The Ugliest Thing I Could Find

So, the tie dye pattern on this Migle dress from United Colors reminded me of one of my favorite shirts when I was about 18. There’s actually a funny story about that shirt. My parents got divorced when I was 15, for the first year my mom cried almost every night. After that she went a little wild. She was going on trips quite regularly, but being the awesome mom that she was, she would always bring me a present. Being the mom with awful taste meant I wasn’t going to like it if it was clothing. Then lo and behold she returned from a trip with the most awesome looking black and white tie dyed shirt I had ever seen. It wasn’t even a tee shirt, it was like a wicked blouse! I was so shocked and happy. As I’m standing there hugging the shirt, then holding it up, then ripping off my current shirt to try it on, my mom is standing there laughing so hard she has tears running down her face. Naturally, I had to know what was so damn funny, right?
She wiped the tears from her face and asked if I really liked the shirt. I nodded profusely, “Yes! I love it, Momma! Thank you. I can’t believe you picked this out, though.”
She laughed again for a minute then said, “Well, you never like anything I pick out, so I just looked around the shop for the ugliest thing I could find. You’re welcome.”
Damn woman. We still have opposing taste in most things, but she’s gotten a lot better at picking out gifts over the years. *laughs* Even if she thinks they’re ugly.

shade

 

wearing: 
hair
Tableau Vivant \\ Caprice hair (*new* @ SL14)
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
tattoo: .::Nanika::. Scarlet tattoo Black

UC_Migle_dress (*new* @ SouledOut)
fri. – Dora Sandals (*new* @ Uber)

pose by an lar [poses] The Betty Series (*new* @ Vintage Fair)

location…well, I can’t tell you that, it was at a friend’s beach…sorry, not sorry

These Chains

“Even in these chains, you can’t stop me.
Even in these chains, you can’t stop me!”
In This Moment Big Bad Wolf

The song I quoted above is one of my all time favorite songs and the moment I heard it I recognized the struggle with myself in the lyrics. I often find myself wrapped in the chains of circumstances. Too many times those chains of my own. The fight that goes on in my head with myself is a constant one. Perhaps the voice inside me that belittles me at every turn, the one that abuses me mentally and emotionally, the one that urges me towards death and poor choices…perhaps that’s the part of me that was trained to believe I was nothing but entertainment by my father. Perhaps not. Its quite possible that we all have an inner voice that criticizes our every move. That voice of doubt…of worthlessness…our own worst critic….maybe we all have that voice.
I can’t know how loud other people’s ugly little voices yell or scream, but I know that mine can be deafening. However, I can yell back at them just as loud…at times. The last year and a half have lent so much strength to that hateful voice that I’ve had to lean on friends and medications to keep my head afloat. I teetered on a very fine line between life and death, but now? Now, I am fighting back. I’m standing up and I’m breaking those chains, because I will not be my worst enemy anymore. To that awful voice inside my head, I scream, “Even in these chains, you can’t stop me!”

these chains can't stop me_014

hairTableau Vivant \\ Summer Hairplay – Coromuel (*new* @ Arcade)
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara

[CX] Qilin Horns (Silver)
**RE** Cora Arms Harness 1.2
E.V.E Shroud of Chains {Black} Cape
Phedora Belladona ~ Amoret addon Maitreya nyx (*new* @ Arcade)
Phedora Belladona ~ Amoret Maitreya nyx (*new* @ Arcade)
{Luxuria} Baby Girl Stockings (FLF 6/9/17)
Phedora Belladona ~ Edith platforms Maitreya Nyx (*new* @ Arcade)

background made using a spiked box from The Weekend Ruiner
and uK – Mystic Dew Drops Ani Silver

pose created with AnyPose

Just Breathe

“Wish I was small
In sunny days
A summer light breeze
Could lead me further”
The White Birch ~ Breathe

Sometimes life delivers me some rather low and sudden blows. Its times like these that I want to either curl up in a ball in the comfort of my bed, wrapped in the familiarity of my blankets, pillows, and dreamless slumber…or I want to run as far from the world as possible…to the edge of nowhere and just feel the comfort of the sun on my skin…a warm breeze caressing my flesh. As beautiful and wonderful as the world of Second Life can be, sometimes even here there is no solace from the harsh dark clouds hovering over me in the real world. Despite the fact that logic tell me, “this is temporary” and “this too shall pass.” Sometimes I cannot help but be swallowed up by the overwhelming desperation swirling like the madness of a tornado in my mind. Try as I may, I cannot always beat my demons with the rational of optimism and logic. Some days its all I can do to just breathe.

kaithleen

hair:  Tableau Vivant \\ Summer Hairplay – Sundowner (*new* @ Arcade)
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
eyesCATWA Mesh Eyes Pack
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
tattoo: Vintage Flowers – White Tattoo [CAROL G] (*new* @ Vintage Fair)

