Super Useful Info

So, from time to time, I see people on Facebook and Flickr asking a pretty consistent set of questions. If I was establishing some sort of customer service or website, I suppose I’d say FAQs. Yeah, that’s actually pretty accurate, because that’s exactly what they are: frequently asked questions. First let me say, I do not believe in anyway that I’m truly providing new information to anyone that even reads my blog. However, I thought that since I keep seeing these same questions…and I just so happen to know some answers, that perhaps I could give one page to find them all quickly and simply. *laughs* You see, I’ve got a lot of information floating around in this crazy head of mine and even I can’t remember shit without asking. I could blame age or drugs, but less face it…we’re all human. So, I’m just gonna jump right in. You can click directly on the logos to go the pages listed.

Wondering what events are going on right now that you might not know about?
Go to Seraphim. That is also your goto page for some of the biggest and most popular monthly events like FaMESHed, UBER, Collabor88, Shiny Shabby, Kustom9, N21, Cosmo, ON9….you get the point. There are tons of events going on at all times. You’d actually be surprised at what you might find at some of the smaller, more obscure events. I’m not going to give examples of those. LOL. The bigger the event, the easier they are to find, but Seraphim covers a ton of stuff. Explore the site sometime. It might surprise you, plus its fun to see what the quotes at the top of the pages will change to. *grins*
So…. Seraphim …goto for shopping events.

Do you miss shopping at the mainstores? Sick of the lag or battle to get into a big event, but you really want to shop? Don’t care for the latest theme at your favorite event? Wish there was a way to know which stores are having sales, new group gifts, and/or new releases in the store? Go to MAINSTORE SL.  This is a page full of amazing finds and you’ll be amazed at the number of great items being released in the mainstores!
So….MAINSTORE SL for all things mainstore related.

Are you looking for bloggers for your store? Just want to check out some blogs? Looking for places to take pictures? Thinking about being a blogger, but you’re not sure. Well, everything you need to know about blogging, from stores that are looking to places to take pictures….even classes and seminars to help you learn more about blogging can be found on the Blogging & Vlogging Network site. There’s even a group inworld that you can join for free. This is a must join group if you’re already a blogger. Regardless of what you enjoy in SL, the BVN site will astound you with its wealth of information.
So….BVN for all things blogger related.

Do you love magazines? Do you like learning about the various designers, scriptors, creators, bloggers, etc? Curious about events and event owners, what goes on behind the scenes? Love looking at professional photos of various designs? Well, there are several magazines across the grid, but Eclipse is by far one of my personal favorites and its chock full of interesting articles, beautiful photos, and monthly features. It’s all about the latest styles for both men and women. This is a lifestyle magazine of what’s going on around the grid. Who knows you might just discover something new and exciting to do, as well. Unlike a regular paper magazine, Eclipse is online and there are links in the magazine that will take you directly to the store, blog, webpage, etc.
So….Eclipse Magazine for all the latest lifestyle info around the grid.

Simon Says

hair: :::Phoenix::: Riley *NEW*
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery]  Iris (Catwa Applier) toffee (*new* @ C88)
tattoo: [ATI] Rita (*new* @ Applique)
:::NOIR::: Infinite Bracelets
(Yummy) Gardenia Rings (*new* @ C88)
LYBRA . EDIE (*new* @ Uber)

pose: FOXCITY. Surface Set
[Bad Unicorn] The Mansion Backdrop (FATPACK ONLY) *NEW*




Flickr Etiquette

I just want to touch on a few things about Flickr that I think people either don’t understand, don’t appreciate, or forgot the whole point. We share our photos and hope for the best, right? Hopefully, someone, anyone will like our work. Some of us use it as a place to store photos rather than take up valuable space on our PCs. Regardless of the reason, its a site made for sharing photos. So, I just wanted to touch on a few things that have crossed my mind and occasionally irritate me and/or others.

