Don’t Do It! Just Don’t!

I’ve written before about how much I love bikinis in Second Life and one of the reasons is because you wouldn’t catch me dead in one in Real Life! *laughs* I’ll hardly put on a swimsuit at all these days. The last time I went swimming in RL I was stoned and in a friend’s backyard. Why? Because I’m ashamed of my body. I hate it. I am overweight and I have a lot of scars. All it took was one summer at the pool for me to overhear some women laughing and going on about how my fat, pale ass shouldn’t be allowed at the pool. I stayed in the water just kinda hiding in a corner of the pool until they left. I suffered a horrible sunburn, but I didn’t want to hear their ugly remarks again when I got out and I wasn’t going to let them see me cry.
I realize I shouldn’t let people have such power over me, but let it happen to you and let’s see how well you handle it. Good for you if you can handle it better than I did. I envy those that are not bothered by such things. So, in SL I choose to look how I wish I did in RL. Yes, I’d love to be fit…a little thick, I don’t want to be model thin and I’ve got more than enough fat to deal with in RL. Sadly, the fact that we can look however we want in SL, yet still people want to shame each other for how they CHOOSE to look. No one in SL just happens to look that way. No one’s avi is suffering from an eating disorder. The way our avatars look is purely our choice.
I admit that I’ve seen some avatars and just shook my head. I don’t get it. I don’t understand why people choose to look a certain way and yes, perhaps a few comments in IMs with friends, but certainly never anything out loud and to their face. I think that is incomprehensible. Its bullying at its finest. Body shaming in either world is terrible. Its one thing to laugh among your friends at the girl whose butt looks like it at Tokyo or the guy whose eyes are so far apart he looks like an alien, but its entirely different to go up to them and accuse them of mental illness, being sick, or any other degrading remark that makes you feel that your choices are better than theirs. Its actually wrong for us to even make little remarks in IMs, but we are human and its going to happen. You can do it tactfully with your friends quietly or you can keep your mouth shut entirely, but to call someone out for the choices they make about their avatar’s appearance is flat out wrong. Its no different from any other type of hate speech. Its bullying. Period. I cannot stress that enough.
We come here to live a life we can’t live in the real world, at least most of us do. Luckily there are incredible designers to assist us in looking our best, as well. Unlike the real world, where often times the plus size department looks more like someone threw out Grandma’s curtain collection. So, when you find yourself thinking, “WTF?” as you see an avatar that bewilders you, please for the love of humanity, do not approach that person with hatred. If you’ve got nothing nice to say to them, say nothing. Do NOT bully or body shame one another in a virtual world. Don’t Do It! Just Don’t! Think how you’d feel if someone said such things to you or someone you love. Please be kind to one another. There is far too much hate in this world already.

cynful bikini

wearing: 
hair
:  Exile: Fake Magic
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
skin: Glam Affair – Molly – Catwa Mesh Head Applier – America (*new* @ Arcade)
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
Cynful Heat Bikini (June Luxe Box)

pose: Le Poppycock *Stay Cool* First Dip (*new* @ TLC)
scene:
Trompe Loeil – Geonna Patio + Pool PG
Vagabond – Sandy’s Towel Tote
{what next} Palisades Drinks Tray

She Is Real

Today, I’m just sharing a poem I wrote about a little of a year ago. I hope you like it.

She Is Real

She steals my breath
Speeds my heart
Keeps me awake
Just by saying
Hello Baby

She pushes me harder
Lifts me up
Shoves me into life
Just by sharing
Her time

She blinds me
While helping me see
She weakens me
By giving me strength
She calms me
With a surge of life

She

She sends me

She sends me to a place so deep
Even she
Has no idea
Where it takes me

She moves me to the edge of my seat
Shielding me from ridiculous fears
By illuminating my bravery
With her courage
And her strength

She

She steals my words
While forcing my pen to paper
In her honor

She occupies my thoughts
She touches me
She touches my soul
She touches my heart

She

She is real

~Sady

making an entrance

wearing: 
hair
:  RAMA.SALON – Alexandra Hair (*new* @ FaMESHed)
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
skin: Glam Affair – Polly – Catwa Mesh Head Applier – Jamaica (*new* @ Arcade)
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
Cae :: Madison :: Collection (necklace & earrings)
BUENO Clutch – Red
Scandalize. Mina (*new* @ FaMESHed)
#EMPIRE – Snapdragon (June Luxe Box)

