Sad Girl

Once upon a time, I lived a different kind of life…music takes me on the most delicious journey through my mine field of memories….
Being a mistress on the side
It might not appeal to fools like you
We’ve been around on the side
Wanna be something you would do
But you haven’t seen my man
You haven’t seen my man
You haven’t seen my man
You haven’t seen him
He’s got the fire and he walks with fame
He’s got the fire and he talks with fame
His Bonnie on the side, Bonnie on the side
Makes me so sad, girl
His money on the side, money on the side
Makes me so sad, girl
I’m a sad girl, I’m a sad girl, I’m a sad girl
I’m a sad girl, I’m a bad girl, I’m a bad girl
Being a bad bitch on the side
It might not appeal to fools like you
We’ve been around when he gets high
It might not be something you would do
But you haven’t seen my man
You haven’t seen my man
You haven’t seen my man
You haven’t seen him
He’s got the fire and he walks with fame
He’s got the fire and he talks with fame
His Bonnie on the side, Bonnie on the side
Makes me so sad, girl
His money on the side, money on the side
Makes me so sad, girl
I’m a sad girl, I’m a sad girl, I’m a sad girl
I’m a sad girl, I’m a bad girl, I’m a bad girl
Watch what you say to me
Careful who you’re talking to
Watch what you say to me
Careful who you’re talking to
I’m on fire, baby
I’m on fire
He’s got the fire and he walks with fame
He’s got the fire and he talks with fame
His Bonnie on the side, Bonnie on the side
Makes me so sad, girl
His money on the side, money on the side
Makes me so sad, girl
I’m a sad girl, I’m a sad girl, I’m a sad girl
I’m a sad girl, I’m a bad girl, I’m a bad girl
I’m a sad girl, I’m a sad girl, I’m a sad girl
I’m a sad girl, I’m a bad girl, I’m a bad girl

enough is enough

wearing:
hair: RAMA.SALON – Chiara Hair
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery] Katy (Catwa Applier) toffee (*new* @ C88)
brows: –SU!- Blair Eyebrows +CATWA APPLIER
RedFish – Chronic tattoo (*new* @ ULTRA)

-SU!- Piercing Set 05 Bridge
CODE-5 [ Pamerale ] (*new* @ ROMP)
. a i s l i n g . NoseChains
Cae :: Farfalla :: Necklace (*new* @ ULTRA)
[CX] Shredder Claws – Silver

Scandalize.Mulbery-top & pants. (*new* @ equal10)
Scandalize. MulberyHeels. (*new* @ equal10)

pose: –IC poses- Single Pack 13

scene:
[ keke ] huge cozy up pillow – chevron
220ML – Alabama Style [Closed Bottle]
220ML – Alabama Style [Cup w/ Liquid]
Peaches ‘N Cream – ‘Emotional Baggage’ Handbag Clutter
Peaches ‘N Cream – ‘Kiss & Makeup’ Makeup Clutter
Peaches ‘N Cream – ‘Planet Of the Vapes’ Electric Vape
[Black Bantam] Busy Westie On Fours Rez

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Waiting For Paint To Dry

Regardless of whether you’re a DIY or Salon girl, getting your nails done is like waiting for paint to dry. I’m clearly profiling, but in my neck of the woods the best nail shops are run by Asians, mostly Vietnamese or Korean. Y’all know me, I ask questions. I’d rather sound ignorant for asking a question than be ignorant while assuming I know something I don’t. You’d think a salon full of people wouldn’t make you zone out, but when they’re chattering away in their native language and it all just sounds like high pitched noises to you…well, its easy to zone out. Painting your nails at home, you try to get everything situated before you start, because its going to take a while before you can move about freely. You nail polish is unforgiving! This is when I tend to slip down inside myself and get lost in thoughts. If good things are happening in my life, I can revel in my blessings. I can be grateful and wish good things, send love & light to others. It’s like a fairy tale room in my mind. However, if things are messed up or I’m going through a rough time, that’s when my demons come out to play. Its like getting locked in the attic with a room full of creepy dolls, each one whispering a secret in a creepy little doll voice.

