Family Ties

“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life.” ~Richard Bach
I haven’t started a blog with a quote that wasn’t a song lyric in a while, but this topic has been on my mind for some time now. Father’s Day occurred only two days ago and as I scrolled through Facebook I saw message after message about people’s fathers. Some were well wishes, some shared memories of fathers past, and then there were people like me that avoided the subject altogether. I can’t know why others avoided the subject, but I know why I did. I even had to tell Skype (yes, outloud) to stfu. Skype had a message that said, “Fathers are people, too!” My response was, “Not all of them! Some of them are monsters!” I don’t think its a secret that I’m another girl on the grid with daddy issues. Given how common abusive fathers seem to be, we’re merely statistics.
However, I’m not going to waste this post or your time bitching about my father. Instead, I want to embrace the blessing of family bonding with people I’ve never even met face to face. Like many other people in Second Life, I am part of a family. I don’t always feel like part of the family, as most of them really don’t talk to me much and to be fair, its not like I go out of my way to hunt them down and pursue conversations either. Yet, I do feel like a few of them would truly be there if I needed them.
I think the truest “family” I have on the grid would probably be the cunts. Now, hold on, don’t get your britches twisted, we call ourselves the Cunt Cult and we’re a group of besties. At the core there’s four of us, there’s a fifth one, but she’s off living the real life. (She fell in love! SQUEEEE!) Kess, Tracy, Grace, and I have built a bond unlike that I’ve ever known before. We’re not a clique. We don’t go around doing the whole mean girls thing, dressing alike, following a leader. Although, if we did, Kess would be it…she’s bossy like that. *laughs* My point is…while some of us don’t have traditional families in real life or even partake in family groups on the grid, we have each other. We have that bond between friends that is as strong, if not stronger, than any family ties I’ve ever known. For that, I am grateful.
I have so many circles of wonderful friends inworld that I am so grateful for and I love them each dearly. Though we may not speak every day and some not even every week, we are there for one another when it counts. I’m also grateful for my fur babies in real life, because they are just as much a part of my family as my mother or my husband. Even though they can’t make me coffee in the morning.
So, whatever kind of family ties you have, hold them close, hold them dear to you heart, and don’t wait for some “holiday” to celebrate them. Tell them today that you love them, because none of us are guaranteed a tomorrow.

family

wearing: 
hair
:  Lamb. Home (June Luxe Box)
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
skin: Glam Affair – Polly – Catwa Mesh Head Applier – Jamaica (*new* @ Arcade)
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
UC_Jane_Fringe_mini_dress_slate (*new* @ Kustom9)
#EMPIRE – Wandflower (June VIP Group Gift)

pose by Double Take
location: The Mill 

#SadyOnMyAss

A few months ago I was over the moon, a little confused, and a teensy bit overwhelmed as I was accepted to blog for Phedora. After my first full month of blogging for them, I won blogger of the month! I couldn’t believe it! This came with a monetary prize, as well as them using one of my pics for their flickr cover and I think their Facebook cover, too. I can’t remember about the last one to be sure. However, one of the other prizes was having a design named after me. I was over the moon. There were going to be shoes named Sady!?!?! A couple of months went by and I saw nothing. I had forgotten all about it until one day, Niki Demonix (wife of Lucifer…seriously) was winding the Phedora VIPs up about the WIP and what was coming to Kustom9, I jokingly asked if it was something fabulous named after me. Imagine my surprise when Niki sends me an IM with a gyazo showing me the edit box on a WIP that read Sadystika panties!!!!! WHAT?!?! Yes!
As crazy excited as I was to hear about this, she then begins a campaign with a hashtag: #sadyonmyass

So, if you’re scrolling through Facebook and noticing that hashtag, you can blame Niki. *laughs* I am finding it rather amusing and I do hope you’ll love the set as much as I do. Feel free to use the hashtag or not, but make sure you check it out, because this set is gorgeous!

Around the same time that this set came out, my best friend, Tracy Weston of GingerFish poses, released her top secret collaboration project for eBento. Its an astounding build called Red Light Queen. Its so big in face, that in order to show you the panties I could really only show you one of the poses inside one of the doors. She does have a full scale demo at the event, so if you love photography…if you love naughty pictures…this is a must have set. You will see it again on my blog, of that you can be sure!

Snapshot_036

wearing: 
hair
:  TETRA – Pineapple Hair (FLF June 16, 2017)
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
skin: Glam Affair – Polly – Catwa Mesh Head Applier – Jamaica (*new* @ Arcade)
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara

Phedora ~ Sadystika Set  (*new* @ Kustom9)

pose & scene: GingerFish Poses – Red Light Queen (*new* @ eBENTO)

Most Girls

“You know some days you feel so good in your own skin
But it’s okay if you wanna change the body that you came in
‘Cause you look greatest when you feel like a damn queen
We’re all just playing a game in a way, trying to win at life”
Hailee Steinfeld – Most Girls

