Chris calls me an angel, which is funny in a way, cuz I think the only other people that’s called me that were my mom and my grandmother….when I was a baby. In fact, they called me precious little angel. Anyway, that’s a story for another time. I did this picture for Chris in honor of him calling me his angel…I mean, naughty angels are a thing, right? I mean, I assume he calls me that cuz I took him to heaven a time or two or six…*grins*
Sady is wearing:
hair: DOUX – Shamiya hairstyle
head: LeLUTKA Lake Head 1.1
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V5.0
skin: [theSkinnery] Signe
#29 Blueberry – Angelberry -Common- Halo – Pure
#6 Blueberry – Lillith – Wings – RARE – White *M*
[The Forge] – Ocullas Arms Rare, Lootbox
3. [CX] Industrial Valkyrie – Top // M // White Out @ Epiphany
9. [CX] Industrial Valkyrie – Skirt // M // White Out @ Epiphany
23. [CX] Industrial Valkyrie – Boots // M // White Out @ Epiphany
She knew it was time for her to go. She knew what she was walking away from and she knew what she was walking towards. On her way down the long corridor, she stopped and looked back. She knew it wasn’t a good idea to look back, but she couldn’t go without hoping they would follow her. Alas, she stood alone, just as she had stood alone in her decision.
The other day I wrote about protecting my heart and staying guarded. At the same time, I know if that if I don’t take the leap once in a while, I’m doomed to feel lonely. Fortunately, after all this time, I have found someone that does understand my limitations. I know there are no guarantees in life, especially when it comes to love. So, I have thrown myself into the space and have decided to conquer this fear of mine. I’m going to trust the process. I’m going to trust a man…as much as I can. Time will tell, but I have a good feeling about this.
You won’t see me talking about tattoos too often. Mostly because I have a tendency to change tattoos so often…hell most times I forget to even credit them. However, I have got to say that when I found out that Garden of Ku was back on the grid, I literally squealed! No, I’m not blogging for them, though I would love to. They were one of my favorite tattoo stores back in the day. So, if you love virtual ink and you’re looking for something new…go have a look. I really want them to stick around and you’re bound to see more of them in upcoming posts.
Reading the red flags and taking notes is not something I’ve excelled at over the years. I’m figuring out things about myself while be paralyzed by pain. How can I ignore that he’s got someone in his life that cannot know about me? How do I know that he’s not still with her? How can I ignore that I’m a secret? I can’t. Yes, he ticks a lot of the right boxes, but there’s so much more. It’s no secret that I have trust issues. Hell, I’ve got subscriptions. How can I trust a man that isn’t honest with and about his current situation? I won’t deny there’s an attraction. That attraction is stronger than I could have anticipated, but how can I respect myself or him if I continue with this dance on the edge of wrong. Oh sure, we can justify it six ways from Sunday. Have we done anything wrong? I suppose we haven’t. Not technically, but what I do know is that I would not be comfortable with my man having these conversations behind my back.
I am not a rebound. I am not a fall back plan. I am not a replacement. I am not a substitute. I’m sure as hell not some dirty little secret. If I’m going to open myself up to something beyond friendship again…and that’s just NOT likely, I will not settle. Like I recently told a friend, I don’t know if I deserve better, but I sure as hell won’t settle for less.
It’s a thief in the night
To come and grab you
It can creep up inside you
And consume you
A disease of the mind
It can control you
It’s too close for comfort
Throw on your break lights
We’re in the city of wonder
Ain’t gonna play nice
Watch out, you might just go under
Better think twice
Your train of thought will be altered
So if you must falter be wise
Your mind is in Disturbia
It’s like the darkness is the light
Am I scaring you tonight
Your mind is in Disturbia
Ain’t used to what you like