Waiting For Paint to Dry

wearing:
hair:  [RA] Alana Hair (*new* @ ShinyShabby)
hairbase: Just Magnetized – Special Hairbase set 05 for CATWA Skin Fair (*new* @ SKIN FAIR)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
eyes: CURELESS[+] Dilated Eyes
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery]  Iris (Catwa Applier) toffee (*new* @ C88)
lipstick & lashes: HUWE COSMETICS – PACK MATTE COLLECTION (Catwa) HUD APPLIER. (*new* @ SKIN FAIR)
eyeshadow:  Wednesday[+] ~ Glitter Circles
nail polish: alme. Love Ombre – Matte (*new* @ TresChic)

top tattoo: Ambition – Black Tattoo [CAROL G] Maitreya ADD (*new* @ SKIN FAIR)
bottom tattoo: .:AuricA:. Molly Leg Tattoo (*new* @ SKIN FAIR)

[CX] Hell’s Harbinger (Black Out)
Legal Insanity – Lily black tops (*new* @ TresChic)
:::insanya::: JennaShorts – Solid (*new* @ Whore Couture)

pose: FOXCITY. B A D Bento Pose Set (*new* @ Limit8)
FOXCITY. Photo Booth – B A D (Black Tintable) (*new* @ Limit8)

Black Widow

“Love me ‘till you’re dead, you will not forget
You’ll still love me, dead or alive”
~InThis Moment – Black Widow

So, I just woke up after a real strange night and as I sometimes do, I shared the photo with a few friends and asked for suggestions on what to write. Well, Grace said, “You look like some sort of cyber black widow.” Well, that took me straight to one of my favorite bands. So, I’ve paired the photo with some In This Moment and I’ll leave you with that.

I’ll wake and bake for the next post. *grins* That should prove interesting, right?

REWIND5
Yes, the dangerous black widow is to be approached with caution, as the black widow’s bite can cause death
The black widow is easily recognized by her coal black body and red hourglass marking
She encases her victims with silk, and then kills with poison from her fangs

 

wearing:
hair: Doe: Crinkle Fries (*new* @ REWIND)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: Glam Affair – Karina – Catwa Mesh Head Applier – Asia (*new* @ Kustom9)
eyeshadow: Veechi – Moon Shadow (*new* @ REWIND)
lipstick: Wednesday[+] ~ Juliet Lip INK-(*new* @ REWIND)
CODEX_SKULLY NECKLACE -(*new* @ REWIND)
UC_Agony_vest (*new* @ TLC)
//Naberius// The Manticore Nipple Piercings (Black) Maitreya
[CX] Sentinel Tentacles (*new* @ REWIND)
Vinyl – Kito True-Booty Shorts Pak Black

pose: FOXCITY. Me Time Bento Pose Set

scene:
FOXCITY. Photo Booth – Linear (Limited) (*new* @ Limit8)
uK – Vintage Truck Bar Red

 

Demons

Sometimes I’m just at a loss for words, but its as if musicians have crawled into my soul and done it for me. So, yes, this is another song post, but this particular song is pure poetry. I feel it wrapping around me like an invisible shroud.

Jacob Lee – Demons

My heart is weak
Tear it down piece by piece
Leave me to think
Deep in my structure
I think I still love her
But I need some sleep
You’ve taken my breath away
Now I want to breathe
Cause I cannot see what you can see
So easily
I thought my demons were almost defeated
But you took their side
And you pull them to freedom
I kept your secrets and I thought that
You would do the same
Leave me in peace
Caught in my memories
Lost underneath
Deep in my structure
I feel a rupture
From where she should be
You’ve taken my breath from me
Now I want to breathe
Cause I cannot see what you can see
So easily
I thought my demons were almost defeated
But you took their side
And you pull them to freedom
They know my secrets and won’t let me go
Won’t let me go
I thought my demons were almost defeated
But you took their side
And you pull them to freedom
I kept your secrets and I thought that
You would do the same

creeper

wearing:
hair:  #25 Sintiklia – Insta girl – Hair Sky – Naturals (*new* @ Epiphany)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: Glam Affair – Ciri – Catwa Mesh Head Applier – Artic (*new* @ Kustom9)
CURELESS[+] Yokai Chronicles / Hinnagami / RARE
1. [CX] Necronomic Mother – Horns – Silver (*new* @ Epiphany)
6. [CX] Necronomic Mother – Mask – Black (*new* @ Epiphany)
21. [CX] Necronomic Mother – Collar – Mono/M/RARE (*new* @ Epiphany)
E.V.E Shroud of Chains {Black}
*katat0nik* (FEMALE / black) BENTO Iron Cage Hands
ChicModa // Ellen (*new* @ Tres Chic)

pose:  GingerFish Poses – Coquette Blogger pack (*new* @ 4Mesh)

scene:
MINIMAL – Illuminate Backdrop #5 (*new* @ Epiphany)
E.V.E Splashing Droplets Oil v.02

Free

When doing this photo, I couldn’t help but thing of this particular song. While I know I’ve done another music post recently, sometimes that’s just what I’m feeling for the photo. So, here’s another one…YouTube link and lyrics provided, of course. ♥

Broods – Free

I’d lose everything so I can sing
Hallelujah, I’m free
I’m free, I’m free
I’m free, I’m free

I have lived my life so perfectly
Kept to all my lines so carefully
I’d lose everything so I can sing
Hallelujah, I’m free
I’m free, I’m free
I’m free, I’m free
Hallelujah, I’m free