If you’re a girl, you’ve had to have heard it at least once in your life, “You’re not like most girls.” Of course, I’m not. We’re all different. There are some common factors though and I think that proves true in Second Life more than anywhere else, because in SL most girls want their avatar to be the epitome of beauty as they see it. Oh sure, there are lots of us looking around at other girls in SL thinking, “WTF?” Truth be told, they either love the way they look or they’re simply having fun with their avatar and probably change their avatars regularly. Even if we think an avatar is outdated with bling and/or flexi hair/clothes…a system body/head…perhaps those girls simply don’t like the look of mesh or maybe their computers can’t handle it. Its not for me to say and sure, I’m guilty of giggling with my friends about other avatars, but at the end of the day…who is to say they’re not giggling at us? I’m not trying to make anyone feel guilty for the giggles, so long as those giggles and remarks are kept among friends. I’m not even saying that I won’t do it anymore, because I know I will. What I am saying is that we all have something about our avatars that someone else doesn’t like, but so long as we’re happy with ourselves…our avatars…our representations in a virtual world…THAT is what matters the most, isn’t it? So, if you have a tall thin avatar that resembles an anorexic runway model in the real world, but you love it…good for you and don’t you let anyone change your mind about that. If you have the enormous boobs and butt with the itty bitty waist, but you love it…good. There’s enough body shaming in the real world. Don’t you dare let anyone tell you that your avatar isn’t right, if YOU love it. Now, if you don’t love it…might I suggest you peruse some blogs and create a look you will love? *grins* Oh, just go enjoy the song, do some shopping, and laugh…it is Friday after all…hell, have a drink or five. Live your life and stop worrying about what most girls and doing and be you. ♥

most girls

wearing:
hair
TRUTH / Rumor
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
tattoo: .::Nanika::. Alexandra tattoo Black Maitreya
skirt{le fil casse} Lilith Skirt (*new* @ Somber)

pose by Foxcity (Cutiepie set)
BUENO-Onyx Hall (*new* @ Kustom9)

XOXO

As I sit here this beautiful Saturday morning, smoking my cigarette and drinking my coffee, I can’t help but think about how blessed I am. I had a fantastic conversation with a new friend about the power of choosing to be positive. We talked about how there’s far too much hate and how there can never be too much love. So, in keeping with that I’m going to keep this short and wish you all an absolutely beautiful, positive, love filled weekend. XOXO

XOXO

wearing:
hair:  [monso] My Hair – Twobi (*new* @ Kustom9)
head: CATWA HEAD Kathy
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skinGlam Affair – Polly – Catwa Mesh Head Applier – Jamaica (*new* @ Kustom9)

Vinyl – Scars Turtleneck/Bra Pak (FLF May 27, 2017)
Vinyl – Florence Skirt
Phedora ~ Danielle Strappy heels (*new* @ Uber)

pose by Foxcity (includes cigarette)
MINIMAL – Underground Background -4- (*new* @ Uber)

Turn Your Back On It

I see a lot of threads on Facebook about people getting mad at each other for commenting on shady comments directed at them, while the person commenting had no idea who it was about and didn’t care. As I’m not sure that reads correctly, lets put some fake names on it, using the alphabet, okay?

A makes a shady status update on Facebook about Z. B makes a comment on said shady status having no idea who the original comment was about. Z sees it, knows that A is talking about them and now wonders if B has a problem with them, as well. Now B has hurt feelings and is confused. In the confusion, B sends a message to Z asking what’s up? Z clearly has no idea what B is talking about and now they have beef, too. So, essentially whatever bond B and Z might have had…well, its damaged over something that had nothing to do with Z in the first place.

Here’s another example, albeit extreme, it does happen. Y makes a shady status update about X. Now D comes along this status on their feed and makes a comment. X is downright pissed off and unfriends D. Until now, D was clueless about the true drama, but after the tantrum that X throws by unfriending D…well, D isn’t all that bothered, but is now amused enough to share the experience elsewhere on Facebook.
Do you see where this is going?

I actually have my own little story that coincides with this. About 2 1/2 years ago, I went through a really nasty break up and the ex was ranting all over Facebook in her ever true to narcissistic fashion via passive aggressive status updates….all aimed at me, of course, but oddly enough hidden from me, as well. We can’t allow the subject of our passive aggressive posts to defend themselves, now can we? *laughs* Okay, so we all know how this goes, right? You might hide the status from the intended subject, but you have common “friends” and someone always likes to stir the pot by running and telling everything they see. And so it was one fateful night that I sat around with some new and old friends playing some Cards Against Humanity. I get a random IM from someone that had not spoken to me in month,s showing me exactly what was said by the EX and all the people that commented on it. Two of the people that commented knew exactly who it was about and yes, I unfriended them. However, there was one comment made by someone sitting at the very table I was playing the game with me. As her SL name differed slightly from her FB name, I asked her who she was on Facebook. She confirmed that she was the person in question. So, I advised her rather quickly and a bit curtly that I was not “emotionally stunted” as she had commented on my ex’s post. I could tell by her embarrassment and apology that she truly had no idea that the ex was speaking of me, as she barely knew either of us and had only seen us around and not really together when she did. Mind you, in addition to her apology she deleted her comment immediately and is now one of my absolute best friends. We’ve never even come close to having a disagreement since that night. We were kinda lucky in the sense that we were able to sort it out right away and move forward.
However, as you can imagine, there are a lot of ways this can go down. Most of them only end in hurt feelings, lost friendships, and missed opportunities. So…the moral of this post is that if you don’t know what/who the shady status is about…then its best to keep on scrolling. Now, if you do know and wanna throw shade…knock yourselves out, but just remember, you’re feeding the drama llama…so don’t go running to your profile with that “I don’t do drama” bullshit cuz you clearly do. So, if you really want to avoid the drama, scroll on past the stuff that doesn’t concern you and turn your back on unnecessary drama. *nods and steps off her soap box*

