Coffee, black like my clothes

Let’s talk about coffee. I’m a bit of purest, I suppose. I mean, I love cream and sugar in my coffee. In fact, I’m really bizarrely picky about my coffee at home. Which is not going to make me sound like a purest at all, but my perfect cup of coffee is going to be Dunkin’s orignal blend with one scoop of Coffeemate’s powder creamer, with two packets of equal. Yeah, yeah, I know…chemicals. I just be ashamed, but it really does make the perfect textured coffee with the perfect flavor…for me. Right, so how the hell am I a purest? Well, I think there are some flavors that fit naturally with coffee and those that don’t. Fruit does not belong in coffee. Period. Vegetables don’t belong in coffee. Period. Creamy flavors like caramel, chocolate, toffee….definitely, on occasion, but not daily. Its like drinking candy and its gross. Nutty flavors are also fine on occasion, but again…daily is too much. Mind you, these are my opinions, but I really feel like they make sense.
I’d rather drink my coffee black for the rest of my life than to put fruit in my coffee EVER. Coconut and pumpkin in coffee is disturbingly disgusting. Now, that’s my opinion and that’s all it is…opinions. Nothing more. The truth is that coffee is amazing and I love how it can be used in recipes, not to mention that coffee has become the foundation for all these crazy concoctions. I won’t like, I will readily drink certain flavored coffees from time to time. I love that there’s something for everyone. If you can’t find a way to enjoy coffee, you are not trying! *laughs* Y’all didn’t see that coming, did you? Ha!

KUNI – Amanda @ Belle
GENUS Project – Genus Head – Baby Face
[Glam Affair] Edyta Applier [ Genus ] @ Anthem
Ascendant – Classic Marble Nails @ Anthem
KUNGLERS – Alima necklace @ Belle
Cynful Clearly. Blazer @ Collabor88
Cynful Clearly. Shorts @ Collabor88
*AvaWay* NAUGHTY KITTEN Garters Set @ Cosmopolitan
[BREATHE]-Kendra Heels

Diversion – Affection Poses @ Belle
Black Coffee *RARE* – Black Night – The Bearded Guy @ Dubai

 

Rambling

I say that I don’t like people all the time, but the truth is I’ve just become rather anti-social. People actually fascinate me, but mainly the way out there types. It’s no secret that serial killers have always fascinated me and I admit, that’s rather grim. They’re not the only people that fascinate me though. Artists of all kinds are a curious lot. Actually, anyone that doesn’t live a basic life is interesting.
Profiles in SL are kinda neat that way. They provide a little peak into people’s live. I realize that I’m only seeing what people want me to see, but having been on the grid since 2006, I’ve learned how to read profiles with a grain of salt. There are certain things that are sure fire clues in some. Like the ones that swear they don’t do drama….you can bet that person is always mixed up in some drama. *laughs* You can discover all sorts of new music, by the links people provide. I’ve read some pretty funny stuff. The ones that feel it necessary to announce how bitchy or rude they are really make me tilt my head. Why do you want to tell the world you’re a negative, hateful person? When did that become a source of pride? It costs nothing to be nice. Why would anyone go out of their way to be rude and hateful to people they haven’t even met yet? I have to wonder if its some sort of self preservation tactic. I can’t imagine they are happy people. *shrugs*
Ah well, I’m rambling this morning. I’m gonna shush now. Happy shopping!♥

KUNI / Ashley (v2.0)
CATWA HEAD Catya v3.2
[Glam Affair] Alexa Applier [ Catwa ] @ UBER
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V4.1
[[ Masoom ]] Tiffany Bento gloves @ Kinky
Miu – Avril open side top
Miu – Maia denims @ FaMESHed

FOXCITY. Night Owl Bento Set

Cutting back

Cutting back on the number of stores that I officially blog for is one of the hardest things for me to do. Choosing which stores to stay with and which to let go of can simply do my head in, but its part of what I have to do if I am to remain a responsible blogger. It’s my duty to do my best for each brand I represent and the minute I know that is no longer possible, I have to face the truth and cut them loose. It’s heartbreaking to say the least. Especially when I have been with a brand from the beginning. However, as I continue along my blogging journey I evolve just like everyone else. My tastes change, my style changes, my feelings change and thus my blog changes, as well as my photos.
The important thing for me to remember is why I blog in the first place. I blog for me, first and foremost. I blog for the therapeutic value and the creative outlet. The past few months, I’ve discovered that’s all I do. I log in to SL simply to blog and I work. I love both, but there has to be more. SL is not a job, nor do I ever want it to feel like one. I love the jobs I have and I love my blog. I love the stores that I represent and those I’ve had to part ways with over time. I have never blogged for a store that I didn’t believe in nor will I.
It’s time for me to find room for more than blogging and work in my Second Life. That’s why I had to resign my position from a total of 9 stores and events this past weekend. *sighs* I only hope the brands know how difficult the decision was and that I will always be grateful for the opportunities afforded me while blogging for them.

