It’s behind us

We’ve all had someone do something awful to us at some point in our lives. Whether it was something massively tragic like child abuse, being attacked, or simply betrayed by someone we believed loved us more than they did. No matter the degree or the nature of the pain, the bottom line is that someone hurt us. As humans (though some of us are more cat like) we instinctively want to know why. We want our pain to be acknowledged by the perpetrator. And last but not least, we want retribution.
I learned a lesson about “why” when I was a kid. My father had this awesome friend, Randy. I absolutely adored him and he was always making me laugh. I remember he came over one day and began saying that WHY was irrelevant. He started breaking down all my why questions. Why is the sky blue? “Drop the why and you simply have a fact. It doesn’t matter why. The point is that it IS.” Is the sky blue? Yes. Why do we park in the drive way and drive on the parkway? Do we park in the drive way and drive on the parkway? Yes. He taught me early on that unless there was something to be gained from knowing why, there was no point in asking. So, I ask you…why did someone hurt me? Did someone hurt me? Yes. Knowing why serves no real purpose. Its not going to help me heal. It’s not going to change what happened. It’s not going to do anything, except make me ask more useless questions. I’m not an FBI profiler, I’m not going to get to the bottom of what makes a monster tick. It is simply for curiosity’s sake that I want to know why. It is not going to lesson my pain one bit.
Why do we need perpetrators to acknowledge what they did? Well, I just talked about why questions. So, the real question is do we need perpetrators to acknowledge what they did? No. We know what they did. The only reason we should NEED an admission of guilt is if we feel as though people do not believe us. Even then, we know what happened and whether admitted or not, the perpetrator knows. As far as the rest of the world, it only matters if there are criminal charges in question. Which leads me to the retribution part. We all want to feel vindicated. We trust in the laws of our government, our religions, karma, etc. However, the truth is that many people will never pay for their bad deeds. EVER. For us to walk around holding onto some sort of resentment waiting for them to pay the price? Well, that’s a bit like walking around with stones in our pockets for absolutely no reason except to be reminded that we’re carrying around these heavy rocks just to be reminded that we’re being fools for carrying around heavy rocks.
At the very end of it all, the only thing we can change in all of this is how we go forward. Regardless of why or acknowledgment or even retribution, we can choose to carry those stones in our pockets punishing ourselves for what someone else did. OR we can empty our pockets and walk away with our heads held high knowing that whatever happened is in our past. It’s behind us…so without looking back, just bend over a bit, smack yourself on the butt and tell all that crap to kiss to your ass!

hair:  [KoKoLoReS] Hair Runa @ The Liaison Collaborative
head: CATWA HEAD Catya v3.2
eyes: Izzie’s – Cyberlogic Eyes @ The Liaison Collaborative
skin: [Glam Affair] Maria Applier
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
tattoo: IDTTY Body Shop – Feline Gaze
=Zenith=Buckle Gloves
Ascendant – Taffy Nails @ Access
–:zk:– Maetel Armor @ The Liaison Collaborative
[BREATHE]-Kendra Heels

pose: GingerFish Poses – Outrun @ The Liaison Collaborative
location: Hangars Liquides

Dear Customers

Dear Customers,

Obviously, this is not aimed at every single customer in the world or even on the grid. However, it is aimed at enough people that I took it upon myself to use a blog post for the article. I’m not going to bitch at you or try to insult you, because customers are wonderful. Yet, there seems to a few things in Second Life that most customers seemed to be a bit confused about, so I’m going to try and help both the customer, as well as the designer, with a few helpful tips.