Awards-Some groups insist on them, some encourage, some don’t care. I’ve actually heard people complain about getting them or feeling forced to give them. I personally don’t give awards unless I’m simply in the mood. However, whenever someone takes the time to paste an award code on one of my photos, I make sure to show my gratitude by replying with a heart or a group thank you. It shows that you appreciate the love shown for your photos. Its about being humble. They didn’t have to do that, no one holds a gun to their head.
I hear people bitching about how some people have more followers than they follow. I don’t know about you, but I don’t just auto follow. I do tend to follow my bloggers and anyone whose work I really enjoy. However, if their timeline looks like nothing but snapshots or the photos aren’t good or its just over the top pornographic crap….I am NOT going to follow them, whether they follow me or not. I, also, don’t go checking to make sure every person I follow is following me back. I’m honored that anyone follows me. However, just because someone chose to follow me does not mean I owe it to them to follow them back. Nor do I expect anyone I follow to automatically follow me back. I think that’s ridiculous and insincere. I want people to follow me, because they like what I do.
One thing that aggravates the hell out of me and just about every photographer I know, is when someone uses one of my photos on their timeline. Regardless of why, it gives the appearance that they took the photo and they didn’t. It’s essentially stealing. If you want to share a collection of photos from around the site, use a gallery or a group. There are tons of youtube video tutorials to help you figure out how to navigate groups and galleries.
I think we’ve all looked at Flickr at some point and saw someone with crazy high views and/or favs, but their photos are meh at best. We can’t figure out how or why…they might have more or less followers, its just a mystery. How the hell did they do that and why aren’t our numbers higher? This I cannot even begin to answer. What I do know is that we need to let it go and stop worrying about what kinds of favs and views other people get. We need to focus on ourselves, our own work, and stop comparing ourselves to others, especially based on numbers.
The bottom line is this. No matter how good your photos are; no matter how could you think they are; no matter how popular you may or may not be…you should be grateful that ANYONE takes the time to look at your photos of a virtual world, much less takes the time to actually fav, comment, or paste an award. It’s call gratitude and we all should have some.
So, there’s my two cents on the whole Flickr thing. You can view my flickr by clicking on the photo below and by all means, you are all welcome to leave your flickr links in the comments below. Who knows, you might discover someone new or someone new might discover you. ♥

storm within

head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery]  Iris (Catwa Applier) toffee (*new* @ C88)

pose by Del May

MudHoney Larson Fireplace – White
JIAN :: Wolf (Static – Howl)


There’s a poem by Maya Angelou, Caged Bird. Its one of those poems that sat on my chest like a 20lb cat. It weighed so heavily on my heart that is almost felt as though I were being crushed. I love the contrast of the free bird versus the caged bird. The free bird hasn’t the worries or restrictions of the caged bird. Yet, the caged bird chooses to sing anyway. The caged bird sings of hope, dreams, and fantasies. It is those songs that keeps the caged bird moving forward in its limited space. While the free bird might sing, I imagine the songs are hollow and not nearly as beautiful as the “fearful trill.”
Obviously the poem is not literally about birds. Its symbolism in its purest form really. Yet, it still makes me think. It takes my mind in so many directions. Not just the original meaning, but about each of us as individuals. How often do we cage ourselves? And for what reason? I spend more than 50% of my day in my bedroom, as my computer is in here, my smart tv, my bed…all my favorite comforts of home. Why? Though I sit in front of a window, there is nothing keeping me locked in here. So, why don’t I go outside more? Granted, I don’t like the people around here too much, but no one is forcing me to speak to anyone when I leave my house. I’ve even been to jail and I remember how badly I craved the fresh air, a natural breeze. How I longed to hear the rustling of leaves and the songs of birds….even the laughter of those little demon spawns people call children. *grins*
I’ve gotten too comfortable in my little cage of comforts. I’ve become complacent and in most 12 step programs there’s a common saying about complacency being a red light indicator. In other words, when we become too comfortable…too complacent in our lives, we are setting ourselves up for bad decision making and that’s never been more true in my life. I’ve made some very poor decisions in the last few months. Acting out (mostly in SL) in ways that I never have before and its time for me to stop. I’ve already reduced my blogging load by focusing more on fashion and less on home decor. Yet, I still find myself sitting at this desk focused far more on my blog than on my real life.
I am not a religious person by a long shot, but Easter is about Christ being reborn, right? Well, I think I’ll borrow a page from the Bible and use Easter as a form of rebirth of my own. I’m going to cut back a bit more on the blog and I’m going to be leaving my house for five days on Easter weekend. I’m going to see my darling Nikole. This will be the second time we’ve met in real life, but it’ll be my first time visiting her at her house. I’m super excited about the trip and I’m about to embrace some really positive changes in my life. I will no longer be caged by my own hands.


hair: #12 {Limerence} Sammy hair-Blonds (*new* @ Imaginarium)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery]  Iris (Catwa Applier) toffee (*new* @ C88)
tattoo: [ATI] Mai.. (*new* @ TWE12VE)
LYBRA  . SADYSTIKA (*new* @ Whore Couture)
_CandyDoll_ Gina Heels (*new* @ FaMESHed)

pose:  FOXCITY. Wild & Free Bento Pose Set

FOXCITY. K-POP Star 2 – Ringa Linga (Rez) (3) RARE (*new* @ Arcade)
Fapple– The little slave bed
Fapple– BDSM Tool Box



