Family Ties

“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life.” ~Richard Bach
I haven’t started a blog with a quote that wasn’t a song lyric in a while, but this topic has been on my mind for some time now. Father’s Day occurred only two days ago and as I scrolled through Facebook I saw message after message about people’s fathers. Some were well wishes, some shared memories of fathers past, and then there were people like me that avoided the subject altogether. I can’t know why others avoided the subject, but I know why I did. I even had to tell Skype (yes, outloud) to stfu. Skype had a message that said, “Fathers are people, too!” My response was, “Not all of them! Some of them are monsters!” I don’t think its a secret that I’m another girl on the grid with daddy issues. Given how common abusive fathers seem to be, we’re merely statistics.
However, I’m not going to waste this post or your time bitching about my father. Instead, I want to embrace the blessing of family bonding with people I’ve never even met face to face. Like many other people in Second Life, I am part of a family. I don’t always feel like part of the family, as most of them really don’t talk to me much and to be fair, its not like I go out of my way to hunt them down and pursue conversations either. Yet, I do feel like a few of them would truly be there if I needed them.
I think the truest “family” I have on the grid would probably be the cunts. Now, hold on, don’t get your britches twisted, we call ourselves the Cunt Cult and we’re a group of besties. At the core there’s four of us, there’s a fifth one, but she’s off living the real life. (She fell in love! SQUEEEE!) Kess, Tracy, Grace, and I have built a bond unlike that I’ve ever known before. We’re not a clique. We don’t go around doing the whole mean girls thing, dressing alike, following a leader. Although, if we did, Kess would be it…she’s bossy like that. *laughs* My point is…while some of us don’t have traditional families in real life or even partake in family groups on the grid, we have each other. We have that bond between friends that is as strong, if not stronger, than any family ties I’ve ever known. For that, I am grateful.
I have so many circles of wonderful friends inworld that I am so grateful for and I love them each dearly. Though we may not speak every day and some not even every week, we are there for one another when it counts. I’m also grateful for my fur babies in real life, because they are just as much a part of my family as my mother or my husband. Even though they can’t make me coffee in the morning.
So, whatever kind of family ties you have, hold them close, hold them dear to you heart, and don’t wait for some “holiday” to celebrate them. Tell them today that you love them, because none of us are guaranteed a tomorrow.

family

wearing: 
hair
:  Lamb. Home (June Luxe Box)
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
skin: Glam Affair – Polly – Catwa Mesh Head Applier – Jamaica (*new* @ Arcade)
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
UC_Jane_Fringe_mini_dress_slate (*new* @ Kustom9)
#EMPIRE – Wandflower (June VIP Group Gift)

pose by Double Take
location: The Mill 

#SadyOnMyAss

A few months ago I was over the moon, a little confused, and a teensy bit overwhelmed as I was accepted to blog for Phedora. After my first full month of blogging for them, I won blogger of the month! I couldn’t believe it! This came with a monetary prize, as well as them using one of my pics for their flickr cover and I think their Facebook cover, too. I can’t remember about the last one to be sure. However, one of the other prizes was having a design named after me. I was over the moon. There were going to be shoes named Sady!?!?! A couple of months went by and I saw nothing. I had forgotten all about it until one day, Niki Demonix (wife of Lucifer…seriously) was winding the Phedora VIPs up about the WIP and what was coming to Kustom9, I jokingly asked if it was something fabulous named after me. Imagine my surprise when Niki sends me an IM with a gyazo showing me the edit box on a WIP that read Sadystika panties!!!!! WHAT?!?! Yes!
As crazy excited as I was to hear about this, she then begins a campaign with a hashtag: #sadyonmyass

So, if you’re scrolling through Facebook and noticing that hashtag, you can blame Niki. *laughs* I am finding it rather amusing and I do hope you’ll love the set as much as I do. Feel free to use the hashtag or not, but make sure you check it out, because this set is gorgeous!

Around the same time that this set came out, my best friend, Tracy Weston of GingerFish poses, released her top secret collaboration project for eBento. Its an astounding build called Red Light Queen. Its so big in face, that in order to show you the panties I could really only show you one of the poses inside one of the doors. She does have a full scale demo at the event, so if you love photography…if you love naughty pictures…this is a must have set. You will see it again on my blog, of that you can be sure!

Snapshot_036

wearing: 
hair
:  TETRA – Pineapple Hair (FLF June 16, 2017)
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
skin: Glam Affair – Polly – Catwa Mesh Head Applier – Jamaica (*new* @ Arcade)
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara

Phedora ~ Sadystika Set  (*new* @ Kustom9)

pose & scene: GingerFish Poses – Red Light Queen (*new* @ eBENTO)

Devil in Me

“I don’t wanna wake it up
I don’t wanna wake it up
I don’t wanna wake it up
The devil in me”
Halsey- Devil in Me