1. Contacting the designer for any reason. First thing I recommend is looking at the designer’s profile. Most designers have specific instructions for common issues and a list of contacts for the fastest response. Follow those instructions. I promise, they’re there for a reason.
2. Keep it Simple. Whatever the directions say to do…do it. Don’t go over the stop with long drawn out explanations. Designers are smart, they know what keywords mean. So, instead of explaining why you made a double purchase, just stated: Double purchase….and whatever else the designer needs from you.
3. Transaction History. People, please, learn what this is…it is your friend and can save you so much frustration down the road. It surprises me how many people don’t know how to do this. You go to SecondLife.com  and log in. On the left, there’s a drop down menu for Account, then a clear and precise option for Transaction History. This will open up a variety of options with your most recent transactions listed, along with other pertinent information. Copy & paste what you need.
4. Be polite & patient. Chances are if you’re having an issue with the fit or not receiving your item, other people might be, too. The designer might be dealing with complaints as quickly as possible. Being nasty and rushing the designer is not going to encourage them to help you any faster.
5. Designers are human, too. Please remember that just like you, designers are people with lives in RL and some even manage to have one in SL. However, they are very busy and deserve some time off without having to hide on an alt. Being courteous takes you a long way.
6. Profiles are important. Please read designer profiles, customer service profiles, etc. Make sure you are contacting the correct person and it might not hurt to double check what your sending to make sure its got all the right info.
7. Legacy names matter! I personally like to sign my notecards with a copy of my calling card. Just type your name into your inventory search and you’ll find yours. This makes it easier for the designer to find you. However, if for some reason a calling card is too difficult for you…-_-…please copy your legacy name, not your display name. You cannot be searched by display name and it is not the designer’s job to play detective to figure out who sent them what.

That’s it for now, my lovelies. However, my regular readers know I love doing these “Dear _______” posts. So, there you have it, the first directed at customers. Happy Shopping!

wearing:
hair:  DOUX – Danna hairstyle
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: –Belleza– Freya
skin: [theSkinnery] Paola

^^Swallow^^ Princess Ears
^^Swallow^^ Princess Bento Rings
_CandyDoll_ Noelia (*new* @ UBER)

pose: [KoKoLoReS] Coffee Break pose pack (includes coffee cup)

But First…

I’m well known for chasing shinies and squirrels. I readily admit to a lack of focus and it has cost me more than one romantic relationship, along the way. However, let me explain that this is generally what happens to me on a day I’m trying to be productive. In fact, let me just give you examples from real life and second life.

Just this morning, I decided to set up a drawer under my new printer that is just for paper, envelopes, and ink, but first I have to empty the drawer and find a place for everything that was in it. I unload the drawer, take most of the items to my bedside table, where I plan to rehome them. I see my pill pot, so naturally I need to take my pills, but I can’t take them with coffee…so I need to get some ice tea, but first let me finish my coffee. So, I sit back down at my desk with my coffee and a cigarette. I begin checking my email, but first lets see what’s going on in Facebook land. I see a gorgeous photo that takes me to flickr, fav it, then notice I have notifications. I check my notifications, see how my last few photos have been doing, thank people for awards and comments. Then decide I should get my blog post published. So, I start doing that, but first let me say good morning to my friend on discord. (Getting the idea?) Oh, I need to do that blog post, but first let me check to make sure I’m posting the one that needs to be done next. I get that done, now checking Facebook one more time before I share the links over there. OMG, that’s hilarious, let me share that real quick. I finally get my blog published and posted, never did check my email. I finish my coffee, grab my cup, look around the room for any other dirty dishes, grab them and head for the kitchen. I get some tea to take my pills with, but first is there anything quick to eat for breakfast? Nothing quick, I’ll have to make something, but first let me go take my pills. I go to get my pills and realize there’s no bag in my trash can…so off I go in search of the trash bags. I find them, pull one out, lay it on the bed, because now I’ve got the genius idea to make this drawer my cleaning supplies. So, now I’m looking for cleaning supplies scattered about the house….this goes on and on throughout my day. It’s a wonder I get anything done at all, but somehow I do manage, despite all the “But first…” moments.

wearing:
hair: TRUTH Beatrix
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [theSkinnery] Paola

BONDI . The Warrior Sunglasses  (*new* @ ManCave)
.:villena:. – Crushed Velvet Puffer
Vinyl – Otherside Mini Dress & Choker (*new* @ Access)

pose: [KoKoLoReS] Coffee Break pose pack
***includes texture change coffee cup

location: 6 Republic (sorry, its closed now)

***If you are reading this on any site that suggests this post was originally published anywhere but SadyStyle by anyone other than Sadystika Sabretooth, you are reading a stolen post.

