Power

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” ~Alice Walker

Such a simple statement, yet filled to the brim with truth. We often refuse our own power whether surrender to others for emotional gratification or pointing fingers to place the blame for our predicaments. The truth is we have a hand in everything that happens to us. Perhaps not in the actual events, but certainly we are responsible for how we move forward. The victim of a crime is only a victim for as long as the crime is happening. Afterwards, there is a choice…survive or surrender. Use the power within ourselves to overcome what has happened or surrender to the fear, pain, and memories of it all. Power…really is a choice, isn’t it?

red means go

wearing:
hair:  :::Phoenix::: Evelyn Hair (*new* @ Hairology)
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
ChicModa // Halle // Bloggers (*new* @ 4Mesh)
Phedora ~ Alicia heels ~ group gift

pose: Foxcity Steamy Set
scene:
RAMA – #selfie_RAMA Studio Disks (*new* @ 6Republic)
Di’Cor Carson Leather Chair [Ivory]
Fancy Decor: Turvy Wine Glass

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Breaking Free

I wrote the other day about wanting to do something different and well, here it is. *laughs* This me trying to think outside the box? I honestly have no idea what to say about this, except that I think sometimes when we feel caged, its our own fault. Sometimes we lose sight of what we want in the effort to please others. Sometimes we stifle our creativity by trying to control it. So, this is me breaking free in a way. I actually really like how this turned out, but its hard for me to explain the way it makes me feel. Words are hard sometimes, okay?

break free

wearing:
UC_Imortal_mask
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
LYBRA . LACY BLOGGERS (*new* @ Kinky)
LYBRA . WITCH GLOVES
LYBRA . XL STILETTO NAILS

pose by Bauhaus Movement
RAMA – #selfie_RAMA Neon Grid#2 (*new* @ 6 Republic)

Google & Me- #SecondLifeChallenge

Alright, Strawberry has another challenge for us and her’s the instructions:
Google your Second Life avatar name inside quotation marks and then answer the following questions.

  1. Google your Second Life name in “quotations” and share your results. About 7,440 results
  2. What are the first 5 links that come up? My flickr, my playlist on YouTube, my SL blog, my short story blog that I don’t use, and my Google+.
  3. Click on the “Images” tab and tell us where the first 5 images are from. All of them are on Flickr and from my blogs.
  4. Click on the “Videos” tab and share your results, if any. The first one is a video I was in for MadPea a while back, the rest are songs I liked or commented on.
  5. Click on the “News” tab and share your results, if any. The only result was do I mean Sadystik Sabretooth, which got no results. No news is good news, right?
  6. Did any of the results surprise you? I was surprised there were so many results. Apparently, I’ve been tagged in a lot blogs and stuff that I didn’t know about.
  7. Are you satisfied with your results or wish they were different in any way? I can’t say I’d want to see them differently or that I was dissatisfied. I never even thought to do this before, but it was fun and now I’m sort of obsessed with seeing what all these results are AND I’ve found myself creating a Pinterest account…what the hell is happening to me???

Envy

wearing:
hair: RAMA.SALON – Kendall Hair (*new* @ FaMESHed)
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
nose piercing: –SU!– Piercing Set 05 Bridge (Catwa Tala)
lip piercing: –SU!– Piercing Set 05 Snakebites (Catwa Tala)
[Cynful] Angelina’s Leather Set  (*new* @ C88)

pose by Foxcity
RAMA – #selfie_RAMA Neon Hangar (*new* @ 6 Republic)

Random Run

She was out for a run like any other day. She stopped at the corner market for her bottle of water and a rest when the adorable little puppy wandered up, tongue and tail wagging. She poured some of her water on the ground for the pup and he lapped up before passing out at her feet. He had no tags and he was too cute to leave abandoned in a parking lot. She sighed and rolled her eyes at herself, I don’t have time for a puppy. She carried the pup into the store and asked the clerk if she knew anything about it. The clerk mentioned that the pup had been hanging around for a few days but no one had claimed it or came looking for it. Sady sighed again, left her number with the clerk just in case anyone came looking for the sweet puppy and took it home.
That was six years ago, the Random and Sady have been inseparable ever since.

