To AraCakes with Love

I grew up listening to my mom telling stories about hanging out at the soda fountain at the pharmacy after school. The closest thing I had to that was my last two years of high school, we’d all park at Corner Grocery, which was really a Texaco station, get drunk and dance in the gravel parking lot. The owners were super cool and didn’t mind us being there as we bought drinks, snacks, cigarettes, and occasionally talked someone into buying us alcohol. Plus, the store isn’t likely to get robbed with a group of teens hanging out next to it. Those were good times, but I always wondered what it must have been like to sit on a stool at an actual soda fountain. God knows with the heat in my part of the world, I’d love to sit in a sweet shop with a good old fashioned milk shake right about now. We had a really cute little shop for a while called Just Desserts where you’d get a piece of cake the size of your head and pay about $6usd for it, but it was literally too rich for my blood. That’s the problem I find with most American desserts anyway, too sweet. I grew up on European desserts and as decadent as they looked, they were the perfect balance of flavors without being too sweet.
So, anyway, you might be wondering about the title and what that has to do with what I’ve written. Well, I’ll tell you, absolutely nothing. This post is just a little wink to Miss AraCakes, a wonderful and shy friend of mine that is the only one that gets away with calling me Cupcake. I know by writing that you’ll all try it now and I’m warning you, the nickname is reserved for Ara only, so when I ignore you…you’ll know why, cuz you fuckers ain’t gonna steal her special pet name for me! *sticks her tongue out*

SadyCakes

wearing:
hair
little bones. Estine (*new* @ C88)
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
tattoo.:::G.ID:::. Charlotte Tattoo (*new* @ Vintage Fair)

Cae :: Sydney :: Necklace (*new* @ FaMESHed)
:::NOIR::: Infinite Bracelets (*new* @ FaMESHed)
**RE** Dark Queen Rings – Bento 2.0
Astralia – Compatible nails system (Maitreya Stiletto base)
GingerFish -Nail Applier-Astralia-Bloody Kisses
LYBRA . Natalia (*new* @ SouledOut)
[Gos] Boutique – Gigi Sandals (*new* @ FaMESHed)

pose by Del May Poses

scene:
RAMA – #selfie_RAMA Iron Wall
[Merak] – Milkshake Sign (*new* @ Vintage Fair)
[Merak] – Bakery Sign (*new* @ Vintage Fair)
[Merak] – Cupcake Sign (*new* @ Vintage Fair)
[Merak] – Cupcake Box (*new* @ Vintage Fair)
[Merak] – Milkshake Love (*new* @ Vintage Fair)
[Merak] – Retro Bakery Bar (*new* @ Vintage Fair)
[Merak] – Retro High Chair(green) (*new* @ Vintage Fair)

The 3F Rule

“I can swear, I can joke
I say what’s on my mind
If I drink, if I smoke
I keep up with the guys
And you see me holding up my middle finger to the world
Fuck your ribbons and your pearls
‘Cause I’m not just a pretty girl”
Maggie Lindemann – Pretty Girl

My mother was raised in a strict Christian home by a single mom that was too proud to accept charity of any kind, thus she worked three jobs to keep the bills paid. Yet, somehow never missed church or disciplining her daughters by reminding them to carry themselves a certain way. Afterall, what would people think? My father was raised in a very abusive home and was often hidden away from the public by his single mom. She would lock him in the basement on weekends so that she could pretend she only had two children, whose father had died during WWII. (Mind you he died in prison, not the war, but she conveniently left that part of the story out.) My father’s dad had left when he was only 3yrs old to pursue his drinking and drug addictions. Eventually my father joined the U.S. Army, where once again, life was all about appearances.
Needless to say, my parents expected me to behave a certain way. They taught me how to converse with adults politely, then disappear, as children were meant to be seen, not heard. My parents finally divorced when I was in high school and my mother was so beside herself with grief that she quit imposing so many rules on me. That was when I began to develop my own style and discover the person I wanted to be. I didn’t want to cater to society’s norms. I wanted to in the exit door and leave through the entrance. I wanted to wear short skirts over leggings with ripped tee shirts and wild hair.
For years, my mother tried to make me a princess. She wanted to decorate my room with ruffles and canopy beds. I wanted my mattress on the floor with tons of pillows. She quickly became very much like her own mother and repeatedly said to me, “What will people think?”
I didn’t care what people thought! If they didn’t know me, how could they have a proper impression of me? Based on my clothes? The color of my skin? The color of my hair? My eyes? Eventually I discovered the 3F rule and I’ve pretty much lived my life that way ever since.
The 3F rule is simple: If you are not Feeding me, Financing me, or Fucking me….you get no say in how I live my life and your opinion means nothing to me. I was never going to be what my mother wanted me to be, nor did I want to. Yes, she was feeding me and financing me at the time, but she still needed to let me be me…or there would be a fight. There were many of those over the years until she realized she was never going to win. I was not going to be this super feminine little princess that sat around waiting for some prince charming, because I learned early on…you can never truly know another person. The only person you can truly know is yourself and that’s the person you should be true to.

