Just Be

Yesterday was a bad day. Nothing in particular happened, it was just one of those days where I felt like I had no people skills. My mind was cloudy. I hard a really hard time just thinking about anything that wasn’t laid out in front of me in black and white. I wanted to stay in bed more than anything. To hide under the covers from the world. I did not care about the eclipse, but felt like I should. I just didn’t.
I’m quite fortunate that Josh understands me better than most and understood that I just needed to be. Simply be. We watched some Netflix together, a comedy and we laughed. We didn’t talk much, but we shared time together and he let me be myself.  A few of my friends understood, Rebel even suggested it might be hormones at that’s certainly a possibility. She sent me the link to one of my favorite bad mood songs and that made me grin. I think only three people were aware of how I was feeling and all three were very compassionate.
It wasn’t one of those situations that could be fixed and they knew that. They knew I simply needed to just be. I suppose that might not make sense to some, but for I do believe we all have days like that. We just wake up on the wrong side of the proverbial bed and want more than anything to lash out or be left alone. I knew if I was forced to interact with too many people yesterday I would end up saying or doing something I’d later regret. I went to bed quite early, which led me to wake up too soon. I lied there in my bed thinking how I could make sure today would be different and I just decided that it will be. I cannot suffer another day like yesterday. It felt ridiculous to be so seemingly angry for no apparent reason. Today, I will have a good day if it kills me. *thinks for a minute and grins* Or perhaps kills someone else. *smirks*

Free of Resentment

wearing:
hair: tram G0728 hair / FATPACK+HeadbandHUD UltraRARE (*new* @ PocketGacha)
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V4.1
tattoo: *Moon Tattoo* LARGE LOTUS

-SU!- Bento Piercing Set 03
EarthStones Tania Belly Ring

Pretty Mess – qt bb Sweater  (*new* @ N21)
.::Dead Dollz::. Erzbetha Skirt (*new* @ N21)

pose by Foxcity

Be Still

Be Still

Detached sparks and raining blue beams,
Piercing my head again.
Boundless escapades, expressions and abbreviations,
Unable to escape it, I let it all in.

It’s too early, but my mind won’t be still,
Playing tricks on me.
It’s too late, but my heart won’t be still,
Playing tricks on me.

I’ve changed my mind, I don’t want to sleep,
Distract me with your beautiful mind.
Give me purpose, assign me a position
Let’s run from the hands of time.

Come find me when I hide,
Wake me when I play dead.
Push your way inside,
Shine a light in my head

It’s too late, I can’t think
It’s too early, I think

I’ve changed my mind, I need some sleep
Leave me alone with this war
With my battle, my current situation
That’s what the pills are for

written by Sadystika Sabretooth August 10, 2017

in my head

wearing:
-DRD- Wasteland Helmet – Metal Mohawk (*new* @ N21)
hair:  .Shi Hair : Hearken / Unisex . E-Nordic
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
.:E.A.Studio:. BOX Moray Nails -Gloves-Ring Set  (*new* @ Fetish Fair)

pose by Del May

The Work Out

Part 4 of the Grace & Sady Road Trip

We’ve been eating more than our fair share of junk food and drinking for all of Ireland. So, when we happened across a gym, we decided to stop and get in a work out. We were determined to get to the beach eventually and we needed to be fit for those bikinis we packed. It was a small town, so the gym was lacking in luxury equipment, but we managed to go a few rounds with a punching bag as well some weight lifting and some squats. Although, I didn’t know that punching bags hit back. OUCH! Damn near knocked us out…and its from the floor that we did squats as we tried to stand up after we were damn near knocked out. Naturally with Grace’s thunder thighs, she needed a little help getting up, but we’re calling it squats. *nods*
gym2 pt4

I might should mention that we were a little stoned while we were at the gym. Lucky for us, the place was pretty deserted. We were able to flirt with the old guy running the place just long enough for him to snap a few pictures of us. As you can see, we worked up quite a swear. *laughs* He even recommended a place down the road where we’d find some good food and a nice place to relax. I suspect he told us about the food so we’d have to come back to his gym. Ha! I don’t think that’s going to happen!
Go on over to Grace’s blog to read her side of the story and stay tuned for part 5!

