Homicidal Queen

“Excuse me can you tell me the worst thing you’ve heard about me
Maybe that I’m a little harlot homicidal queen
You know I heard that I don’t belong in this scene
Sex, metal, barbie, whore, attention fiend”
~ In This Moment – Sex Metal Barbie

Homicidal Queen

wearing:
hair:  Lamb. Babydoll – Fatpack (*new* @ FaMESHed)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: –Belleza– Freya
skin: [theSkinnery] Paola

The Horror!~Queen of Ice – Metal (*new* @ Tannenbaum)
BONDI . The Artist Sunglasses
VINYL – SuperChic Crop (*new* @ FaMESHed)
.miss chelsea. Holi Shorts  (*new* @ Tannenbaum)
***comes with fishnets & fantastic hud that allows you to cut them to fit
[Gos] Frenchie Ankle Boots (*new* @ FaMESHed)

GingerFish Poses – Sadystika
Mesh India Shade Backdrop Natural

 

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Skyscraper

“You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I’m made of glass
Like I’m made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper, like a skyscraper”
~Kerli – Skyscraper

As humans, we take a lot of punches throughout our lives. Yet, with each passing day, we either grow stronger or weaker. Ultimately, the choice is ours. Mentally and emotionally, I’ve definitely grown stronger. My body? Eh, not so much. I should have taken better care of it when I was younger, but I was invincible and never imagined I’d live past 30. Here I am dealing with level 8 pain daily as the weather changes. Yet, the emotional and mental tolls have been far more difficult to face.
There have been times that I’ve felt as fragile as glass, as delicate as tissue paper, and I’ve been beaten down both literally and figuratively. But each and every time, so far, I’ve gotten up. I’ve gained strength from the pain. In fact, there are times that by keeping my pain to myself and not complaining about it, by not showing it to the world, that I can borrow from it….channel it into strength. I’ve siphoned power from the pain to keep going. Perhaps I’m a bit stubborn, too. I feel like if anyone is going to genuinely take credit for me falling apart, its going to be me. So, until I’m ready to curl up with the worms for eternity, I will continue to rise like a skyscraper.

***If you are reading this on any site that suggests this post was originally published anywhere but SadyStyle by anyone other than Sadystika Sabretooth, you are reading a stolen post.

Skyscraper

wearing:
hair:  Lamb. Dove (*new* @ Uber)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [theSkinnery] Amber (*new* @ C88)

EF: Acanthus Headpiece (*new* @ X by FaMESHed)
EF: Acanthus Mask (*new* @ X by FaMESHed)
[The Forge] Xane Collar, Black (*new* @ X by FaMESHed)
Legal Insanity – Mistress dress (*new* @ X by FaMESHed)
_CandyDoll_ Claudia Boots (*new* @ C88)

pose: FOXCITY. Sass Bento Pose Set

Paparazzi – BACKDROP – Grime Block Balcony
BUENO-NightSpot Loft Building-Regular

Your Nightmares are my Lullabies

I go to sleep to crime shows…let me explain why. Well, I’m not completely sure why, but I do know some of the reasons. Ok, so part of it is that I’m a city girl and I’m used to hearing noises while I sleep. I cannot sleep to complete peace and quiet. Once I’m asleep, then quiet is good. Thank goodness for sleep timers. Whoever made that a feature on TVs sure deserves more recognition. Alright, so why crime shows vs music or something “happier?” Well, I like shows that I can imagine…that I can picture without looking at the screen. The crime shows on DiscoveryID (wicked channel in the U.S.) are perfect, because the ones I watch always catch the killer and they’re on Hulu or AmazonPrime without any loud, obnoxious commercials. Forensic Files is my absolute favorite, because the narrator has the greatest voice! It’s soothing and calm, yet crystal clear. I do sometimes go to sleep to sitcoms, but only those that don’t change the scenery a lot. So, now you know why your nightmares are my lullabies. Plus I’m twisted. *grins*

your nightmares are my lullabies

wearing:
hair:   Lamb. Boyish (*new* @ C88)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [theSkinnery] Amber (*new* @ C88)

Kibitz – Cash out rings – onyx (*new* @ Kinky)
:::ChicChica::: Holy blood cocktail (*new* @ Salem)
Blueberry – Maria – Bomber Jacket
Blueberry – Maria – Skirt
Blueberry – Maria – Boots – Flat Heels (comes w/high heel version, too!)

pose: .::Attitude::. Machete_Pose_Pack (*new* @ PoseFair)

Baked

“Its been a while since I started my day with a wake-n-bake, but after last six very hectic days…I can now say it. It feels goooood,” she whispered into thin air as she stared at it lying there. It had stopped her in her tracks and she was suddenly frozen in the spot. She couldn’t move an inch…she tried to look away, but her eyes returned as witness over and over again.
“Why does it look like that? How did it get here? Is that what I think it is? OMG, what the hell is wrong with me for even thinking that?”

xtc sassy pose fair_004
“WHAT IS IT!?!?!?!” screams Tracy from the other end of the call.

wearing:
hair:  Lamb. Garden (*new* @ FaMESHed)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [Glam Affair] Dee

KITJA – Karina Sweatshirt WHITE
UC_Morgan (*new* @ Kinky)
Eudora3D Riding Boots (*new* @ Salem)

pose: ~X.T.C PoSes~ Miss Sassy [Static Pack] (*new* @ Pose Fair)
location: Bardeco

Is This What I’ve Become?