pose by FOXCITY Formal VOL1 Bento Set
background: Pseudo– Black Lounge Scene

Family Ties

“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life.” ~Richard Bach
I haven’t started a blog with a quote that wasn’t a song lyric in a while, but this topic has been on my mind for some time now. Father’s Day occurred only two days ago and as I scrolled through Facebook I saw message after message about people’s fathers. Some were well wishes, some shared memories of fathers past, and then there were people like me that avoided the subject altogether. I can’t know why others avoided the subject, but I know why I did. I even had to tell Skype (yes, outloud) to stfu. Skype had a message that said, “Fathers are people, too!” My response was, “Not all of them! Some of them are monsters!” I don’t think its a secret that I’m another girl on the grid with daddy issues. Given how common abusive fathers seem to be, we’re merely statistics.
However, I’m not going to waste this post or your time bitching about my father. Instead, I want to embrace the blessing of family bonding with people I’ve never even met face to face. Like many other people in Second Life, I am part of a family. I don’t always feel like part of the family, as most of them really don’t talk to me much and to be fair, its not like I go out of my way to hunt them down and pursue conversations either. Yet, I do feel like a few of them would truly be there if I needed them.
I think the truest “family” I have on the grid would probably be the cunts. Now, hold on, don’t get your britches twisted, we call ourselves the Cunt Cult and we’re a group of besties. At the core there’s four of us, there’s a fifth one, but she’s off living the real life. (She fell in love! SQUEEEE!) Kess, Tracy, Grace, and I have built a bond unlike that I’ve ever known before. We’re not a clique. We don’t go around doing the whole mean girls thing, dressing alike, following a leader. Although, if we did, Kess would be it…she’s bossy like that. *laughs* My point is…while some of us don’t have traditional families in real life or even partake in family groups on the grid, we have each other. We have that bond between friends that is as strong, if not stronger, than any family ties I’ve ever known. For that, I am grateful.
I have so many circles of wonderful friends inworld that I am so grateful for and I love them each dearly. Though we may not speak every day and some not even every week, we are there for one another when it counts. I’m also grateful for my fur babies in real life, because they are just as much a part of my family as my mother or my husband. Even though they can’t make me coffee in the morning.
So, whatever kind of family ties you have, hold them close, hold them dear to you heart, and don’t wait for some “holiday” to celebrate them. Tell them today that you love them, because none of us are guaranteed a tomorrow.

family

wearing: 
hair
:  Lamb. Home (June Luxe Box)
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
skin: Glam Affair – Polly – Catwa Mesh Head Applier – Jamaica (*new* @ Arcade)
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
UC_Jane_Fringe_mini_dress_slate (*new* @ Kustom9)
#EMPIRE – Wandflower (June VIP Group Gift)

pose by Double Take
location: The Mill 

#SadyOnMyAss

A few months ago I was over the moon, a little confused, and a teensy bit overwhelmed as I was accepted to blog for Phedora. After my first full month of blogging for them, I won blogger of the month! I couldn’t believe it! This came with a monetary prize, as well as them using one of my pics for their flickr cover and I think their Facebook cover, too. I can’t remember about the last one to be sure. However, one of the other prizes was having a design named after me. I was over the moon. There were going to be shoes named Sady!?!?! A couple of months went by and I saw nothing. I had forgotten all about it until one day, Niki Demonix (wife of Lucifer…seriously) was winding the Phedora VIPs up about the WIP and what was coming to Kustom9, I jokingly asked if it was something fabulous named after me. Imagine my surprise when Niki sends me an IM with a gyazo showing me the edit box on a WIP that read Sadystika panties!!!!! WHAT?!?! Yes!
As crazy excited as I was to hear about this, she then begins a campaign with a hashtag: #sadyonmyass

So, if you’re scrolling through Facebook and noticing that hashtag, you can blame Niki. *laughs* I am finding it rather amusing and I do hope you’ll love the set as much as I do. Feel free to use the hashtag or not, but make sure you check it out, because this set is gorgeous!

Around the same time that this set came out, my best friend, Tracy Weston of GingerFish poses, released her top secret collaboration project for eBento. Its an astounding build called Red Light Queen. Its so big in face, that in order to show you the panties I could really only show you one of the poses inside one of the doors. She does have a full scale demo at the event, so if you love photography…if you love naughty pictures…this is a must have set. You will see it again on my blog, of that you can be sure!

Snapshot_036

wearing: 
hair
:  TETRA – Pineapple Hair (FLF June 16, 2017)
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
skin: Glam Affair – Polly – Catwa Mesh Head Applier – Jamaica (*new* @ Arcade)
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara

Phedora ~ Sadystika Set  (*new* @ Kustom9)

pose & scene: GingerFish Poses – Red Light Queen (*new* @ eBENTO)

Devil in Me

“I don’t wanna wake it up
I don’t wanna wake it up
I don’t wanna wake it up
The devil in me”
Halsey- Devil in Me