Have you ever met someone that just brings out the worst in you? They might not have done anything to you, but for some reason there’s just this instant dislike of them? It happens to me from time to time and I’m hoping I’m not the only one. Maybe I’m just the only one willing to admit it. Surely not. When I do meet people like that, I try to be polite and just keep my distance. So, its not really a problem.
Then there’s those people that just run around doing all kinds of dirt to other people. They haven’t done anything to me, that I know of, but I’m not trying to get close to people like that either, but then they go and do something really nasty to someone you love. *sighs* Its really hard to keep my mouth shut in situations like that. I know I should trust the person who has been offended to take care of themselves and most of the time I do. However, in case I never mentioned it before…I happen to be human and with that comes some faults. I know, I know, you thought I was perfect. *laughs* Let me tell you now…there are times when its all I can do to keep myself in check. I’m not talking about threatening someone online. I’m talking about just reading a bitch like a book. Front to back, side to side, up and down…and I’ve been told on a few occasions my words can cut deeper than any knife. Having lost more than one friend in the past to my apparently razor sharp words I really don’t wanna wake up the devil in me.

releasing the demon

wearing: 
hair
.Shi x Messiah : Hair / Unisex . Common 2
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
eyes: CATWA Mesh Eyes Pack w/:Conviction: Viscous Eyes [HUD]
eyeshadow-SU!– Somber Eyeshadow +CATWA APPLIER+
lipstick: -SU!- The Matte Lip Essentials //Catwa BENTO//
skin: Glam Affair – Molly – Catwa Mesh Head Applier – Artic (*new* @ Arcade)
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
tattoo.::Nanika::. Gaia tattoo Black (*new* @ Tres Chic)
piercing.:E.A.Eclipse:.  Nerfertiti Piercing Mouth

Phedora ~ Edwin body harness (*new* @ Somber)
S&P Like A Prayer – clamps black
[CX] Piton Pumps – Black ( Maitreya )

pose by Del May

These Chains

“Even in these chains, you can’t stop me.
Even in these chains, you can’t stop me!”
In This Moment Big Bad Wolf

The song I quoted above is one of my all time favorite songs and the moment I heard it I recognized the struggle with myself in the lyrics. I often find myself wrapped in the chains of circumstances. Too many times those chains of my own. The fight that goes on in my head with myself is a constant one. Perhaps the voice inside me that belittles me at every turn, the one that abuses me mentally and emotionally, the one that urges me towards death and poor choices…perhaps that’s the part of me that was trained to believe I was nothing but entertainment by my father. Perhaps not. Its quite possible that we all have an inner voice that criticizes our every move. That voice of doubt…of worthlessness…our own worst critic….maybe we all have that voice.
I can’t know how loud other people’s ugly little voices yell or scream, but I know that mine can be deafening. However, I can yell back at them just as loud…at times. The last year and a half have lent so much strength to that hateful voice that I’ve had to lean on friends and medications to keep my head afloat. I teetered on a very fine line between life and death, but now? Now, I am fighting back. I’m standing up and I’m breaking those chains, because I will not be my worst enemy anymore. To that awful voice inside my head, I scream, “Even in these chains, you can’t stop me!”

these chains can't stop me_014

hairTableau Vivant \\ Summer Hairplay – Coromuel (*new* @ Arcade)
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara

[CX] Qilin Horns (Silver)
**RE** Cora Arms Harness 1.2
E.V.E Shroud of Chains {Black} Cape
Phedora Belladona ~ Amoret addon Maitreya nyx (*new* @ Arcade)
Phedora Belladona ~ Amoret Maitreya nyx (*new* @ Arcade)
{Luxuria} Baby Girl Stockings (FLF 6/9/17)
Phedora Belladona ~ Edith platforms Maitreya Nyx (*new* @ Arcade)

background made using a spiked box from The Weekend Ruiner
and uK – Mystic Dew Drops Ani Silver

pose created with AnyPose

Just Breathe

“Wish I was small
In sunny days
A summer light breeze
Could lead me further”
The White Birch ~ Breathe

Sometimes life delivers me some rather low and sudden blows. Its times like these that I want to either curl up in a ball in the comfort of my bed, wrapped in the familiarity of my blankets, pillows, and dreamless slumber…or I want to run as far from the world as possible…to the edge of nowhere and just feel the comfort of the sun on my skin…a warm breeze caressing my flesh. As beautiful and wonderful as the world of Second Life can be, sometimes even here there is no solace from the harsh dark clouds hovering over me in the real world. Despite the fact that logic tell me, “this is temporary” and “this too shall pass.” Sometimes I cannot help but be swallowed up by the overwhelming desperation swirling like the madness of a tornado in my mind. Try as I may, I cannot always beat my demons with the rational of optimism and logic. Some days its all I can do to just breathe.

kaithleen

hair:  Tableau Vivant \\ Summer Hairplay – Sundowner (*new* @ Arcade)
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
eyesCATWA Mesh Eyes Pack
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
tattoo: Vintage Flowers – White Tattoo [CAROL G] (*new* @ Vintage Fair)