rest stop

wearing:
hair/Wasabi Pills/ Deanna (*new* @ FaMESHed)
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
skin: DeeTaleZ *Appliers* CATWA Head “Face Miriam”
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
tattoo: [White~Widow] Coco – Black (*new* @ Uber)

[Z O O M] Jinks Glasses (*new* @ FaMESHed)
Scandalize. Annie TOP. Maitreya (*new* @ MBA Fair)
Scandalize. ANNIE Sweatshirt. Maitreya (*new* @ MBA Fair)
Scandalize. ANNIE Leggins. Maitreya (*new* @ MBA Fair)
REIGN.– JUNE SNEAKERS
JIAN Lively Labs :: Black Companion Pup
{Imeka} Cutie water bottle {5}

Scene:
7 – Ice Machine II PG (pose included, edited with AnyPose)
RAMA – #selfie_RAMA Sclater Street

To AraCakes with Love

I grew up listening to my mom telling stories about hanging out at the soda fountain at the pharmacy after school. The closest thing I had to that was my last two years of high school, we’d all park at Corner Grocery, which was really a Texaco station, get drunk and dance in the gravel parking lot. The owners were super cool and didn’t mind us being there as we bought drinks, snacks, cigarettes, and occasionally talked someone into buying us alcohol. Plus, the store isn’t likely to get robbed with a group of teens hanging out next to it. Those were good times, but I always wondered what it must have been like to sit on a stool at an actual soda fountain. God knows with the heat in my part of the world, I’d love to sit in a sweet shop with a good old fashioned milk shake right about now. We had a really cute little shop for a while called Just Desserts where you’d get a piece of cake the size of your head and pay about $6usd for it, but it was literally too rich for my blood. That’s the problem I find with most American desserts anyway, too sweet. I grew up on European desserts and as decadent as they looked, they were the perfect balance of flavors without being too sweet.
So, anyway, you might be wondering about the title and what that has to do with what I’ve written. Well, I’ll tell you, absolutely nothing. This post is just a little wink to Miss AraCakes, a wonderful and shy friend of mine that is the only one that gets away with calling me Cupcake. I know by writing that you’ll all try it now and I’m warning you, the nickname is reserved for Ara only, so when I ignore you…you’ll know why, cuz you fuckers ain’t gonna steal her special pet name for me! *sticks her tongue out*

SadyCakes

wearing:
hair
little bones. Estine (*new* @ C88)
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
tattoo.:::G.ID:::. Charlotte Tattoo (*new* @ Vintage Fair)

Cae :: Sydney :: Necklace (*new* @ FaMESHed)
:::NOIR::: Infinite Bracelets (*new* @ FaMESHed)
**RE** Dark Queen Rings – Bento 2.0
Astralia – Compatible nails system (Maitreya Stiletto base)
GingerFish -Nail Applier-Astralia-Bloody Kisses
LYBRA . Natalia (*new* @ SouledOut)
[Gos] Boutique – Gigi Sandals (*new* @ FaMESHed)

pose by Del May Poses

scene:
RAMA – #selfie_RAMA Iron Wall
[Merak] – Milkshake Sign (*new* @ Vintage Fair)
[Merak] – Bakery Sign (*new* @ Vintage Fair)
[Merak] – Cupcake Sign (*new* @ Vintage Fair)
[Merak] – Cupcake Box (*new* @ Vintage Fair)
[Merak] – Milkshake Love (*new* @ Vintage Fair)
[Merak] – Retro Bakery Bar (*new* @ Vintage Fair)
[Merak] – Retro High Chair(green) (*new* @ Vintage Fair)

The 3F Rule

“I can swear, I can joke
I say what’s on my mind
If I drink, if I smoke
I keep up with the guys
And you see me holding up my middle finger to the world
Fuck your ribbons and your pearls
‘Cause I’m not just a pretty girl”
Maggie Lindemann – Pretty Girl

