone I grow colder
Come to me again in the cold, cold night
I hear you walking by my front door
I hear the creaking of the kitchen floor
I don’t care what other people say
I’m gonna to love you, anyway
Come to me again in the cold, cold night
I can’t stand it any longer
I need the fuel to make my fire burn bright
So don’t fight it any longer
Come to me again in the cold, cold night
And I know that you feel it too
When my skin turns into glue
You will know that it’s warm inside
And you’ll come run to me, in the cold, cold night

bueno gown

wearing:
hair: TRUTH Caralisa
head: CATWA HEAD Uma
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: DeeTaleZ  “Merrylu” Mixedtype
tattoo: .Identity. Body Shop – Rise Again
.DirtyStories. Nera’s Necklace
BUENO-Night Dress (*new* @ C88)

pose: Foxcity. Fixated Set

SAYO – Twenty18 Backdrop Scene
hive // celebration balloons

 

Howlin For You

The Black Keys – Howlin For You

I must admit
I can’t explain
Any of these thoughts racing
Through my brain
It’s true
Baby I’m howlin’ for you

There’s something wrong
With this plot
The actors here
Have not got
A clue
Baby I’m howlin’ for you

Mockingbird
Can’t you see
Little girl’s
Got a hold on me
Like glue
Baby I’m howlin’ for you

Throw the ball
To the stick
Swing and miss and a
Catcher’s mitt
Strike two
Baby I’m howlin’ for you

howling

wearing:
hair: TRUTH Caralisa
head: CATWA HEAD Uma
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: DeeTaleZ  “Merrylu” Mixedtype
[Cynful] Wish Necklace Set
[Cynful] Delrica’s Cozy Sweater (*new* @ C88)
[VALE KOER] THERMAL SOCKS GROUP GIFT

pose w/window included:  [ Focus Poses ]  Frosty Morning

on the window sill:
Apple Fall  Crumpled Newspaper
Apple Fall Liberty Sketchbook
Apple Fall Coffee & Muffin

outside:
Soy.. Snow Covered Woods Set
Soy.. Snow covered cliff and rock Set
LB_Conifer.v2{Seasons}
JIAN Grey Wolf :: Static Howl

Like Lovers Do

Hey Violet – Like Lovers Do

I see you watching me
Eyes on your target
Mix drinks and smoke rings
It’s already started
It won’t be too long before me and you
Are doing what lovers do
Clothes on the floor
We’re exploring our bodies
Getting you off is my new favorite hobby
Lipstick on your neck brands like a tattoo
Cause that just how lovers do
Oh, love is just another four letter word
But that never stopped nobody
Oh, either way we lose
Just like lovers, just like lovers do
His and hers closets are perfect for skeletons
Hiding resentment and shared infedelities
Cheers to regret, wash it down with some booze
Drinking like lovers do
Oh, love is just another four letter word
But that never stopped nobody
Oh, either way we lose
Just like lovers, just like lovers do
That’s how it goes
So take care like a grown-up
Life’s not a fairytale, it’s hard to own up
Hire a hitman to take care of you
And end it like lovers do
Oh, love is just another four letter word
But that never stopped nobody
Oh, either way we lose
Just like lovers, just like lovers do
I see you watching me
Eyes on your target
Mix drinks and smoke rings,
It’s already started
Let’s roll the dice and we’ll both make our moves
Playing like lovers do

playroom

wearing:
hair: TRUTH Halona (*new* @ Uber)
head: CATWA HEAD Uma
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: DeeTaleZ  “Merrylu” Mixedtype
_CandyDoll_ Paula Dress

pose: Foxcity Beach Bunny Set

scene:
:CP: Dove Rug (*new* @ Uber)
Fancy Decor: Callot Cabinet (*new* @ Uber)
Fancy Decor: Annular Clock (silver)
Fancy Decor: Stack of Books II (*new* @ Uber)
tres blah– Hodgepodge – Catch All
Fancy Decor: Pinecone Candle (*new* @ Uber)
Fancy Decor: Callot Mirror (*new* @ Uber)
Refuge – Spark Lamp Shimmer Silver Larger
Dutchie maledom chair 2.0
Dutchie mesh leather poof chocolat
:CP: Dove Book & Tea (*new* @ Uber)
tres blah– Hodgepodge – Paper Pile
tres blah– Hodgepodge – Agenda RARE
[Commoner] Break-Up Survival Kit / Personal Massager
tres blah– Hodgepodge – Snail Mail
:CP: Dove Bench (*new* @ Uber)
Ariskea[Sage] Succulent 2
Ariskea[Sage] Succulent 1
Kinky Cat Decoration (Black)
Qausi – Pleasure Box
Quasi – Kink Toy Shelf V.2
JIAN Wall-Mounted Betta Tank (*new* @ Uber)
uK – Pony Girl Rocker Wood (*new* @ Kinky)