“C’mere, I want to tell you something,” she said as she crawled across the bed towards him. She curled her finger to motion him closer. As he moved closer, thinking he was about to get a kiss, she whispered, “I don’t give a fuck.”
He stood up, a look of shock washed over his face, “What the…”
She laughed, stood up and grabbed her purse and phone.
He was thoroughly confused as she walked out the door, until he walked around to the side of the bed she’d been standing on and saw two condom wrappers on the floor.

Come Hither

hair: pr!tty – Sury (*new* @ TCF)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery]  Saska (Catwa Applier) honey
LYBRA . JULY (*new* @ BLUSH)
Phedora ~ Porchia heels ~ Maitreya RARE (*new* @ Arcade)

pose: GingerFish Poses – Dirty Pretty Set (*new* @ Whore Couture)

tarte. stargazer floor bed (night)

BUENO-After Hours Loft Building -Decay (*new* @ FaMESHed)
BUENO-Mulder Loft Building-Decay


Watching Me

There’s something about knowing you’re being watched, but they don’t know you know. Perhaps it’s just me, I mean, I know can’t be the only that feels that way or the song below wouldn’t have become so damn popular. Once upon I couldn’t stand the idea of anyone watching me…..and to be perfectly honest, I’m still not a fan of that in RL. However, believe it or not, I used to get embarrassed in SL.
Then along came a very handsome and interesting neighbor. I discovered his crosshairs on me and realized I didn’t have the privacy set on my land. Instead of setting it, I gave him a show. *laughs* Funny thing is, we’ve been close friends ever since, but we’ve yet to mess around. I say, yet, cuz stranger things have happened.

for you
So much left unspoken
Between the two of us
It’s so much more exciting
To look when you can touch
You could say I am different
And maybe I’m a freak
But I know how to twist ya
To bring you to your knees

Cruel is wearing:
body: [SIGNATURE] Geralt – Mesh Body  *NEW*
tattoo: [ATI] Nightmare…
5.::GB:: Color denib pants / Black

Sady is wearing:
hair:  [RA] Katia Hair (*new* @ WhoreCouture)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery]  Saska (Catwa Applier) honey
LYBRA . MISA  (*new* @ FaMESHed)
{Nena} Pantyhose v1

pose created with AnyPose
FOXCITY. K-POP Star 2. (2) So Crazy (Common) (*new* @ Arcade)


Generic Post

The latest round of Uber is too fun. There’s a theme this month and its MOD. Oh my goodness, so many cute things. So, I’m sharing three with you today. We’ve got the Lamb hair that comes in two sizes, just in case you got a fat head. *giggles* The style hud offers three styles and each is as cute as the next. Then you’ve got the Bueno Grace top, I just don’t know how anyone could just settle on one. With just a peek of under boob, its sexy enough to make you feel sassy, but nothing is revealed, so you can wear it anywhere. Fortunately for me, I was able to match this up with the new Fina skirt from LYBRA that’s over at ULTRA. The asymmetrical hemline and zipper, made it too obvious to pair with the top. At least to me, the pose I’m using is actually in this Bird Nest Hideout from Consignment that I have set up on my patio. That Hideout was FaMESHed in February, so you’ll have to wait for it to find its way to the main store.

one of those days

hair:  Lamb. Potion  (*new* @ Uber)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery]  Saska (Catwa Applier) honey
BUENO– Grace Top (*new* @ Uber)
LYBRA.  Fina (*new* @ Ultra)

[Con.] Bird Nest Hideout (Feb FaMESHed)



“I felt deeply tricked. Stunned. And furious. I also felt my default emotion: numbness.”
― Augusten BurroughsRunning with Scissors

I relate to this quote so much. Having suffered at the hand of monsters more than once, I know this numbness well. I honestly believe its a defense mechanism. Its as if the emotion is too much and my body throws up a shield of numbness to protect me from the pain. I’m actually grateful for it, but I also have a tendency to depend on it a bit too much.
I remember a few years ago, I was going through one of the hardest times in my adult life. The numbness didn’t come. I had to create it, but taking far more xanax than any doctor would prescribe. I’m not addicted, its not like that, but when you depend on a numbness to keep yourself from literally slitting your wrists…well, you do what you’ve got to do. Even now, I get more xanax than I need from my doctor so that I have extra….just in case.
I recently found out that I was betrayed by someone I loved….shocking. I was so angry. I was so hurt. I wanted to lash out. I wanted to destroy him. I wanted to destroy everything he loved. I didn’t do anything, but cry to a few friends and eventually use my xanax to numb myself. When the xanax kicks in, I feels so much better…calmer as if floating in water without a care in the world. It’s a temporary fix, but sometimes its the calmness I need to process what has actually happened to me.