Gritting your teeth, you hold onto me
It’s never enough, I’m never complete
Tell me to prove, expect me to lose
I push it away, I’m trying to move
Hoping for more, and wishing for less
When I didn’t care was when I did best
I’m desperate to run, I’m desperate to leave
If I lose it all, at least I’ll be free

All I want is your attention please
Don’t want your opinion or your fee
Cause the freest I have ever been
I had nothing to show or be seen
I’m free, I’m free
I’m free, I’m free

Gritting your teeth, you hold onto me
It’s never enough, I’m never complete
Tell me to prove, expect me to lose
I push it away, I’m trying to move
Hoping for more, and wishing for less
When I didn’t care was when I did best
I’m desperate to run, I’m desperate to leave
If I lose it all, at least I’ll be free
Gritting your teeth, you hold onto me
It’s never enough, I’m never complete
Tell me to prove, expect me to lose
I push it away, I’m trying to move
Hoping for more, and wishing for less
When I didn’t care was when I did best
I’m desperate to run, I’m desperate to leave
If I lose it all, at least I’ll be free

It’s clear you think that I’m inferior
Whatever helps you sleep at night
Whatever helps you keep it tight
It’s clear you think that I’m inferior
Whatever helps you sleep at night
Whatever helps you keep it tight

Gritting your teeth, you hold onto me
It’s never enough, I’m never complete
Tell me to prove, expect me to lose
I push it away, I’m trying to move
Hoping for more, and wishing for less
When I didn’t care was when I did best
I’m desperate to run, I’m desperate to leave
If I lose it all, at least I’ll be free
Gritting your teeth, you hold onto me
It’s never enough, I’m never complete
Tell me to prove, expect me to lose
I push it away, I’m trying to move
Hoping for more, and wishing for less
When I didn’t care was when I did best
I’m desperate to run, I’m desperate to leave
If I lose it all, at least I’ll be free

Hallelujah, I’m free

white beast

wearing:
hair:  [RA] Mei Hair – Fatpack (*new* @ Candy Fair)
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
mask: [CX] Mara’s Bind (*new* @ K9)
NARCISSE– Raven Silk Dress (*new* @ ULTRA)

pose by Bauhaus Movement
[ isuka ] destiny backdrop

I Do What I Want

So, I had two other posts planned to go ahead of this one, but those damn blogger cunt friends of mine, Grace and Kess, both had similar ideas and outfits. Its not that surprising, really. As we’ve been known to show up at the same places wearing the same outfits, much like Kess and I did today. I refuse to retake my photos or not share the ones I took, because I work hard on what I do, just like they do. However, I am going to wait a few days and if people want to think me a copycat, well, that’s ok, but the three of us all know how we are and its certainly got us in giggles. I love them and sometimes I swear we share a brain! So, I told them I was posting this picture today and showcasing the newest sensation from ChicModa…luckily, Grace is going with the gray version, so make sure you check out her blog, too! As I was going to write about doing what I want anyway, I think its pretty clear that we all do what we want!

do what I want

wearing: 
hair
[monso] My Hair – Kisa
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
skin: Glam Affair – Molly – Catwa Mesh Head Applier – America (*new* @ Arcade)
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
tattoo-7P-Paradise Tattoo
ChicModa // Eleanor Dress // BishBox June 2017
[CX] Soul Grips ( Black ) Female * Maitreya * (unpacked)
SU!– Nylon Stockings /Ripped/ BLACK

pose: GingerFish Poses – Smoked set
background: MINIMAL – Underground Background -1

Devil in Me

“I don’t wanna wake it up
I don’t wanna wake it up
I don’t wanna wake it up
The devil in me”
Halsey- Devil in Me

Have you ever met someone that just brings out the worst in you? They might not have done anything to you, but for some reason there’s just this instant dislike of them? It happens to me from time to time and I’m hoping I’m not the only one. Maybe I’m just the only one willing to admit it. Surely not. When I do meet people like that, I try to be polite and just keep my distance. So, its not really a problem.
Then there’s those people that just run around doing all kinds of dirt to other people. They haven’t done anything to me, that I know of, but I’m not trying to get close to people like that either, but then they go and do something really nasty to someone you love. *sighs* Its really hard to keep my mouth shut in situations like that. I know I should trust the person who has been offended to take care of themselves and most of the time I do. However, in case I never mentioned it before…I happen to be human and with that comes some faults. I know, I know, you thought I was perfect. *laughs* Let me tell you now…there are times when its all I can do to keep myself in check. I’m not talking about threatening someone online. I’m talking about just reading a bitch like a book. Front to back, side to side, up and down…and I’ve been told on a few occasions my words can cut deeper than any knife. Having lost more than one friend in the past to my apparently razor sharp words I really don’t wanna wake up the devil in me.

