Eavesdropping

“There’s nothing like eavesdropping to show you that the world outside your head is different from the world inside your head.” – Thornton Wilder

the weight of secrets
While listening at the door, she couldn’t believe what she heard!

wearing:
hair:  pr!tty – Mary  (*new* @ TCF)
head: CATWA HEAD Lilly
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
Scandalize. Akima (*new* @ Cosmopolitan)
erratic / eva – knee socks plain
[VALE KOER] GUMBALL BOOTS (*new* @ N21)

pose: Foxcity Steamy Set
[ isuka ] back alley blue backdrop

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Serial Killers and Me

The other day I posted a blog asking my readers for topics for me to write about. I presented them the opportunity to challenge me with questions or random topics. I got a few responses and as promised, I’m going to use the topics and/or answer the questions, one way or another. So, one of my absolute best friends, Troy Nelson, posed the question, “Why are you so interested in serial killers?”

I’m not exactly sure why I’m so fascinated with them. The only plausible reason I can come up with is that as a child of the 70s, they were constantly in the news. Serial killers were the boogeyman and I wasn’t afraid of them. I was curious. I’m still curious. What makes them tick. What happened to them as children that they turned out that way. As I studied the most common profiles, I figured out that my father could have just as easily have become a serial killer. Then again, I suppose he still could be one, he’s just not been caught. I swear I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised. I suppose I’ve just always had a morbid curiosity for things that most children my age didn’t. I was far more curious about the devil than I was Jesus and I was far more interested in serial killers that super heroes. To answer Troy’s question….I don’t know, I just am.

What's on your mind

wearing:
hair:  pr!tty – Jamie (*new* @ SaNaRae)
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
tattoo: [White~Widow] Invictus II – Cat (*new* @ Uber)
BUENO-Knot Shirt (*new* @ Uber)
(Yummy) Serena Rings (*new* @ N21)

pose: GingerFish Poses – Doll Face set (*new* @ 4Mesh)
MINIMAL – Anniversary Background

Sleepless Nights

Like so many people, I suffer from far too many sleepless nights. I was talking to my lovely friend, Deva, one morning. That often seems to be the start of our conversations, “How are you?” “I’m tired af!” *laughs* Neither of us sleep well and our friend, Troy, on the other hand can simply close his damn eyes and decide to go to sleep. Its a good thing we love him so damn much or we’d truly hate him for that gift alone. Though, to be fair, Troy is so kind hearted, he would gladly share his ability to sleep with us both if he could. (Okay, that sounded wrong, but funny. So, I’m leaving it.) I sure wish he could bottle that ability and send me some. People wonder why I’m so crazy and all over the place with my creativity. I tell you now, its lack of sleep and a brain that goes ninety to nothing all the freaking time. So, whether its a lack of inspiration or too much, I’m going to blame it on my sleepless nights.

break time

wearing:
hair:  pr!tty – Girim – :Short: – [Bang A] (*new* @ TCF)
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
Scandalize. Stacy. (*new* @ Sad November)
Phedora ~ Claudia heels ~ 28 c (*new* @ REWIND)

pose: Foxcity Bad Kitty Set
[ isuka ] izakaya backdrop

Inventories Are Like Kitchens

I’ve spent an entire day sorting through my inventory. I look at it and feel as though I’ve barely made a dent. I’m quite blessed to have so much and I am grateful, believe me. Yet, I’m quite furious with myself for allowing it to become such a dreadful mess in the first place. To make matters worse, as I drop folders into sub folders, I know that those sub folder are in desperate need of sorting themselves. Worst of all? Even if I did not shopping or take on anything new until I completely sorted this inventory (never going to happen)…it’s only going to start AGAIN with the next event! It’s worse than a family kitchen…the work will never be done!

Now what

wearing:
hair:  pr!tty – Evanore (Gift @ Coven)
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
EF: Sumatra Necklace (*new* @ FaMESHed)
[Cynful] Terrica’s Crop Top (*new* @ FaMESHed)
Addams // Dolores Short w/Belt
_CandyDoll_ Alaria Boots (*new* @ Uber)

pose: Foxcity Lounge Set
MINIMAL – VIBE Backdrop *5* -Summer- (Epiphany)

 

I Can Not Find the Words

It’s funny. I have a few friends that say to me, “I don’t know how you always come up with ideas for pictures and something to write about on your blog.” The pictures are no problem. I’m a very visual person, but the words fail me often and I think its obvious. I do so many posts that are barely anything written or simply a song link with lyrics. Today is one of those days, that I simply cannot find the words. However, since the picture makes me look like I’m seeking something off in the distance, being unable to find the words actually kinda fits. *laughs* So, there ya have it….I can not find the words.