The 3F Rule

hair.:EMO-tions.. *PAOLA* (*new* @ Vintage Fair)
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara

.LYBRA . SADIE (*new* @ FaMESHed)

pose by GingerFish Poses
background: RAMA – #selfie_RAMA Circles Studio

If I Have an Angel

I was born on a Sunday morning. My devote Christian grandmother told my mom that it meant I would have extra angels looking over me. As I was not a particularly graceful child (or adult for that matter) my mother would often say, “Your angels are working overtime today!” As I got older and continued to be anything but graceful, my mother would beg my extra angels to look after me and to have mercy on her. *laughs* I see a lot of memes with angels facepalming that say something about how people’s angels must look watching over them. Every time I see one, I just chuckle. My grandmother passed away when I was eleven. My mother insisted that she joined the ranks of angels looking over me. What occurred in my life the following year was confirmation that there were no angels watching over me.
As I grew older, I would sometimes imagine that there were still a few angels lingering about and just maybe they were dosing out some karma on those that crossed me, but eventually I grew to believe that wasn’t true either. I know some people do believe in angels and I have to say I think its a beautiful sentiment, but for me…nah, I don’t believe in them anymore. However, the concept of angels has always been quite fascinating. I especially love the way they are represented on Supernatural. I realize not all of my readers have seen that show and some may have just started it, so I won’t go into any details and spoil it. The entire concept of God, angels, Lucifer, demons…all of it…ages old, but the way the stories are told on Supernatural almost makes me want to believe in them again. At least that story makes a bit more sense to me, but alas to believe their story means I must also believe in all the monster presented, as well.

angry angel

For now, I’ll just present you with this picture and the thought that if I have an angel watching over me, this is what I think my angel probably looks like…sometimes she is stunned and pointing her finger at me as if to say, “You did it AGAIN!” She would surely be angry and frustrated to say the very least.

lost angel close up

hairTableau Vivant \\ Editorial \ Southern wind – Blacks+Whites
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
skinGlam Affair – Molly – Catwa Mesh Head Applier – Artic (*new* @ Arcade)
eyesCATWA Mesh Eyes Pack
eye applier:Conviction: Viscous Eyes
tearsCURELESS [+] Dragon Tears (v.1)
ears: .:E.A.Studio:. Box Ears Icarus
eyebrowsWarPaint* Hepburn Brow [Catwa] (*new* @ Vintage Fair)
lipstick-SU!– The Matte Lip Essentials
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
tattoo**RE** Surya Tattoo – Common – Silver
nails: Astralia – Compatible nails system (Maitreya Stiletto base)
nail polish: GingerFish-Nail Applier-Astralia- Fairy Glitter-S

.:E.A.Studio:. BOX Collar Oculus Cross
Astralia – Wisdom angel WINGS RARE
.LYBRA . GABRIELLA (*new* @ LIMIT8)
erratic / cerise – panties
#EMPIRE – Impatiens

pose by Del May

scene created in a black box using:
uk – Mystic Dew Drops & Mist Sets
E.V.E Dancing Poison Rain {Silver}

Haunted Hallway

I was talking about the different types of abuse I endured as a kid the other day. It wasn’t really one of those emo conversations, but more about which types of abuse seem to have left the deepest scars. For me personally, it was the physical or sexual abuse. It was the verbal, emotion, and mental abuse. There was a hallway in my house that had two doors on either side and to this day I have nightmares about that hallway. Why? Because it was there that I was scarred the most. Passing my father in the hallway only to hear him mutter insults repeatedly throughout every single day. This went on long after the physical and sexual abuse ended. In fact, it got worse. I think we all know too well how insults and negative statements tend to linger…to weigh heavier than the positive. I wish I could change that. I wish I could believe the good things people say as much, if not more, than the bad.
Perhaps if we are kinder to one another, more complimentary towards one another…we can avoid haunted hallways and instead step out into the sun. May we embrace the rays of positive words and leave the negative remarks…the hate…the abuse…behind us…in the dark.

lybra

wearing:
hairMINA – Indy
head: CATWA HEAD Kathy
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skinGlam Affair – Polly – Catwa Mesh Head Applier – Jamaica (*new* @ Kustom9)

LYBRA . VIVIEN TAUPE (*new* @ Shiny Shabby)

pose by Di’s Opera

backdrop: /anxiety/ local (*new* @ Shiny Shabby)