gym pt 4

 

Sady is wearing:
hair+Spellbound+ Nocturnal (collaboration w/Bueno)
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
skin: DeeTaleZ *Appliers* CATWA Head “Face Miriam”
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
tattoo: RedFish – Tenta tattoo
collar: [Atomic] Kitten Collar (*new* @N21)
[FORMANAILS] NAILS – SKULL – BENTO – MAITREYA
[Cynful] Star Girl Top – Maitreya Lara (Available at MBA Fair Aug 1st)
[Cynful] Star Girl Pants – Maitreya Lara (Available at MBA Fair Aug 1st)
shoes: #EMPIRE – Ixora

Grace is wearing:
Hair – #Foxy – Hotline Hair
Head – CATWA  – Lona
Body – CATWA – Mesh Body – Lara 4.1
Piercings – SU! – Septum Piercing & Labret Piercing (bento)
Tattoo – Identity – Wild Desire
Swallow – Aphrodite Bento Rings (*new* @ Shiny Shabby)
[Formanails] – Ballerina 2 (maitreya bento)
[Cynful] Star Girl Top – Maitreya Lara (Available at MBA Fair Aug 1st)
[Cynful] Star Girl Pants – Maitreya Lara (Available at MBA Fair Aug 1st)
[Vale Koer] – Tippytoe Chucks

all poses by Foxcity
scene:
Mountem by G – Locker Room Backdrop Mesh
David Heather-Punching Bag/Black

Honky Tonk

Josh and I were attending a Savannah Rain show at Seaside Lounge a while back. We were on voice and Sav started singing Tanya Tucker’s “Love Me Like You Used To.” I got lost down memory lane and told Josh, “This is a true Honky Tonk Song.” Being English, he’s not really familiar with exactly what a Honky Tonk is…so I began to explain it and he insisted that I write it down. So, here it is…

This is one of those songs you play on the jukebox, because there’s not usually a live band unless its Friday or Saturday night. But once in a while on a Monday night, you just get overwhelmed with that bluesy lonely feeling. You crave the dim flickering lights and loud music, being surrounded by people, but not really interacting with them much. You half hope that someone will notice how sad and lonely you are….you half hope they don’t. And then certain songs will simply take you away…you close your eyes to fight the tears as you sing along, as the music is loud enough that no one can hear you anyway. You somehow find some solace in your solitude and in the bottom of a bottle.
Sometimes you go to that particular bar, just hoping you’ll see HIM…as you know he frequents that bar regularly. You remember dancing with him when no one else was dancing. You reminisce about the good times as the tears stream down your face.
Regardless of the reason, you sit alone at the bar and unless you had too many, you leave alone and thankfully a bit more numb. That’s been my experience with Honky Tonks anyway. Yes, its always country music and on weekends its a much livelier place, but weekdays brings out the sad and lonely along with the regulars.

cowgirl

I’d like to add a little note, that not all country music is sad…so you should check out Savannah Rain, she is by far the best live country singer on the grid in my opinion and Seaside Lounge has some great live performances, so be sure to check them out, too. Ya know, when you take a break from shopping and want to show off your pretty new clothes!

wearing:
hairno.match_ ~ NO_POISON
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
skin: DeeTaleZ *Appliers* CATWA Head “Face Miriam”
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
collar: [Atomic] Kitten Collar (*new* @N21)
[FORMANAILS] NAILS – SKULL – BENTO – MAITREYA
.LYBRA . Paige Top Black (maitreya) lace (*new* @N21)
.LYBRA . Paige Top Black (maitreya) solid (*new* @N21)
.LYBRA . Paige skirt Black (maitreya) (*new* @N21)
Maitreya Dahlia Socks
Maitreya Stagioni XTD Leather * Black

pose by Foxcity
uK – Old West Whiskey Saloon RARE

On or Off the Grid?