EarthStones Crystal Rain Earrings – Aqua
EarthStones Crystal Rain Double Necklace – Aqua
EarthStones Crystal Rain Long Necklace – Aqua
Kaithleen’s Vintage Summer Dress (*new* @ The Liaison Collaborative)

pose by oOo Studio
location: Black Kite

If I Have an Angel

I was born on a Sunday morning. My devote Christian grandmother told my mom that it meant I would have extra angels looking over me. As I was not a particularly graceful child (or adult for that matter) my mother would often say, “Your angels are working overtime today!” As I got older and continued to be anything but graceful, my mother would beg my extra angels to look after me and to have mercy on her. *laughs* I see a lot of memes with angels facepalming that say something about how people’s angels must look watching over them. Every time I see one, I just chuckle. My grandmother passed away when I was eleven. My mother insisted that she joined the ranks of angels looking over me. What occurred in my life the following year was confirmation that there were no angels watching over me.
As I grew older, I would sometimes imagine that there were still a few angels lingering about and just maybe they were dosing out some karma on those that crossed me, but eventually I grew to believe that wasn’t true either. I know some people do believe in angels and I have to say I think its a beautiful sentiment, but for me…nah, I don’t believe in them anymore. However, the concept of angels has always been quite fascinating. I especially love the way they are represented on Supernatural. I realize not all of my readers have seen that show and some may have just started it, so I won’t go into any details and spoil it. The entire concept of God, angels, Lucifer, demons…all of it…ages old, but the way the stories are told on Supernatural almost makes me want to believe in them again. At least that story makes a bit more sense to me, but alas to believe their story means I must also believe in all the monster presented, as well.

angry angel

For now, I’ll just present you with this picture and the thought that if I have an angel watching over me, this is what I think my angel probably looks like…sometimes she is stunned and pointing her finger at me as if to say, “You did it AGAIN!” She would surely be angry and frustrated to say the very least.

lost angel close up

hairTableau Vivant \\ Editorial \ Southern wind – Blacks+Whites
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
skinGlam Affair – Molly – Catwa Mesh Head Applier – Artic (*new* @ Arcade)
eyesCATWA Mesh Eyes Pack
eye applier:Conviction: Viscous Eyes
tearsCURELESS [+] Dragon Tears (v.1)
ears: .:E.A.Studio:. Box Ears Icarus
eyebrowsWarPaint* Hepburn Brow [Catwa] (*new* @ Vintage Fair)
lipstick-SU!– The Matte Lip Essentials
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
tattoo**RE** Surya Tattoo – Common – Silver
nails: Astralia – Compatible nails system (Maitreya Stiletto base)
nail polish: GingerFish-Nail Applier-Astralia- Fairy Glitter-S

.:E.A.Studio:. BOX Collar Oculus Cross
Astralia – Wisdom angel WINGS RARE
.LYBRA . GABRIELLA (*new* @ LIMIT8)
erratic / cerise – panties
#EMPIRE – Impatiens

pose by Del May

scene created in a black box using:
uk – Mystic Dew Drops & Mist Sets
E.V.E Dancing Poison Rain {Silver}

Summer Breeze

“Summer breeze, makes me feel fine, blowing through the jasmine in my mind”
~Summer Breeze – Seals & Croft

This is one of those songs that takes me back to childhood summers in Alabama. As a child I didn’t notice the heat so much, I just knew its warm and the sun is shining, and that meant I could go outside to play. I loved playing outside as a kid. Its not something I see many kids doing where I live unless they’re at the pool. In some ways its kinda sad to see the kids of today more glued to little blue screens than focused on playing tag or hide-n-seek, but I would imagine some of the mothers rest a little easier knowing exactly where their children are, rather than worrying about them getting snatched up or climbing and falling off a scaffold that the workers left behind while working on their apartment building.  *laughs* Yeah, I might have climbed a four story scaffold as a kid, luckily none of us fell, but if our mothers had know what we were doing. *giggles*
From time to time I do see boys outside tossing around a football and because there’s a park next to my neighborhood I can hear the cheers and whistles of soccer (football is you live outside the U.S.) games on occasion. Perhaps its because of where I live that I don’t see a lot of children outside playing, but when I think back to my childhood I’m ever so grateful to have memories of chasing lightening bugs as the sun began to set, because lets face it…we all knew that when those street lights came on, it was time to get our little butts in the house.

I don’t spend nearly as much time outside these days as I did as a child, but again, I’m grateful for the memories of my own. My childhood wasn’t all great, but I truly have some amazing memories worth a visit from time to time and there’s nothing like a summer breeze stirring up the jasmines in my garden to take me back. I hope that summer treats you all well and that you can revisit some of your own beautiful memories. ♥

rh fameshed_001

wearing:
hair: Tableau Vivant \\ Summer Hairplay – Alize – Pack 3 RARE (*new* @ Arcade)
head: CATWA HEAD Kathy
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
tattoo: RedFish – Precious Tattoo (*new* @ Kinky)
makeup (brows/lipstick): A R T E – 40’s MakeUp Pack [Catwa, bento] (*new* @ Vintage Fair)
nail polish on maitreya nailsHello Dave – Nail Appliers – Baroque Pinup 1 (*new* @ Vintage Fair)

MINIMAL – Chiara Glasses -Silver-(*new* @ FaMESHed)
!Rebel Hope – Jasmina Mesh Bikini (*new* @ FaMESHed)

pose: FOXCITY. Formal VOL1-7 (Slim gown)

location: aloha beach