 

Is This What I’ve Become?

“All the voices in my head are coming to life
They’re getting louder and I’m terrified
How do you run from your own mind?
Is this what I’ve become?
Take it back what have I done”
~Faith Marie – Antidote

wearing:
hair:  Lamb. Fox – Fatpack (*new* @ Uber)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [Glam Affair] Dee

^^Swallow^^ Princess Bento Rings
Scandalize.Elva.TOP. (*new* @ Uber)
Scandalize.Elva.LEGGINGS (*new* @ Uber)
[Gos] Emma Strap Pumps (*new* @ Uber)

pose: [KoKoLoReS] Sadness pose pack (*new* @ Pose Fair)
MINIMAL – Checkpoint Corridor  (*new* @ Uber)

Morning Meditation

Last year when I was going through a particularly rough time, my friend Charlotte gave me a non religious meditation book. Those are surprisingly hard to find in my area. Anyway, its one of my favorite ways to start the day. Reading the daily meditation with a cup of coffee and…*hangs her head*…a cigarette.

So, while I sit here at my desk with my coffee and cigarette, I thought I’d share this morning’s meditation with you.
“To have what we want is riches; but to be able to do without is power.” ~ George Macdonald
Well, George, I’d say you’re quite right there. I  mean it would suck if I couldn’t have a computer or afford internet. It would suck to lose Netflix. I’d be sad if I ran out of coffee (ok, I’d be downright mad) or cigarettes. However, there’s a certain power in knowing that I’ve been without all of those things and more in the past. I not only survived the lack of things, but I found other ways to entertain myself and enjoy life.  I have some rather fond memories of living in a homeless shelter, believe it or not. As there are no guarantees in this life, despite what marketing ads will tell you. The greatest power anyone can have is being able to find joy in the simplest of things. I’m just going to list a few examples of simplistic joys that I find in my daily life that are often taken for granted, but are truly to be cherished.
The way my dog greets me like a long lost soldier returned from way, even though I’ve only been gone 20 minutes. The way my cat mews and purrs at me on the rare occasion that he wants attention. The first bite of a meal I’ve cooked to perfection. The feel of freshly washed sheets on my skin right after a long hot bath. Led Zeppelin on the radio on a breezy summer afternoon. The smell of a bookstore. The joyous sound of children laughing and playing at the pool (even if I don’t like the lil bastards, I still love to hear the sounds of happiness.) The sound of the cicadas in the trees as the sun sets on a warm August evening. No, these are not my favorite things in life, but they are simple joys that make life worth living.

wearing:
hair: [KoKoLoReS] Hair – Bess (*new* @ Hairology)
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara

Astralia – Compatible mesh nails system  (Maitreya Stiletto base)
GingerFish -Nail Applier-Astralia-Bloody Kisses
Astralia – Kitty chain ring with HUD (*new* @ Blush)

BUENO-Olivia Top (*new* @ Kustom9)
BUENO-Cuff Jeans (*new* @ Kustom9)
_CandyDoll_ Saki Heels (*new* @ Uber)

pose by Le Poppycock

scene:
Pseudo– Inked Corner Scene
Apple Fall Cafe Chair
Apple Fall Clawfoot Height-Adjusting Table
Apple Fall Canvas Tote
Apple Fall Crumpled Newspaper
[ kunst ] – Ashtray v3 / Marble #4
SAYO – Trendy Tumblers – Rose Chrome – COMMON (*new* @ PocketGacha)