My mother was raised in a strict Christian home by a single mom that was too proud to accept charity of any kind, thus she worked three jobs to keep the bills paid. Yet, somehow never missed church or disciplining her daughters by reminding them to carry themselves a certain way. Afterall, what would people think? My father was raised in a very abusive home and was often hidden away from the public by his single mom. She would lock him in the basement on weekends so that she could pretend she only had two children, whose father had died during WWII. (Mind you he died in prison, not the war, but she conveniently left that part of the story out.) My father’s dad had left when he was only 3yrs old to pursue his drinking and drug addictions. Eventually my father joined the U.S. Army, where once again, life was all about appearances.
Needless to say, my parents expected me to behave a certain way. They taught me how to converse with adults politely, then disappear, as children were meant to be seen, not heard. My parents finally divorced when I was in high school and my mother was so beside herself with grief that she quit imposing so many rules on me. That was when I began to develop my own style and discover the person I wanted to be. I didn’t want to cater to society’s norms. I wanted to in the exit door and leave through the entrance. I wanted to wear short skirts over leggings with ripped tee shirts and wild hair.
For years, my mother tried to make me a princess. She wanted to decorate my room with ruffles and canopy beds. I wanted my mattress on the floor with tons of pillows. She quickly became very much like her own mother and repeatedly said to me, “What will people think?”
I didn’t care what people thought! If they didn’t know me, how could they have a proper impression of me? Based on my clothes? The color of my skin? The color of my hair? My eyes? Eventually I discovered the 3F rule and I’ve pretty much lived my life that way ever since.
The 3F rule is simple: If you are not Feeding me, Financing me, or Fucking me….you get no say in how I live my life and your opinion means nothing to me. I was never going to be what my mother wanted me to be, nor did I want to. Yes, she was feeding me and financing me at the time, but she still needed to let me be me…or there would be a fight. There were many of those over the years until she realized she was never going to win. I was not going to be this super feminine little princess that sat around waiting for some prince charming, because I learned early on…you can never truly know another person. The only person you can truly know is yourself and that’s the person you should be true to.

The 3F Rule

hair.:EMO-tions.. *PAOLA* (*new* @ Vintage Fair)
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara

.LYBRA . SADIE (*new* @ FaMESHed)

pose by GingerFish Poses
background: RAMA – #selfie_RAMA Circles Studio

A Broken Phone Booth

“Am I alive or thoughts that drift away?
Does summer come for everyone?
Can humans do as prophets say?
And if I die before I learn to speak
Can money pay for all the days I lived awake
But half asleep?”
Primitive Radio Gods – Standing Outside A Broken Phone Booth With Money In My Hand

This is one of those songs that I’ve probably heard at least 100 times. I liked it a lot. The chorus is quite catchy with the lyrics like:
“I’ve been downhearted baby,
I’ve been downhearted baby,
Ever since the day we met”

and the “Do do do do do do”

However, it wasn’t until I looked up the actual lyrics that I was truly moved by the poetry of it. The melody is certainly hypnotic, but now I think its going to be one of my favorite songs all because I took the time to really read the lyrics in a stand alone manner, like poetry. Which, of course, is something I can truly appreciate as I used to write quite a bit of poetry and on occasion, I still do. I even have another blog for my poetry, that I’ve sadly neglected for a very long time.
I was talking to Josh about writing last night and of course, he’s very supportive and encouraging, but I simply don’t have the drive I once did for such things. My own poetic words have abandoned me, but alas I’m still full of cra…erhm…I mean plenty of random musings like this one.

telephone_005

Anyway, I’d like to wrap up this post with a moment of silence as I send positive thoughts, love & healing light to all of those in Manchester…what happened last night was an immense tragedy and while it breaks my heart that this has happened at all. The way the English people came together to assist one another somehow manages to restore just a little of my faith in humanity and the strength of communities.

wearing:
hairTRUTH Scout
head: CATWA HEAD Kathy
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skinGlam Affair – Polly – Catwa Mesh Head Applier – Jamaica (*new* @ Kustom9)

Pretty Mess – Active Top RED (*new* @ N21)
Pretty Mess – Active Bottoms RED Daddys (*new* @ N21)
{Luxuria} Fall/Winter 16 Thigh High Socks
#EMPIRE – Ixora (*new* @ N21)

pose by Del May

scene:
RAMA – #selfie_RAMA Steel Plate
.UNTITLED. (grounded) mohksy uk phone booth
[ keke ] hogweed shimmer mini
[ keke ] hogweed shimmer maxi