Have you ever met someone that just brings out the worst in you? They might not have done anything to you, but for some reason there’s just this instant dislike of them? It happens to me from time to time and I’m hoping I’m not the only one. Maybe I’m just the only one willing to admit it. Surely not. When I do meet people like that, I try to be polite and just keep my distance. So, its not really a problem.
Then there’s those people that just run around doing all kinds of dirt to other people. They haven’t done anything to me, that I know of, but I’m not trying to get close to people like that either, but then they go and do something really nasty to someone you love. *sighs* Its really hard to keep my mouth shut in situations like that. I know I should trust the person who has been offended to take care of themselves and most of the time I do. However, in case I never mentioned it before…I happen to be human and with that comes some faults. I know, I know, you thought I was perfect. *laughs* Let me tell you now…there are times when its all I can do to keep myself in check. I’m not talking about threatening someone online. I’m talking about just reading a bitch like a book. Front to back, side to side, up and down…and I’ve been told on a few occasions my words can cut deeper than any knife. Having lost more than one friend in the past to my apparently razor sharp words I really don’t wanna wake up the devil in me.

releasing the demon

wearing: 
hair
.Shi x Messiah : Hair / Unisex . Common 2
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
eyes: CATWA Mesh Eyes Pack w/:Conviction: Viscous Eyes [HUD]
eyeshadow-SU!– Somber Eyeshadow +CATWA APPLIER+
lipstick: -SU!- The Matte Lip Essentials //Catwa BENTO//
skin: Glam Affair – Molly – Catwa Mesh Head Applier – Artic (*new* @ Arcade)
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
tattoo.::Nanika::. Gaia tattoo Black (*new* @ Tres Chic)
piercing.:E.A.Eclipse:.  Nerfertiti Piercing Mouth

Phedora ~ Edwin body harness (*new* @ Somber)
S&P Like A Prayer – clamps black
[CX] Piton Pumps – Black ( Maitreya )

pose by Del May

The Ugliest Thing I Could Find

So, the tie dye pattern on this Migle dress from United Colors reminded me of one of my favorite shirts when I was about 18. There’s actually a funny story about that shirt. My parents got divorced when I was 15, for the first year my mom cried almost every night. After that she went a little wild. She was going on trips quite regularly, but being the awesome mom that she was, she would always bring me a present. Being the mom with awful taste meant I wasn’t going to like it if it was clothing. Then lo and behold she returned from a trip with the most awesome looking black and white tie dyed shirt I had ever seen. It wasn’t even a tee shirt, it was like a wicked blouse! I was so shocked and happy. As I’m standing there hugging the shirt, then holding it up, then ripping off my current shirt to try it on, my mom is standing there laughing so hard she has tears running down her face. Naturally, I had to know what was so damn funny, right?
She wiped the tears from her face and asked if I really liked the shirt. I nodded profusely, “Yes! I love it, Momma! Thank you. I can’t believe you picked this out, though.”
She laughed again for a minute then said, “Well, you never like anything I pick out, so I just looked around the shop for the ugliest thing I could find. You’re welcome.”
Damn woman. We still have opposing taste in most things, but she’s gotten a lot better at picking out gifts over the years. *laughs* Even if she thinks they’re ugly.

shade

 

wearing: 
hair
Tableau Vivant \\ Caprice hair (*new* @ SL14)
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
tattoo: .::Nanika::. Scarlet tattoo Black

UC_Migle_dress (*new* @ SouledOut)
fri. – Dora Sandals (*new* @ Uber)

pose by an lar [poses] The Betty Series (*new* @ Vintage Fair)

location…well, I can’t tell you that, it was at a friend’s beach…sorry, not sorry

Lost on the Dock

When I shot this photo my main objective was to show off some more of the amazing creations you’ll find at the Vintage Fair and various other events across the grid. Okay, done. Then I though about what to write and I spent over an hour on YouTube looking for the perfect song, but nothing quite resonated with the photo. So, I decided to just ramble. Yep, That’s right…I’m going to ramble on about absolutely nothing. How long will you read these words about me writing about nothing? *laughs* I can’t imagine you’ll last too long, unless you a glutton for meaningless words. My mind is just all over the place this morning and I can’t even settle on a topic. Its Friday and I have so much to do in both world that my my is just spinning with ideas, but none of them will land…so, that’s all. Yep, I’m all out of deep thoughts this morning. Hell, I can barely get a regular thought to sit still and there’s no time for a nap today. I wish you all a fantastic weekend though. ♥

dock of the bay

wearing: 
hair
[e] Mabel (*new* @ Vintage Fair)
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
tattoo: .::Nanika::. Spring is coming White

MANIK QUEEN – Betty Babes Glasses – Plain (*new* @ Vintage Fair)
Cae :: Sydney :: Earrings (*new* @ FaMESHed)
Cae :: Sydney :: Bracelets (*new* @ FaMESHed)
#187# Summer Beach Bag – Marine
JIAN Countryside Collies :: Companion Pup Sable

Scandalize. Sandra. (*new* @ Vintage Fair)
fri. – Nellie Sandals (*new* @ Arcade)

BOAT: BBX – Mary

[pose was sort of a combination of the hold pose in the bag and my ao, just captured it at the right moment (after about 20 shots)…the location is a friend’s house, but the boat was on loan from another friend]