EarthStones Crystal Rain Earrings – Aqua
EarthStones Crystal Rain Double Necklace – Aqua
EarthStones Crystal Rain Long Necklace – Aqua
Kaithleen’s Vintage Summer Dress (*new* @ The Liaison Collaborative)

pose by oOo Studio
location: Black Kite

If I Have an Angel

I was born on a Sunday morning. My devote Christian grandmother told my mom that it meant I would have extra angels looking over me. As I was not a particularly graceful child (or adult for that matter) my mother would often say, “Your angels are working overtime today!” As I got older and continued to be anything but graceful, my mother would beg my extra angels to look after me and to have mercy on her. *laughs* I see a lot of memes with angels facepalming that say something about how people’s angels must look watching over them. Every time I see one, I just chuckle. My grandmother passed away when I was eleven. My mother insisted that she joined the ranks of angels looking over me. What occurred in my life the following year was confirmation that there were no angels watching over me.
As I grew older, I would sometimes imagine that there were still a few angels lingering about and just maybe they were dosing out some karma on those that crossed me, but eventually I grew to believe that wasn’t true either. I know some people do believe in angels and I have to say I think its a beautiful sentiment, but for me…nah, I don’t believe in them anymore. However, the concept of angels has always been quite fascinating. I especially love the way they are represented on Supernatural. I realize not all of my readers have seen that show and some may have just started it, so I won’t go into any details and spoil it. The entire concept of God, angels, Lucifer, demons…all of it…ages old, but the way the stories are told on Supernatural almost makes me want to believe in them again. At least that story makes a bit more sense to me, but alas to believe their story means I must also believe in all the monster presented, as well.

angry angel

For now, I’ll just present you with this picture and the thought that if I have an angel watching over me, this is what I think my angel probably looks like…sometimes she is stunned and pointing her finger at me as if to say, “You did it AGAIN!” She would surely be angry and frustrated to say the very least.

lost angel close up

hairTableau Vivant \\ Editorial \ Southern wind – Blacks+Whites
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
skinGlam Affair – Molly – Catwa Mesh Head Applier – Artic (*new* @ Arcade)
eyesCATWA Mesh Eyes Pack
eye applier:Conviction: Viscous Eyes
tearsCURELESS [+] Dragon Tears (v.1)
ears: .:E.A.Studio:. Box Ears Icarus
eyebrowsWarPaint* Hepburn Brow [Catwa] (*new* @ Vintage Fair)
lipstick-SU!– The Matte Lip Essentials
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
tattoo**RE** Surya Tattoo – Common – Silver
nails: Astralia – Compatible nails system (Maitreya Stiletto base)
nail polish: GingerFish-Nail Applier-Astralia- Fairy Glitter-S

.:E.A.Studio:. BOX Collar Oculus Cross
Astralia – Wisdom angel WINGS RARE
.LYBRA . GABRIELLA (*new* @ LIMIT8)
erratic / cerise – panties
#EMPIRE – Impatiens

pose by Del May

scene created in a black box using:
uk – Mystic Dew Drops & Mist Sets
E.V.E Dancing Poison Rain {Silver}

Summer Breeze

“Summer breeze, makes me feel fine, blowing through the jasmine in my mind”
~Summer Breeze – Seals & Croft

This is one of those songs that takes me back to childhood summers in Alabama. As a child I didn’t notice the heat so much, I just knew its warm and the sun is shining, and that meant I could go outside to play. I loved playing outside as a kid. Its not something I see many kids doing where I live unless they’re at the pool. In some ways its kinda sad to see the kids of today more glued to little blue screens than focused on playing tag or hide-n-seek, but I would imagine some of the mothers rest a little easier knowing exactly where their children are, rather than worrying about them getting snatched up or climbing and falling off a scaffold that the workers left behind while working on their apartment building.  *laughs* Yeah, I might have climbed a four story scaffold as a kid, luckily none of us fell, but if our mothers had know what we were doing. *giggles*
From time to time I do see boys outside tossing around a football and because there’s a park next to my neighborhood I can hear the cheers and whistles of soccer (football is you live outside the U.S.) games on occasion. Perhaps its because of where I live that I don’t see a lot of children outside playing, but when I think back to my childhood I’m ever so grateful to have memories of chasing lightening bugs as the sun began to set, because lets face it…we all knew that when those street lights came on, it was time to get our little butts in the house.