“All the voices in my head are coming to life
They’re getting louder and I’m terrified
How do you run from your own mind?
Is this what I’ve become?
Take it back what have I done”
~Faith Marie – Antidote

I'm Fine

wearing:
hair:  Lamb. Fox – Fatpack (*new* @ Uber)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [Glam Affair] Dee

^^Swallow^^ Princess Bento Rings
Scandalize.Elva.TOP. (*new* @ Uber)
Scandalize.Elva.LEGGINGS (*new* @ Uber)
[Gos] Emma Strap Pumps (*new* @ Uber)

pose: [KoKoLoReS] Sadness pose pack (*new* @ Pose Fair)
MINIMAL – Checkpoint Corridor  (*new* @ Uber)

Choices

“Nobody ever did, or ever will, escape the consequences of his choices.”
~  Alfred A. Montapert

I think its important to remember that, because we are constantly faced with choices from monumental life altering choices to the tiniest things like flipping our hair or smiling at a stranger. Some choices are going to carry far more weight than the others. So, I think its important to remember those consequences as we approach the weekend.

Especially Grace, cuz her consequences are probably going to be a massive hangover and a freshly dug grave in the back yard. *smirks*

off kilter

wearing:
hair: Lamb. Gem
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [Glam Affair] Dee Applier [ Catwa ] 007 (*new* @ Au Lovely)
Dahlia – Lancia – Necklace – TWO TONE
*PerveTTe* Bond [Arm Chain] [Black Silver](*new* @ RLD)
Ascendant – Najla Bento Nails (*new* @ Dubai)
Blueberry – Jenna – Bikini Top
Legal Insanity – Gioia flared pants (*new* @ Tres Chic)

pose: an lar [poses] The Vera Series
[Bad Unicorn] Imaginarium Backdrop (*new* @ Equal10)

No One

Just this….cuz…reasons.

Mothica – No One

You curl my name with your lip
I take a drink, I hate it
I tell you what you want to hear, so I
Can catch my breath and step away
Think about what to say to you
While you come unglued
I don’t know how to make it clear
I’ve tried it out all these years
But it doesn’t seem to go through
Til now

Here I go, hear what I’m saying
What I want to say, what I want to say
All this time, you thought I would be your girl
I’m sorry, I belong to no one, no one
I belong to no one, no one
I’m not known to hold on, hold on too long

There you go, take it back
You didn’t mean this and you didn’t mean that
What were you thinking when you thought you could touch me last night?
I know you don’t think it’s wrong if you don’t break the skin
But if I want to touch, I’ll ask for it, oh oh oh, until I
Can catch my breath and step away
Think about what to say to you
While you come unglued
I don’t know how to make it clear
I’ve tried it out all these years
But it doesn’t seem to go through
Til now

Here I go, hear what I’m saying
What I want to say, what I want to say
All this time, you thought I would be your girl
I’m sorry, I belong to no one, no one
I belong to no one, no one
I’m not known to hold on, hold on too long

There you go, take it back
You didn’t mean this and you didn’t mean that
What were you thinking when you thought you could touch me
I know you don’t think it’s wrong if you don’t break the skin
But if I want to touch, I’ll ask for it, oh oh oh

Here I go, hear what I’m saying
What I want to say, what I want to say
All this time, you thought I would be your girl
I’m sorry, I belong to no one, no one
I belong to no one, no one
I’m not known to hold on, hold on too long

No One

wearing:
hair:   Lamb. Halo
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [Glam Affair] Dee Applier [ Catwa ] 007 (*new* @ Au Lovely)
ELLURE – “VIIAN” Flower Earrings (*new* @ Vanity Event)
(Yummy) Dark Magic Ring Set
_CandyDoll_ Aida Top (*new* @ FaMESHed)
_CandyDoll_ Aids Shorts (*new* @ FaMESHed)
pose: FOXCITY. Selfie VOL2 Bento Pose Set
MINIMAL – Sequoia Room (*new* @ C88)