Just Love ♥

It’s officially Valentine’s Day. Yep, the day that some people are forced into expressing their love for each other. The day others rejoice in their love. The day that some feel is just another corporate holiday designed to make us shop. For some, its the loneliest day of the year. While I could not let Valentine’s Day pass without doing a post with Josh, I think its safe to say we’re more than mushy enough on a normal day. So, I won’t be passing out puke buckets and going on and one about how much I adore this wonderful man in my life. I will say that its a been a very very very long time since I’ve been this happy and I honestly don’t know that I’ve ever been loved quite like this. No relationship is perfect and we both bring more than our share of baggage to the table, hell…we drove full speed into each other with moving trucks. I kid you not, but somehow we make beautiful music together. That’s all I’ll say about us…in this post. *grins*

artistry2

What I want to say about today, is that its a day about love. Not just couples in love, but love for each other and above all else, love for ourselves. I’ve been joking on my friend Troy since yesterday, because he did one of those facebook quizes that said he should ask himself to be his Valentine’s. Of course, given who Troy is and who his friends are…well…you can imagine all the dirty thoughts THAT inspired. However, it really got me to thinking about the age old adage, “You cannot truly love another until you love yourself.”
So, for this Valentine’s Day I want you all to go to the biggest mirror you have in your home, look yourself in the eyes and say, “I love you.” Even if you don’t mean it, I want you to say it, because YOU are worthy. No matter what you think of yourself, someone out there loves you.  There’s no argument for this, because there are even people who love the likes of Charles Manson (and if you don’t know who that is, we can’t be friends)….so if Charles Manson is lovable…well, so are you. Go on, love yourself. Buy yourself something nice. Tell your friends and family you love them, too. We never know when one life will end and another will begin, so don’t wait. Reach out and love…love yourself, your neighbor, you co-workers (yes, even that one)…JUST LOVE. ♥

Sady is wearing:
hair: #Foxy – Regan. (*new* @ C88)
head: CATWA HEAD Catya
eyes: CATWA Mesh Eyes w/-SU!– [CATWA & OMEGA HUD] Xenira Eyes ALL COLORS
skinL’Etre Skin Shop – Megan Skin [Cotton Tone]
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
hands: -VA-VISTA BENTO

**RE** Simone Heart Collar
.LYBRA . KNOTS BODYSUIT BLACK (*new* @ Fetish Fair)
-SECRETS- Bianca Rings – Black (*new* @ Crossroads)
[MODA] CALLISTA CORSET PLATFORMS (fetish fair)

Sady’s poses: Bauhaus Movement

Josh is wearing:
hairDOUX – Angel hairstyle [Brunettes] (*new* @ TMD)
head: CATWA HEAD Daniel w/STRAY DOG – KENICHI CATWA – BUTTERMILK
beard[i.mesh] – Beard#1 BROWN/stub. appliers for CATWA heads
skin: L’Etre Homme – Omega Body Appliers [Buttermilk]
body:Slink Physique Male Mesh Body
hands: -VA-M-VISTA BENTO PROHAND SLINK MALE

DAPPA – Pharaoh Tattoo
**RE** Savage Ears Piercings
[ kunst ] – Devon bracelet (*new* @ Uber)
^^Swallow^^ Fuckoff Ring (group gift)
//Ascend// Johny Casual Pants – Black
/Ascend/ Kaii Waist Tied Jacket – Black (*new* @ TMD)
[VALE KOER] TACTICAL FLIP BOOTS

Josh’s poses are in the chair

scene:
set up in uK – Industrial Loft
7mad;Ravens Artists Do It Better
uK – DJ Dead Chair Red
uK – Play Hard The Old Bag-Blue
uK – BadAxe Red
[NO CONCEPT] musical note pendant3(silver)
uk – BadAxe Black
Kalopsia – Flying Paper
[NO CONCEPT] musical note pendant2(silver)
uK – DJ Dead Chair Grey
7 – RX9-1000 Boombox Keyboard
Bazar– Stockholm-Music tapes
uK – Studded Foot Rest Grey
Bazar– Paris – Wine set
[ kunst ] – Ashtray v3 / Marble #4
uK – Play Hard Round Cards
floorplan. jack’s scattered manuscript
Bazar– Paris – Wine bottle spilled

Princess Sady

Once upon a time, in a land not so far away…ok, so it was my virtual backyard! Back to the story, stop interrupting. *winks*
*clears her throat* Once upon a time, on sim not so far away, lived a simple little shopping junkie by the name of Sady. One unsuspecting day she was presented a magical garment by the queen of glamour, Cynthia Ultsch from the land of Cynful, where upon magical things began to happen. Her hair grew long and luxurious as she was touched by the Hairy God Mother aka Lilly Herberg.