head: GENUS Project – Baby Face
–SU!– Piercing Set 01
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [Glam Affair] Kleo @ Access

KUNI – Hera @ Equal10
Meva Katrin Collar @ ROMP
Meva Katrin Bracelets @ ROMP
Meva Katrin Dress @ ROMP
: CULT : Cristel Stud Heels @ Belle

:: Focus Poses Sexy Pouf ::

What I’m dealing with

I’m really not even sure how much I’ve talked about my fibromyalgia. I think I mentioned it a while back and about how someone suggested that I’d become one of those people that post memes about it all the time. I do my best not to whine about it. People ask how I’m doing and I usually say I’m alright. No one really wants to hear about the trials and tribulations of living with this incredibly wretched disease. A lot of people don’t really know what it is and on that note, I took the liberty of grabbing this definition from the Mayo Clinic’s website:
Fibromyalgia is a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues. Researchers believe that fibromyalgia amplifies painful sensations by affecting the way your brain processes pain signals. 

That’s putting in the plainest terms possible. It almost sounds like a list of possible side effects from one of those prescription med commercials. To give you a genuine look at what it feels like would almost be impossible. There are good days and bad, but the bad days are so awful that its often too painful to even get out of bed. If you’ve ever had the actual flu (not a bad cold that you called the flu), then you may have experienced a rather small percentage of  fibro like pain. It can be quite similar. Even that is not a fair comparison, because some days it feels like I’ve been in a car wreck and I’m covered in bruises. While other days it feels like every nerve ending I have is on fire.
There are days when I can’t sleep and there are days when that’s all I can do. There are days that I’m extremely motivated and days that I can only describe as mental vacation. It’s like my brain just checks out and I can’t focus to save my life. Then there are the mood swings. I could be in the best of mood and then a wave of pain washes over me out of nowhere. I can’t imagine anyone would handle that particularly well, but when your moods are already questionable it makes matters much worse. As a result of all this, I’ve become much more reclusive than I once was. I tend to isolate which can lead to loneliness, but at least I’m not at risk of lashing out at anyone for no rational reason. Meh, I’m in the middle of a bad wave of pain…spent most of the day in bed…so that’s why I chose to write about it now. I hope it wasn’t too much of a downer. I tried not to make it whiny, but there are times when I just want the world to understand what I’m dealing with here. *shrugs*

head: Catwa Catya
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [Glam Affair] Gabrielle @ Collabor88

KUNI / Fran
OSMIA – Penny.Velvet Outfit @ Belle

Diversion – Dreamer Poses @ Belle

[Con.] Catia Kitchen – WHITE

dust bunny . coffee machine . color change

[Rezz Room] Grouchy Cat Grumbling @ Equal10

Poof.

I’ve been letting music speak for me the last few months. I haven’t had it in me to write about what’s going on with me or the world around me. I suppose it is a form of writer’s block, but you’d have to be an actual writer to get that, wouldn’t you? I’m just a nobody that rambles on about whatever nonsense tumbles around in my head when I set my fingers to the keys. I don’t have anything profound to say. I don’t really have that interesting of a life. Sometimes I make people laugh and for that I am grateful, but lately laughter hasn’t been a huge part of my life.
All I really want to say today…well, honestly, I’d like to ask that you all please be careful with the people you encounter in this world. You cannot begin to truly know what’s going on beneath the surface. You cannot know how close to the edge someone is…so for the love of humanity think twice before you’re careless with someone’s heart or feelings. The edge is so close for some that it would merely take one bad thing on a bad day to push them right over…and then Poof.

Basics:
head: CATWA HEAD Catya
^^Swallow^^ Crusties Ears
–SU!– Piercing Set 07
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [Glam Affair] Carla @ Collabor88
tattoo: WR – Call Of The Wild Tattoo

hair: KUNI / Juliet
Ascendant – Shake It Nails @ Access
//Naberius// The Manticore Set (Black)
[Aleutia] Jenna Sweater & Harness @ FaMESHed X

pose created with AnyPose

Skye Stone Stairs
JIAN Ragdoll Cat Snoozing

It can control you

It’s a thief in the night
To come and grab you
It can creep up inside you
And consume you
A disease of the mind
It can control you
It’s too close for comfort

Throw on your break lights
We’re in the city of wonder
Ain’t gonna play nice
Watch out, you might just go under
Better think twice
Your train of thought will be altered
So if you must falter be wise
Your mind is in Disturbia
It’s like the darkness is the light
Disturbia
Am I scaring you tonight
Your mind is in Disturbia
Ain’t used to what you like
Disturbia
Disturbia

~ Rihanna – Disturbia

Basics:
head: CATWA HEAD Catya
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [Glam Affair] Carla @ Collabor88
tattoo: DAPPA – Devour Tattoo.