floating away

*LODE* Head Accessory – Juliet [peach]
hair: Exile – Wildfire
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery] Saska (Catwa Applier) honey

pose: Purple Poses Trish Set



Love is such a complicated thing. Its never as easy as the movies, is it? Meet cute, can’t stop thinking about each other, then another conveniently timed accidental meeting, then proceed through a montage of dating scenes, obligatory sex scenes, a teensy hiccup to show how they handle a fight, and then happily ever after. *sighs* Sadly, reality isn’t quite that easy.

We’ve all been there…a crush on the man that is dating someone you know. Perhaps you don’t know them very well, but she’s certainly nice enough and you’d never hurt her. So, you watch with longing for a while and eventually just let go. Hope is lost. Its not meant to be, she was there first and that’s that, isn’t it? Then some time passes and you find out he’s not with her anymore. You haven’t seen her in years. You don’t even know where she wound up. Oh goddamnit, he’s already dating someone else. *sighs* You don’t know her at all. Hmmm. Oh he’s not happy? That’s too bad. *hangs her head* You watch with a guilty belly hoping that this might be your chance….but your chance to what exactly? It’s been a crush all these years. What do you really know about him? What if he turns out to be a jerk. Is this one of those times the fantasy is better than the reality? Probably. *walks away*

do what's right
If I could force my heart, my ears, my mind
And eyes to get in line
Maybe I’ll find something real
Not a fantasy so divine
Let myself down each time
Let myself down each time

hair: DOUX – Shawnte (*new* @ Tres Chic)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
Dahlia – Jennifer – Sunglasses  (*new* @ REWIND)
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: Glam Affair –- MaryJane
AZOURY – Don Jewelry (*new* @ TLC)
(Yummy) Raining Diamonds (*new* @ C88)

pose: FOXCITY. Breather VOL2 Animated Pose Set (*new* @ Kustom9)


Be The Reason

None of us are perfect and most of us live with our share of regrets. I usually say that I have no regrets, because I am where I am because of everything that’s happened to me to get me here. However, that’s not really true. Regardless of where the path had led, if there were things I could go back and change, I would. I would undo the pain I’ve caused others. I would have treated myself better over the years and demanded better from others.
It took me a long time to get to a place where I felt I had a reason to live. You see for the longest time, I wanted to die almost every day. I have my reasons for wanting the sweet comfort of the final act, but I also have my reasons for staying alive. There are days that I struggle with both sides of that coin, but someone always finds a way to remind me why its so good that I am still here.
The first thing I had to do was forgive myself. I think that is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It’s really easy for me to forgive others. I’m really good at letting go (though I wasn’t always). The thing is we can’t really move through our lives without hurting people from time to time. We don’t always mean to hurt others and we rarely set out to hurt ourselves, but when we carry around toxic thoughts and feelings, that’s exactly what we do. We hurt ourselves.
There’s a song that most of you all know, “The Reason” by Hoobastank. This song came out when I was making some major life changes and it became somewhat of an anthem for me. Its a song that I sing to myself and yes, sometimes I actually sing it to myself in the mirror, because there’s no greater reason to change than to change for yourself. Don’t wait for someone else to fix you….be the reason you change and those changes will be yours that no one can take from you. Forgive yourself and be the reason to treat yourself better than anyone else ever could. You’ll be surprised how many people follow suit and started treating you better, too.

getting close
Thank you, Aaron. ♥

Aaron is wearing:
FLite. -Trucker Cap
hair: CATWA HEAD Daniel
ears: Stretched ears-Omimi- [MANDALA]
body: [Signature] Gianni – Body
SIG GIANNI Size – CARSON Hoodie by ColdAsh

hair: Exile – Wildfire (*new* @ C88)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: Glam Affair –- MaryJane – Catwa Mesh Head Applier – Jamaica
(Yummy) Bohemia Ring Set

pose: FOXCITY. Close (*new* @ Shop Your Heart Out By Linden Labs)

PM & Vibes – Neon Studio Apartment


Up ↑