cynful-phoenix-c884

Suddenly, she was a princess and deer from far and wide…okay, from all over the sim…came to her, seeking protection. Protection from what you ask? Well, you see there were some very evil hunters across the grid…they were savages and known for their grilling of all things marvelous like cute little goats and even Santa Claus! Yes, truly evil hunters…*nods*…like totally, really bad.
Knowing the deer were depending on her new powers and regal beauty, duh, to keep the hunters at bay, she threw up hands, both left and right, as the hunters approached and said, “Nay, farewell thee, felonious Felicias…your kind are not welcome here. Be gone.”

cynful-phoenix-c883

Just like that and with a power much like that of Darth Vadar, a force was whipped across the land keeping the evil hunters at bay….ok, they were ban lines and they were sent back to their corner of the sim…would you please stay with me and stop being so literal…sheesh. Can’t a girl tell a fairy tale in a virtual world of make believe? *giggles* The point is they went away and as they returned to their corner of the grid with their proverbial tails tucked between their chubby little thighs (I’m so dead.) she flipped them the sweetest little bird she ever did flip, “Ciao!”

cynful-phoenix-c882

And the lovely deer lived safely ever after…well, until Sady logged out and Grace came back to claim her escaped venison. -_-

You can write your very own fairy tale by exploring all the goodies at Collabor88 and the various other awesome events going on around the grid.♥

hair: :::Phoenix::: Tiana Hair (*new* @ Collabor88)
head: CATWA HEAD Catya
eyes: CATWA Mesh Eyes w/-SU!– [CATWA & OMEGA HUD] Xenira Eyes ALL COLORS
skinL’Etre Skin Shop – Megan Skin [Cotton Tone]
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara

!:LYBRA:! Karina Tiara 
EF:
Fortuna Full Set [earrings/bracelets/necklace] (*new* @ FaMESHed)
[Cynful] Regality Corset Set (*new* @ Collabor88)

poses: GingerFish Poses  – Ciao
scene:
uK – Fairy Realm Gazebo (*new* @ FaMESHed)
JIAN :: White Tail Deer
Roses by *~Aphrodite  Shop~*
=EliBaily= Ivy
E.V.E Dancing Hearts (*new* @ We ❤ Role-Play)
*alirium* DwarfForest

Between the Lines

“Everything good, I deem too good to be true
Everything else is just a bore
Everything I have to look forward to
Has a pretty painful and very imposing before”
~Fiona Apple O’Sailor

I’ve been battling a lot of personal demons the last year and a half. Its been a helluva journey, not always good, not always bad, but one thing is for sure, none of it was easy. Not even the good times were easy, because I find most good things in my life too good to be true. I suppose I’m not so different from most people I know in that we’ve all had our share of trials and tribulations, particularly the last few years.I’m pretty sure its this commonalities of these journeys that have bonded me with a close knit of amazing and beautiful women.

do-you-see-what-i-see1

Much like most people, I am as confused by betrayal as I am hurt. Without some explanation, I’m left to read between the lines…to overthink….to battle my inner demons. I do my best to put on a mask of happiness, but my darkness often seeps through and I don’t always want to fight. As my friend Psyche says, “I like to cuddle my demons.” There are times that I think its actually healthier to let them out to play than keep them trapped inside where they can cause more damage. They’re as much a part of me as any joy or hope that lives within me. So, from time to time…I set them loose and while this often gets me in trouble…well…so goes life, yeah? Well, so goes my life.

do-you-see-what-i-see_002

My inner demons certainly had fun putting this look together and I’m quite sure you can find a look for your inner demons, too. So, take your demons shopping and let them help you find a wicked look for when they want to come out to the play…*grins*…Psyche and I can’t be the only ones cuddling our demons.
Don’t worry, be mischievous.  😈

wearing:
hair: *~*Damselfly*~*Ivey Partial-Rigged Mesh Tuxedo
hairbase[Hipster Style] Roy Hairbase WHITE
head: CATWA HEAD Catya
eyes: CATWA Mesh Eyes w/-SU!– [CATWA & OMEGA HUD] Xenira Eyes ALL COLORS
skin: [theSkinnery] Fleur (Catwa Applier) honey (*new* @ Shiny Shabby)
eyeshadow: –SU!– Somber Eyeshadow +CATWA APPLIER+
lipstick: ::SG:: Gelly Lips for CATWA Heads ONLY!
horns: .:E.A.Studio:. Horns (*new* @ Fetish Fair)
ears: .:E.A:.Studio Ears Elf Dior (*new* @ Fetish Fair)
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara

CODEX_GODRIC VEIL (*new* @ Fetish Fair)
**RE** Simone Heart Collar
LYBRA . CINDY BLACK (*new* @ Kinky Event)

poses by Del May
backdrop: [Bad Unicorn] 02 Hype-Beast Backdrop