Unlike Any Other

I was thinking about the mushy post I wrote the other day and how I said his love is unlike any I’ve ever known. I got to thinking about how often people say that about current relationships. I thought about how overused the phrase is and quite honestly, I got annoyed with myself for using the phrase so much, as well. Then I started thinking about it, really thinking about it. Each love is and should be like any other, shouldn’t it?
Think about it, every relationship you’ve been in had to be wonderful at some point and had to have seemed unlike any other…at least for a while, right? I mean why be with someone if it doesn’t feel wonderful, right? Even the relationships that are over and ended badly, before the end…before everything went to shit, something was good. That relationship was special. I suppose this is how things become cliche’ in the first place…they ring true and are applicable repeatedly.
Well, it was just something I was thinking about a lot lately. As I am crazy about Josh and he truly is like anyone I’ve ever known before, but then again so are all my exes. *laughs* Thank goodness for that! How daft would it be if they were all the same, afterall!?!? Yeah, ok, there’s a picture and pretty stuff…shutting up now. *wanders off to chase squirrels*

Unlike Any Other_002

wearing:
hairTRUTH Taja
head: CATWA HEAD Kathy
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skinGlam Affair – Polly – Catwa Mesh Head Applier – Jamaica (*new* @ Kustom9)
tattooRedFish  – Pholy Tattoo (*new* @ Lost & Found)

**RE** Bad Kitty Collar 1.1
ChicModa // Carol Top (*new* @ Cosmopolitan)
SPIRIT – Mil pants
fri. – Koko Wraps (*new* @ N21)

pose by Del May

scene:
uK – DJ Dead Chair Grey
RAMA – #selfie_RAMA YES YOU

Stick a Knife In It

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ~Mohandas Gandhi

This is a lesson that took me ages me to learn. I had to learn that I had more power over how I feel than anyone else. I had to learn that forgiveness does not mean forgetting. I had to learn that holding onto resentments is like carrying rocks in my pocket and that each resentment I carry is just another rock. How many rocks must one soul carry until they learn to start letting them go? I had to learn that anger is a secondary emotion. Its one we choose, because its more comfortable than the fear and/or pain behind it. There will be some that read this and disagree, but that simply means they haven’t learned these lessons yet. Some never will. I know these things to be true. I know them to be as true as my weight and the scars on my skin.
Learning to forgive, despite the pain and/or fear certainly is not easy. It doesn’t mean you have to find love in your heart for those that have scorned you. It means you have to find love in your heart for yourself. Enough love to stop giving more power to those that hurt you. It means taking the power away from those that do not deserve it. I recently found out that someone that I once counted among my closest friends has been telling lies about me. He’s told innumerable people that I was trying to sleep with him and that’s why he quit being my friend. Those that know me…that really know him…they know that simply isn’t true, but there are plenty of people out there that are listening and believing his lies. It hurt. It still does, but there’s nothing I can do about him, his lies, or those that choose to believe him, except forgive him and let it go.
Will I ever trust him again? Will I ever be his friend again? Of course not. Learning to forgive and let go does not color me a fool. It simply strengthens me and lightens the load on my soul. I will never understand his reasons for that lie. He could have simply told the truth. We had an argument, we both felt the other person was unreasonable and he chose to walk away rather than talk it out. He could have said that I threw the friendship away, as that may very well have been his understanding of the situation. However, he chose to spread rumors and lies about me instead. Again, I admit that it hurt.
By forgiving him, I drop those rocks of resentment with his name on them, and I lighten the load on my soul. In the end, I am the stronger one, because by lightening my spiritual load I strengthen it at well. He is but one example of how people have stabbed me in the back. There are many others, but I must forgive them, as well. For its my spirit that I must care for and it is my responsibility to lighten that load. I have far more serious matters going on in my life that worrying about this man and his lies or anyone else that chooses to hate me for no genuine reason. So, to him I say, “I forgive you, here’s my back, stick a knife in it if you must, but you will NOT break my spirit or rape my soul.”

 

hide n seek

wearing:
hair: /Wasabi Pills/ Apple Mesh Hair (*new* @ ULTRA)
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
tattoo: [White~Widow] TwinPeaks II – Black (*new* @ Enchantment)
_CandyDoll_ Megan Panties Black (*new* @ Rewind)
Phedora ~ Melissa Strappy heels  (*new* @ Kustom9)
JIAN Jack Russel Terrier :: Companion (Luxe Box May)

pose by Del May

backdrop: RAMA – #selfie_RAMA Cube Photostudio (*new* @ 6 Republic)

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