Warm On A Cold Night

I promise I’m trying to get back to actually writing wit my blogs, because its what I do. I’m just going through a hard time right now. I’ll be alright. I know that, but for now I am still hurting too much to talk about it.

Honne – Warm On A Cold Night

Like a rabbit in headlights
They’re stunned by all your charm
And I feel so damn lucky
To have you on my arm
And I can’t help but wonder
How we ended up alright
And I love you like no other
‘Cause this has never felt so right
Yeah you can keep me warm on a cold night
Warm on a cold cold night
Yeah you can keep me warm on a cold night
Warm on a cold cold night
I want to treat you something special
Give you what you deserve
I want to take you to paradise
In a 1950’s Merc
And I can’t help but wonder
Just how we ended up alright
And I love you like no other
And this has never felt so right
You can keep me warm on a cold night
Warm on a cold cold night
You can keep me warm on a cold night
Warm on a cold cold night
Girl you can keep me warm
You can keep me real warm
There’s just one thing
Girl you could have anyone
So why you choosing me and not leaving me on my own
Girl you could be with anyone
So thanks for making me your number one
You can keep me warm on a cold night
Warm on a cold cold night
Yeah you can keep me warm on a cold night
Warm on a cold cold night
Yeah wrap me up and keep warm on a cold night
Warm on a cold cold night
Oh yeah you can keep me warm on a cold night
Warm on a cold cold night

Cuddle Weather

wearing:
hair: TRUTH VIP November – Ginevra
head: CATWA HEAD Lilly
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
*MC* Naughty & Nice Lingerie (Dec Bound Box)

pose: Foxcity On Point set

scene:
uK – Countryside Cottage (*new* @ C88)

Violetility – Winter Wonderbed (Dec Bound Box)

:CP: Winter Isle Lounge Set (*new* @ District20)
-:CP: Country Home Coffee Table Winter
-:CP: Country Home Chessboard
-:CP: Winter Isle Countdown
-:CP: Poetry Pinecone Lights
-:CP: Winter Isle Candles
-:CP: Winter Isle Deer

Kalopsia – Little Tree Deco
Kalopsia – Pompom Rug (white)

Mutresse-#Elfie-Naughty Elf (*new* @ Arcade)
Mutresse-Silenced-Naughty Elf (*new* @ Arcade)
Mutresse-Assasin-Naughty Elf (*new* @ Arcade)
Mutresse-Protesting-Naughty Elf (*new* @ Arcade)

O.M.E.N – Christmas Morning – Gift Box – Silver (*new* @ Tannenbaum)

Fancy Decor: Gordon Collection Fatpack (*new* @ C88)
-Fancy Decor: Pillar Fireplace (white)
-Fancy Decor: Pillar Candles (white)
-Fancy Decor: Gordon Candlestick (silver)
-Fancy Decor: Wooden Box (plain lid)

Fancy Decor: Cavalieri Side Table

SAYO – Joy Holiday Sign

Second Spaces – snow day books – messy stack

Di’Cor Rayon Living Set (*new* @ FaMESHed)
-Di’Cor Rayon Armchair
-Di’Cor Rayon Planter
-Di’Cor Rayon Photo Frames

Silence. – Make Today Amazing

Refuge – Spark Lamp Shimmer Silver Larger

NOMAD // Kitty Choir

PILOT – Gift Mouse [Deer]

The Loft – Tivoli Christmas Stockings

*HEXtraordinary* Vintage Ceramic Christmas Tree Light (*new* @ Tannenbaum)

Apple Fall Happy Santa Figure (Creamy)

JIAN Christmas Tree 2017 Decorated (*new* @ FaMESHed)

dust bunny . porcelain deer . ivory
dust bunny . knitted stool
dust bunny . cocoa & cookies tray

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