**CC** – Beautiful Bokeh
**CC** – Glamour Glitter
KUNI – Camii @ Access
[The Forge] Aurora Top @ The Epiphany
[The Forge] Aurora Pants @ The Epiphany

[Dollmart]Empress Chair
:moon amore: Liquid Soul/ Fluids Halo @ The Epiphany

90 Days

“If I’m just somebody that you’re gonna leave
And you don’t feel something when you look at me
You’re holdin’ my heart, mmm, whatcha say?
Just let me down slowly, I’ll be okay
If you’re just some habit that I gotta break
I can clear my system in 90 days
You’re holdin’ my heart, mmm, whatcha say?
Just let me down slowly”
~ P!nk – 90 Days

Basics:
head: CATWA HEAD Catya
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [Glam Affair] Carla @ Collabor88

hair: KUNI – Ari @ Anthem
*PKC* Dara Bento Face Piercing Set @ Salon52
{le fil casse} Gathy Lace Set @ Belle

pose: Vanity Poses – Look Bento set

 

Don’t waste it always doing what you’re told

“My friends always tell me I get carried away
Sometimes I spit when I talk cause I have so much to say
They don’t seem to hear me, but I guess it’s okay
It’s not their fault my mind is working overtime with no pay

They always say the same thing and it’s starting to get old
That my head can’t get sick, that it can’t catch a cold
I scratch and I pick, my insecurities poke,
My fears, my anxiety, a voice that provokes

Take a walk, clear your head, breath in, count to ten
Cause on the first page of life written in red
You’ll never make it here if you don’t learn how to bend

…

Don’t speak unless you’re spoken to, little girl
Someday you will find your place in the world
But a lady don’t get dirty
Someday you’ll learn to fill the empty space with empty faith

…

Everyday feels like a battle and I always get hurt
I was frequently told violence was never the answer
But life doesn’t abide by the rules of a child
I don’t know how to fight, only taught how to surrender

There is a certain kind of darkness that does the reaping
It usually take you right before you are sleeping
Is it the crack in the door that it finds a way to creep in
Or the crack in your brain that want you to drop dead

I don’t remember what it’s like to see with clear vision
I awake every morning like the dead has arisen
I don’t have to think this body of mine is a prison
You don’t control me, I just got to find my lights switch

But the more that I look, the further it gets
Your the only thing about me that needs to be fixed
Cause on the first page of life written in fine print
Stop looking for light, live it instead

…

Don’t speak unless you’re spoken to, little girl
Someday you will find your place in the world
But ladies don’t get dirty
Someday you’ll learn to fill the empty space with empty faith

…

My mind is a mess, but I love it nonetheless
They told me to hush, but my words are all that’s left
So on the last page of life written in gold
Don’t waste it always doing what you’re told”

~ Faith Marie – Little Girl

Basics:
head: CATWA HEAD Catya
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [Glam Affair] Carla @ Collabor88

hair: KUNI – Angelina @ Equal10
[ kunst ] – Lucy earrings
[ kunst ] – Lucy choker
Ascendant – Smoothie Nails
Addams // Caroline Flare Shirt
Addams // Caroline Denim Shorts

pose: GingerFish Poses – Dancing with a Stranger @ eBento
location: Author’s Point

Be Inspired

When you surround yourself with loving, inspiring people, you cannot help but feel that love and to be inspired. The more time you spend with positive, inspirational individuals the more you evolve in a similar direction. The same is true of negativity and hate. That doesn’t mean, that we copy one another or try to beat one another. It means let us inspire one another to be motivated. There’s no reason to waste all that energy on hate or competition. Be the best that you can be and inspires others to do the same.
It’s become so easy to sit around and complain about all the things we hate. However, if we turn that energy around and instead of looking at the things we dislike, we take a mental inventory of all the blessings surrounding us. If you are reading this, you are using the internet. That, in and of itself, is a blessing. There’s no internet guarantees in life. It’s just as easy to look for the positive as it is to find the negative, but it comes down to the choices you make.
I write this as much for myself as I do anyone else, because I’ve been trained to find the bad in life. As far back as I can remember, my parents were telling me what was wrong with me, what was wrong with what I’d done, and expecting me to fail. At this point in my life, I can’t really blame them anymore. I’ve been a grown ass adult far longer than I was a child, but I’ve not always surrounded myself with positive people. I do know from experience that not only does surrounding yourself with positive people tend to make you more positive, but it can improve your mental health. I’m not suggesting it will cure a mental illness, but it can help. Being positive certainly doesn’t hurt.

wearing:
hair: KUNI / Suki  @ Salon52
head: CATWA HEAD Denice
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: #PUMEC – Sophia

BONDI . The Rockstar Sunglasses . @ FaMESHed
.::Nanika::. Fatima Collar
(Yummy) Delicate Ring Stacks
Ascendant – Smoothie Nails

_CandyDoll_ Suzan Dress @ FaMESHed
_CandyDoll_ Suzan Socks @ FaMESHed
_CandyDoll_ Suzan Boots @ FaMESHed

pose: Diversive – Chair – Lean

for scene info, please see: Limitless and Free