I don’t spend nearly as much time outside these days as I did as a child, but again, I’m grateful for the memories of my own. My childhood wasn’t all great, but I truly have some amazing memories worth a visit from time to time and there’s nothing like a summer breeze stirring up the jasmines in my garden to take me back. I hope that summer treats you all well and that you can revisit some of your own beautiful memories. ♥

rh fameshed_001

wearing:
hair: Tableau Vivant \\ Summer Hairplay – Alize – Pack 3 RARE (*new* @ Arcade)
head: CATWA HEAD Kathy
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
tattoo: RedFish – Precious Tattoo (*new* @ Kinky)
makeup (brows/lipstick): A R T E – 40’s MakeUp Pack [Catwa, bento] (*new* @ Vintage Fair)
nail polish on maitreya nailsHello Dave – Nail Appliers – Baroque Pinup 1 (*new* @ Vintage Fair)

MINIMAL – Chiara Glasses -Silver-(*new* @ FaMESHed)
!Rebel Hope – Jasmina Mesh Bikini (*new* @ FaMESHed)

pose: FOXCITY. Formal VOL1-7 (Slim gown)

location: aloha beach

Soaking Up The Sun

Summer is almost here and that means bikini season! This makes me so freaking happy, because I just love drinking margaritas by the pool and hanging out with friends…half naked friends. Rebel Hope has made some of my favorite bikinis to date and her offering at the Fifth Anniversary of FaMESHed is no exception. Its a fatpack must have! Fortunately, Trompe Loeil also has an amazing pool/patio combo so I don’t have to go far to lounge around in my new bikini!
Of course, these are just more things that I can only do in a virtual world. In the real world, my skin is so fair its translucent. Seriously, you can see my veins. If I spend more than ten minutes in the sun, I’m well on my way to a sunburn. On a rare occasion that sunburn it totally worth it…even if after the burn is gone, I feel like a snake shedding its skin for the following month.

catching some sun

wearing:
hairTableau Vivant \\ Angy + (*new* @ TMD)
head: CATWA HEAD Kathy
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara

[Z O O M] Eilla Glasses (*new* @ FaMESHed)
Astralia – Lunar ascendant Rings (*new* @ FaMESHed)

Rebel Hope – Megan Bikini (*new* @ FaMESHed)
Phedora ~ Kennedy heels (*new* @ Chapter Four)

pose: Bauhaus Movement – F*ck The Mainstream 12 (some editing done using AnyPose)
Trompe Loeil – Geonna Patio + Pool (*new* @ FaMESHed)

 

Let’s Talk

Can you believe she said that? Did that? Can you? I can promise you that you can and you do. We all do. No, we didn’t see it. No, we weren’t part of it even the slightest bit of a friend of a friend way. Of course we won’t repeat it (I like to believe we are all a little better at keeping our mouths shut, but fb tells me otherwise.). I see all sorts of people meddling in other people’s affairs. Now, if you’re not practically family, I think you should probably stay out of it. Afterall, what’s your motive for getting involved? Don’t even try that whole, “If it was me, I’d wanna know” line, cuz lets face it…you’re not him/her and you don’t have a clue what they want and if you’re not 100% proof positive about what’s being said, you should probably take it with a grain of salt, perhaps check the motives of your storyteller and go on about your own business. *nods*
I love how people say they’re all about not getting sucked into drama, but will be the first to spread gossip…thus fueling the drama mills. We can’t avoid ALL drama, but there are some sure fire ways to diminish drama…IF that’s what you really want to do.
Let’s start with the first and most obvious thing. Keep what you hear…keep it all to yourself. C’mon, knowledge is power, so empower yourself and stop running your mouth. Plus, people are a lot more likely to confide in you when you’re not telling everyone’s business. You wanna be trustworthy, dontcha? Of course, you do! So…ZIP THE LIP!
Secondly, stay out of it as much as possible. If you don’t have a dog in the fight, you sure as hell don’t need to go blasting your opinion to everyone that listens. So, back to zipping the lip. Surround yourself with trustworthy people for your gossiping needs, your venting needs. Know that you can trust them with any awful thing you say and that they can trust you. Its simple to get it all out of your system, without getting directly involved and stirring up even more drama, right? Right!
Sooo, today we learned to…ZIP THE LIP!

Okay, I’ll end this here for now…but I retain the right to revisit this topic if you all don’t start spreading some love, damnit! *giggles & blows kisses*

redfish

wearing:
hair:   Tableau Vivant \\ Thea
head: CATWA HEAD Kathy
eyes: CATWA Mesh Eyes w/-SU!– [CATWA & OMEGA HUD] Xenira Eyes ALL COLORS
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
tattoo: RedFish – Geomatic tattoo

.random.Matter. – Taeil Choker – Black
Vinyl– London Crop Top Group Gift Pak
[VALE KOER] WAIST PANTIES

pose by Bauhaus Movement slightly edited with AnyPose
background: [Bad Unicorn] 04 Hype-Beast Backdrop