“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ~Mohandas Gandhi
This is a lesson that took me ages me to learn. I had to learn that I had more power over how I feel than anyone else. I had to learn that forgiveness does not mean forgetting. I had to learn that holding onto resentments is like carrying rocks in my pocket and that each resentment I carry is just another rock. How many rocks must one soul carry until they learn to start letting them go? I had to learn that anger is a secondary emotion. Its one we choose, because its more comfortable than the fear and/or pain behind it. There will be some that read this and disagree, but that simply means they haven’t learned these lessons yet. Some never will. I know these things to be true. I know them to be as true as my weight and the scars on my skin.
Learning to forgive, despite the pain and/or fear certainly is not easy. It doesn’t mean you have to find love in your heart for those that have scorned you. It means you have to find love in your heart for yourself. Enough love to stop giving more power to those that hurt you. It means taking the power away from those that do not deserve it. I recently found out that someone that I once counted among my closest friends has been telling lies about me. He’s told innumerable people that I was trying to sleep with him and that’s why he quit being my friend. Those that know me…that really know him…they know that simply isn’t true, but there are plenty of people out there that are listening and believing his lies. It hurt. It still does, but there’s nothing I can do about him, his lies, or those that choose to believe him, except forgive him and let it go.
Will I ever trust him again? Will I ever be his friend again? Of course not. Learning to forgive and let go does not color me a fool. It simply strengthens me and lightens the load on my soul. I will never understand his reasons for that lie. He could have simply told the truth. We had an argument, we both felt the other person was unreasonable and he chose to walk away rather than talk it out. He could have said that I threw the friendship away, as that may very well have been his understanding of the situation. However, he chose to spread rumors and lies about me instead. Again, I admit that it hurt.
By forgiving him, I drop those rocks of resentment with his name on them, and I lighten the load on my soul. In the end, I am the stronger one, because by lightening my spiritual load I strengthen it at well. He is but one example of how people have stabbed me in the back. There are many others, but I must forgive them, as well. For its my spirit that I must care for and it is my responsibility to lighten that load. I have far more serious matters going on in my life that worrying about this man and his lies or anyone else that chooses to hate me for no genuine reason. So, to him I say, “I forgive you, here’s my back, stick a knife in it if you must, but you will NOT break my spirit or rape my soul.”
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