releasing the demon

wearing: 
hair
.Shi x Messiah : Hair / Unisex . Common 2
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
eyes: CATWA Mesh Eyes Pack w/:Conviction: Viscous Eyes [HUD]
eyeshadow-SU!– Somber Eyeshadow +CATWA APPLIER+
lipstick: -SU!- The Matte Lip Essentials //Catwa BENTO//
skin: Glam Affair – Molly – Catwa Mesh Head Applier – Artic (*new* @ Arcade)
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
tattoo.::Nanika::. Gaia tattoo Black (*new* @ Tres Chic)
piercing.:E.A.Eclipse:.  Nerfertiti Piercing Mouth

Phedora ~ Edwin body harness (*new* @ Somber)
S&P Like A Prayer – clamps black
[CX] Piton Pumps – Black ( Maitreya )

pose by Del May

These Chains

“Even in these chains, you can’t stop me.
Even in these chains, you can’t stop me!”
In This Moment Big Bad Wolf

The song I quoted above is one of my all time favorite songs and the moment I heard it I recognized the struggle with myself in the lyrics. I often find myself wrapped in the chains of circumstances. Too many times those chains of my own. The fight that goes on in my head with myself is a constant one. Perhaps the voice inside me that belittles me at every turn, the one that abuses me mentally and emotionally, the one that urges me towards death and poor choices…perhaps that’s the part of me that was trained to believe I was nothing but entertainment by my father. Perhaps not. Its quite possible that we all have an inner voice that criticizes our every move. That voice of doubt…of worthlessness…our own worst critic….maybe we all have that voice.
I can’t know how loud other people’s ugly little voices yell or scream, but I know that mine can be deafening. However, I can yell back at them just as loud…at times. The last year and a half have lent so much strength to that hateful voice that I’ve had to lean on friends and medications to keep my head afloat. I teetered on a very fine line between life and death, but now? Now, I am fighting back. I’m standing up and I’m breaking those chains, because I will not be my worst enemy anymore. To that awful voice inside my head, I scream, “Even in these chains, you can’t stop me!”

these chains can't stop me_014

hairTableau Vivant \\ Summer Hairplay – Coromuel (*new* @ Arcade)
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara

[CX] Qilin Horns (Silver)
**RE** Cora Arms Harness 1.2
E.V.E Shroud of Chains {Black} Cape
Phedora Belladona ~ Amoret addon Maitreya nyx (*new* @ Arcade)
Phedora Belladona ~ Amoret Maitreya nyx (*new* @ Arcade)
{Luxuria} Baby Girl Stockings (FLF 6/9/17)
Phedora Belladona ~ Edith platforms Maitreya Nyx (*new* @ Arcade)

background made using a spiked box from The Weekend Ruiner
and uK – Mystic Dew Drops Ani Silver

pose created with AnyPose

Apex Predator

Okay, so its been a week of fluffy and I’m quite over it. *laughs* Y’all didn’t expect that madness to last, did you? Good, cuz I’m back and I’m feeling some Otep this morning. Soooo, without further adieu, I give you one of my favorite Otep songs and the lyrics.

She’s pounding on the door
She’s crawling on the floor
Oh, she’s so coy
She’s scratching on the walls
She’s clawing at the gauze
She’s so coy
She’s gnawing on the ropes
She’s pulling at the hooks
She’s so coy
Oh, you know she wants it
The way that she taunts me
Damn, she’s so coy
It’s the Apex Predator
With a sermon for the listener
Seduce & Destroy
Your head upon a stick
Would look really sick
But they would call me crazy
For the way I spoke to it
I’d ask about it’s day
Did it miss me while I was away?
Tight lipped from the stitches
It wouldn’t have much to say
The rest would be kept in a
Tight little dress
Propped up in the corner
A perfect little pet
Locked in a box
So I can keep stock
A trophy to show me
That all is not lost
The writing on the wall
A psalm

apex predator

wearing:
head: CATWA HEAD Kathy
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
tattoo: RedFish – Scafan tattoo
[CX] Lance Piercing (Bento) – Black
::GB::Slave chain necklace(Woman) / Black – Silver
::GB:: Leather short Hoodie(Maireya) / Black
[CX] Luceat Arachne Bra – Obsidian (Maitreya) (*new* @ Epiphany)
[CX] Soul Grips ( Black ) Female * Maitreya *
[VALE KOER] WAIST PANTIES
-SU!- Nylon Stockings /Ripped/ BLACK
[BREATHE]-Kendra Heels

pose by Bauhaus Movement
backdrop: MINIMAL  – Illusion II – *5* (*new* @ Epiphany)

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