bueno one piece

wearing:
hair:  Beusy: Jaclyn Hairstyle (*new* @ REWIND)
head: CATWA HEAD Kathy
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skinGlam Affair – Polly – Catwa Mesh Head Applier – Jamaica (*new* @ Kustom9)

BUENO-Swimsuit-Mat-Aqua (*new* @ Uber)

pose by Di’s Opera

locatioin: The Trace Too

Bad Girl

Yeah, its a lyrics kinda post…make what you want of it. *smirks* I’ve been talking on some pretty deep subjects the last few days…so today…you get a song that gives you a peek into another side of me. *grins* Some of you might even already know this side of me. Somehow I doubt it will surprise anyone that doesn’t. So, enjoy and grab yourself some devious accessories…get out there and be BAD! <eg>

Bad Girl – Avril Lavigne (Suicide Squad) ft. Marilyn Manson

Just lay your head in daddy’s lap, you’re a bad girl

Bad girl (1-2-3-4)

Hey, hey
I’ll let you walk all over me, me
You know that I’m a little tease, tease
But I wanna play there please, please

You know you know you know I’m crazy
I just wanna be your baby
You can fuck me, you can play me
You can love and you can hate me

Miss me, miss me, now you wanna kiss me

[Chorus]
Choke me because I said so
Stroke me and feed my ego
I’ve been a bad girl, don’t you know?
(Don’t tell me what to do)
Come get it now or never
I’ll let you do whatever
I’ll be your bad girl, here we go
(1-2-3-4)

Miss me, miss me, now you wanna kiss me

(You’re a bad girl)

Baby,
You know I want a little taste, taste
So let me take you all the way, way
You know you’ll never be the same, same

(You fuckin’ bad girl!)

One night
You won’t forget the rest of your life
So come on over to the wild side
Buckle up and, baby, hold on tight

Miss me, miss me, now you wanna kiss me
We both know that you love me ’cause I’m so bad!

[Chorus]
Choke me because I said so
Stroke me and feed my ego
I’ve been a bad girl, don’t you know?
(Don’t tell me what to do)
Come get it now or never
I’ll let you do whatever
I’ll be your bad girl, here we go
(1-2-3-4)

I’ve been a bad girl [7x]
I’ve got your bad girl

[Chorus]
Choke me because I said so
Stroke me and feed my ego
I’ve been a bad girl, don’t you know?
(Don’t tell me what to do)
Come get it now or never
I’ll let you do whatever
I’ll be your bad girl, here we go
(1-2-3-4)

Bad bad bad girl
(lyrics grabbed from AZLYRICS)

noangel

wearing:
hairMagika – A Perfect Mess (w/ headband)
head: CATWA HEAD Kathy
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skinGlam Affair – Polly – Catwa Mesh Head Applier – Jamaica (*new* @ Kustom9)
piercing: .:E.A.Studio:. Piercing Armor Rokaba Nose Woman
necklace: Pretty Mess – Knotted Choker SILVER (*new* @ N21)

Haunted Hallway

I was talking about the different types of abuse I endured as a kid the other day. It wasn’t really one of those emo conversations, but more about which types of abuse seem to have left the deepest scars. For me personally, it was the physical or sexual abuse. It was the verbal, emotion, and mental abuse. There was a hallway in my house that had two doors on either side and to this day I have nightmares about that hallway. Why? Because it was there that I was scarred the most. Passing my father in the hallway only to hear him mutter insults repeatedly throughout every single day. This went on long after the physical and sexual abuse ended. In fact, it got worse. I think we all know too well how insults and negative statements tend to linger…to weigh heavier than the positive. I wish I could change that. I wish I could believe the good things people say as much, if not more, than the bad.
Perhaps if we are kinder to one another, more complimentary towards one another…we can avoid haunted hallways and instead step out into the sun. May we embrace the rays of positive words and leave the negative remarks…the hate…the abuse…behind us…in the dark.

lybra

wearing:
hairMINA – Indy
head: CATWA HEAD Kathy
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skinGlam Affair – Polly – Catwa Mesh Head Applier – Jamaica (*new* @ Kustom9)

LYBRA . VIVIEN TAUPE (*new* @ Shiny Shabby)

pose by Di’s Opera

backdrop: /anxiety/ local (*new* @ Shiny Shabby)