You Don’t Know

Katelyn Tarver – You Don’t Know

I know you’ve got the best intentions
Just trying to find the right words to say
Promise I’ve already learned my lesson
But right now, I wanna be not okay
I’m so tired, sitting here waiting
If I hear one more “Just be patient”
It’s always gonna stay the same
So let me just give up
So let me just let go
If this isn’t good for me
Well, I don’t wanna know
Let me just stop trying
Let me just stop fighting
I don’t want your good advice
Or reasons why I’m alright
You don’t know what it’s like
You don’t know what it’s like
Can’t stop these feet from sinking
And it’s starting to show on me
You’re staring while I’m blinking
But just don’t tell me what you see
I’m so over all this bad luck
Hearing one more “Keep your head up”
Is it ever gonna change?
So let me just give up
So let me just let go
If this isn’t good for me
Well, I don’t wanna know
Let me just stop trying
Let me just stop fighting
I don’t want your good advice
Or reasons why I’m alright
You don’t know what it’s like
You don’t know what it’s like
Don’t look at me like that
Just like you understand
Don’t try to pull me back
Let me just give up
Let me just let go
If this isn’t good for me
Well, I don’t wanna know
Let me just stop trying
Let me just stop fighting
I don’t want your good advice
Or reasons why I’m alright
You don’t know what it’s like
You don’t know what it’s like
You don’t know, you don’t know, you don’t know
You don’t know what it’s like
You don’t know what it’s like
You don’t know, you don’t know
You don’t know what it’s like
You don’t know what it’s like

scandalous

wearing:
hair:   Lamb. Halo (*new* @ FaMESHed)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [Glam Affair] Maze Applier [ Catwa ] 007 (*new* @ C88)
piercings: –SU!– Piercing Set 07 Septum & Nose Studs
CULT : His Princess Rings/Silver (*new* @ Kinky)
[ kunst ] – Cigarette & holder
Scandalize.Karole.BRA.   (*new* @ Vanity Event)
Scandalize.Karole.TOP  (*new* @ Vanity Event)
Scandalize.Karole.JEANS  (*new* @ Vanity Event)
pose: <K&S> ~Next to the wall set
location: Corruption

Grow or Wilt

People are like dirt. They can either nourish you and help you grow as a person or they can stunt your growth and make you wilt and die. ~Plato

I love this quote, because there’s so much truth to it. What we tend to forget is that we have a lot more control over our personal growth than we give ourselves credit for. We latch onto people, convincing ourselves that we are being loyal. We let people make us sick, we let them wilt us and drain us of our very life force, by trying to please them, avoid confrontations. We don’t want to hurt them. When so often, there’s nothing we’ve done to the other person to justify their actions or attitude. More often than not, it really has nothing at all to do with us. However, we continue to stand by them…allowing them to cast their issues upon us as if we were to blame. And so, the cycle begins. We bow down, we apologize, we plead with them. Then when we’re alone and thinking it over, we’re left confused. What did we actually do wrong? Probably nothing, really.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that when two friends have a disagreement that we should never accept responsibility. I’m talking about toxic people that blame everyone else for their problems. The ones that like to test their friends and point fingers based on paranoia and insecurities. You know, the ones that you really don’t want to spend a lot of time with, because you don’t know what to expect? *shrugs* I’m mostly just thinking in text…stream of consciousness. Rambling, because I hate cutting people from my life. Especially people I love so dearly, but we can only allow so much pain from a “friend” before we have to cut them loose. I have to decide whether I want to grow or wilt.

Where Things Grow

wearing:
hair:   Lamb. Honey (*new* @ FaMESHed)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: Glam Affair – Willow – Jamaica (*new* @ Uber)

!APHORISM! Joonie Top (*new* @ FaMESHed)
!APHORISM! Joonie Maxi Skirt (*new* @ FaMESHed)
Eudora3D LastSummer Clogs (*new* @ Shiny Shabby)

pose: Fashiowl Poses – Here comes the sun (*new* @ Pose Fair)

scene:
[Bad Unicorn] Allora House (*new* @ Uber)
crate Hardwood Smoker Black
07. LAGOM – Hawaiian Party [Pineapple string] (*new* @ TLC)
19. LAGOM – Hawaiian Party [Balloons Yellow] RARE (*new* @ TLC)
Trompe Loeil – Corazon Palm Chair Natural PG
InVerse – MRockPath
uK – Malibu Entry Console Table Wood (*new* @ FaMESHed)
uK – Malibu Entry Succulent Platter (*new* @ FaMESHed)
uK – Malibu Entry Basket Stack (*new* @ FaMESHed)
uK – Malibu Entry Waves Rug (*new* @ FaMESHed)
crate Krusty Kitchen Shelf Full Set
Granola. Carmella Bird Of Paradise.  (*new* @ FaMESHed)
Granola. June’s Pool Lounger.

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