on the lookout

hair: pr!tty – Bella  (*new* @ Gacha Gardens)
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: DeeTalez
nose piercing: –SU!– Piercing Set 05 Bridge (Catwa Tala)
lip piercing: –SU!– Piercing Set 05 Snakebites (Catwa Tala)
tattoo: .Identity. Body Shop – Deep Within
Dahlia – Natalie – Necklace (*new* @ FaMESHed)
:::NOIR::: Infinite Bracelets
(Yummy) Nightmare Ring Set
{le fil casse} Laetitia Bra Top Maitreya Black (*new* @ N21)
{le fil casse} Laetitia Skirt Maitreya RARE (*new* @ N21)
Phedora ~ Harley Boots ~ 28 C. (*new* @ Kinky Monthly)

pose: FOXCITY. On Point VOL2 Bento Pose Set
MINIMAL – VIBE Backdrop *4* (*new* @ Epiphany)
JIAN Broken Spider Pot

Crawling

It’s a song day, because I’m not up to the task about writing how I feel or what I’m going through at the moment. Nor am I feeling some saucy little short story. I want to show you some gorgeous goodies from amazing Second Life creators. I do tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, so I give you a peek into how I’m feeling with a song by one of my all time favorite bands.

Linkin Park – Crawling

Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

There’s something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing
This lack of self control I fear is never ending
Controlling
I can’t seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence I’m convinced
That there’s just too much pressure to take)
I’ve felt this way before
So insecure

Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Distracting, reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It’s haunting how I can’t seem

To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence I’m convinced
That there’s just too much pressure to take)
I’ve felt this way before
So insecure

Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing, confusing what is real

There’s something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming (confusing what is real)
This lack of self control I fear is never ending
Controlling (confusing what is real)

Reflection

wearing:
hair: pr!tty – Pixie{GOTG}(*new* @ Gacha Guardians)
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
::Axix:: Beloved Nocturnia Gag (October Bound Box)
.::Supernatural::. Kate Choker Silver (*new* @ Season’s Story)
Astralia – Eternal Rings set (*new* @ Salem)
{le fil casse} Chriselle Top
{le fil casse} Jenna Skirt (*new* @ FaMESHed)
[The Forge] Livia Gladiator Boots

FOXCITY. Prop – Silk Stool (Bad Kitty VOL1) (*new* @ ON9)
MINIMAL – Retro Backdrops *2*

Hungover

So, Friday was my birthday and on Thursday night, Cynthia of Cynful presented me with the jeans you see in this post. Officially my new favorites, not just because I’ll never forget the name of them, but because they fit like a glove. I love these jeans so much! I can’t imagine that every thoughtful detail in these jeans was about me, but I certainly do appreciate every detail. The stitching, the ASS…omg, Josh’s response to my jeans was, “I want Cynthia to make my ass look THAT good!” To which I quickly replied, “SHE’S MINE AND YOU CAN’T HAVE HER!” *giggles* I will however generously share her with the rest of the ladies on the grid…you’re welcome. Ok, real quick about the details again…not only did she do her standard Belleza-Hourglass-Maitreya sizes, but she was thoughtful enough to create two fits for flat feet and heels.  As I recently acquired some adorable toe rings (not pictured) from Astralia…I’ve been running around barefoot all weekend.
Ok, so I had a full two day hangover! Listen, I have a problem, okay? I love tequila and it loves me…well, it used to. I think we broke up this weekend. Tequila is an abusive lover….*nods*…just seduces me over and over until before I know it, I’ve consumed an entire 750ml bottle of 1800 Gold. *hangs her head* I know, I know….I should be dead. A skype call did happen, but not like my old ones where I’d call everyone on my damn list…lol. This time I had Tracy and Grace watching out for me, trying their best to keep me in check. I still managed to say some pretty embarrassing things, luckily the company I keep these days is pretty good and I’m not too worried about being judged or them running about blabbing about my drunken rhetoric. God bless, Dusty, Joe, Tracy, and Grace for having to hear me puke my guts out…even though every time I could take a breath between heaves I’d call out, “I’m okay….” and “I’m sorrry.” To which I could hear them laughing, as I’m sure they found it quite humorous that I was worried about them having to listen to me puke. I’m pretty sure at one point I passed out briefly as I was informed later that I was basically afk for about 45 mins.  Needless to say, Saturday when I woke up I still felt drunk and very sluggish. While sober by Sunday, my mind was still a ball of fuzz. Monday is here now and I’m feeling back to my normal oddball sober self. Whew! I honestly don’t think my ass will be getting drunk ever…okay, for a very long time. *nods seriously*