When I put this scene out for the Make Believe post, I was fantasizing about how nice it might actually be to live off the grid, away from the world, technology, and people. I thought about where would be the ideal place in the world to live such a way as not to get too cold, too hot, too wet, too dry….and then I remembered I’m geographically challenged.
While writing this, I’m dealing with some sort of stomach bug. While rushing to the bathroom and unsure which end something is going to spew from, I’m finding great comfort in knowing the bathroom is less than six feet from my bed. Feeling like four day old road kill, I find that the comfort of my memory foam mattress and pillows combined with 800 thread count sheets and pillowy soft duvet are modern conveniences I’m not ready to give up just yet. I think I’ll leave living off the grid to The Land of Make Believe.

best friend

wearing: 
hair
: [monso]  My Hair – Lena
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara

LYBRA . Dina Top (*new* @ N21)
LYBRA . Dina Pants (*new* @ N21)
REIGN.- JUNE SNEAKERS (*new* @ N21)

pose: FOXCITY.  Bento Ground Sits VOL2 set
scene:
DRD – PA – Makeshift Refuge
JIAN Countryside Collies :: Adult Wanderer RARE
[we’re CLOSED] grass field dry

RBF

I’ve been dealing with RBF, Resting Bitch Face, all my life. I came by it genetically, that’s my excuse anyway. My mother always looked mad unless she was laughing or smiling, even then she had a tight lipped smile. She had dental issues that she was ashamed of. Honestly, I don’t think anyone would have noticed, because her laugh is adorable and her smile is radiant. But hey, we all have something we really hate about ourselves, right? My father was in the U. S. Army for 20 years, so again, very serious and stern face, unless smiling or laughing. Funny thing is I really wanted to have one of those pretty faces that could look at a camera all sultry like, but alas…I,, too, was cursed with RBF! No such luck! I quickly learned that if a camera came out, I had to show an expression or look pissed off. Mostly, I just avoid being in front of the camera in RL, just another thing I love about Second Life. I can do things here that I can never do in the real world. Like NOT having RBF if I don’t want to. *giggles* Then again, its easy enough to have one, too. *grins*

bitchface

wearing: 
hair
: #Foxy – Mai Hair (*new* @ N21)
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
piercing: 1.::GB::Lip piercing (Catwa Kathy) (Cross chain) RARE (*new* @ Shiny Shabby)
.:E.A.Studio:. Era Bracialets (*new* @ Tres Chic)
PM – Fairy Bodysuit BLACK WHITE (*new* @ LootBox)

pose: GingerFish Poses  Red Light Queen 11 poses stand (*new* @ eBENTO)

The Hours Fade

“so the hours fade
something’s got to break
something’s got to change
so the hours fade
something’s got to break
something’s got to change”
The Kays Lavelle ~ The Hours

I haven’t been myself this week. As much as I try, I cannot shake this scrambled feeling. Its as if the reception in my brain is fuzzy. I’ve been emotional to say the least. Sometimes I’m slow to react to situations simply because I need time to process, but this week…I dunno, its like everything has been processing really slow. The ringing in my ears is louder than even and the pain that lives within my body has spiked. These things make it even harder for me to concentrate. Sometimes its all I can do to just sit still.
I’m sure the wonky weather in my area has played a major role in this, but something’s got to change…for I feel I’m going mad. This morning I didn’t even want to get out of bed, but as my coffee sat on my nightstand getting colder I forced myself to get up…come to the PC and write some of this down. I can’t even know if this will make sense to anyone else, but its where I’m at and I’ve found that more often than not…I’m not alone in my feelings. As the hours fade, I hope that this haze, too, will fade and I will get back to feeling more like myself.

scandalize top

wearing: 
hair
/Wasabi Pills/ Apple Mesh Hair
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara

EarthStones Butterfly Necklace & Earrings – Whisper
Scandalize. Juliet. (*new* @ N21)
Blueberry – DWL Classic

pose: FOXCITY. Bento Ground Sits VOL1
location: Hazardous