I had a fantastic birthday and I am so grateful to all of my amazing and wonderful friends that found time to celebrate with me and to those that were quite sad that they weren’t able to make it. I am truly blessed with some of the most amazing friends on the grid. Never thought I could say that about so many people in SL and actually mean it. ♥

sweet dreams
Just kill me now, while I’m all cute in my new jeans.

wearing:
hair: pr!tty – Jill (*new* @ Seasons Story)
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
tattoo: .Identity. Body Shop – Deep Within

SU!– Bento Piercing Set 03
SU!– Bento Piercing Set 03 Labret
SU!– Bento Piercing Set 03 Nose Rings
SU!– Bento Piercing Set 03 Snake Bites
SU!– Piercing Set 05 (*new* @ Industrie)
SU!– Piercing Set 05 Bridge
SU!– Piercing Set 05 Snakebites
EF: Sophistique Cuffs (*new* @ FaMESHed)
UC_Julie_Fringe_vest (For Max)
[Cynful] Sadystika’s Flare Jeans (*new* @ C88)

pose: FOXCITY. Slow Motion Bento Pose Set  (*new* @ Cosmopolitan)
:CP: Natalie Patio Sofa

Another Year Older

It’s my birthday and despite all the terrible things that have happened in my life in the month of October over the years, it remains my favorite month of the year and I still get excited about my birthday. I remember my mother when she was my age and how with each year she got more and more bitter until she hit 60 and quit caring. For me, its just about that one day of the year that’s just supposed to be a great day. From start to finish. I am the QUEEN for one day of the year and this is it! It doesn’t hurt that I absolutely love skulls, ravens, and crows. As it makes me easy to shop for and I’m super appreciative of thoughtful gifts. (Keyword there was thoughtful.)
I already know this is going to be a great day, despite the fact that I’m awake at 2am writing my blog. I’ve been blessed the past couple of weeks with some amazing surprises from Josh and Grace with the promise of another amazing gift coming my way from Rebel. And although, I’m not wearing them in this photo, I received the most incredible gift from Cynthia from Cynful…a pair of jeans named after me. It was just last year that she and I were introduced at my surprise birthday party. It was also that day that she agreed to take me on as a blogger for three months as a favor to my broface, Luis. Since then I’ve taken on more than a blogger role with Cynful and I now consider Cynthia a real friend, even if she is a mean ole German who won’t tell me stuff! *giggles* She’s actually amazing.
This past year has been filled with ups and downs, but mostly ups and I am confident that this next year will be no different. Things are going well for me these days and I’m happy in almost every area of my life. I can say that my Second Life has never been better. I have the most amazing friends and I don’t just mean my cunts (Kess, Tracy, and GraceFace). It goes much deeper than that. There are not enough pics in my profile to brag or touch on them all, nor is even one blog post enough to dedicate to each one of them. I am truly THAT blessed! My birthday wish this year is no secret and its not even for me, despite this being a Blueberry post….hint hint…*eyes Sofia and Blue*…my wish this year is for all of you. It is my wish that this next year is as full of love and laughter as mine has been and continues to be, for there’s no better gift than love and laughter as far as I’m concerned. (Although, my friends have sure given me some pretty fucking amazing presents!) So, happy Friday to you all and given that my birthday is on a Friday this year, that means NEXT Friday is a 13th! Another lucky day for me!!

pretty in pink

wearing:
hair:  pr!tty  – Purrs – [All Color Huds] ULTRARARE (*new* @ Gacha Guardians)
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
Dahlia – Abeille – Necklace (*new* @ FaMESHed)
Dahlia – Abeille – Ring (*new* @ FaMESHed)
Blueberry – Kimi Jacket
Blueberry – Kimi Skirt
Phedora ~ Anemoni heels (*new* @ FaMESHed)

pose: FOXCITY.  On Point Bento Pose Set
anxiety %2200 (*new* @ Industrie)

 

Moon

Its another song post, because its all I could think of while taking the photo. Call me uninspired or musically inspired. *laughs* Either way, here’s the link & lyrics, you know how I do.

Sia – Moon

I watch you spin from afar
I drink you in and breath you out
I’m camouflaged by the time-line
I’m camouflaged when the sun shines

Two ships passing in the night
Two lips pressing ground the tides

I believe the world it spins for you
We will never be, I am the moon
I believe the world it spins for you
We will never be, I am the moon

I long to be a part
I isolate my heart
You’ve drawn me into your world
Now I too spin limbless

One hand clapping, where’s the wind
I stand spanning at your distant wings

I believe the world it spins for you
We will never be, I am the moon

girl in the moon

wearing:
hair: pr!tty  – Cameron (*new* @ Hairology)
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
**CC** – Bokeh Stars
Narcisse– Kellis Babydoll Set (*new* @ 4Mesh)

::WetCat:: “Crescent” Moon Prop  (*new* @ 4Mesh)

{anc} shooting stars

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