I Don’t Exist

I know I said I’d try not to do the lyrics thing and I’ve done well not to, but I’m dealing with some stuff in the real world right now that I’m not sure I even want to write about or share with the general public…so, the lyrics will speak for me today.

Olivia O’Brien – I Don’t Exist

I’ve been doomed from the start
Everything around me falls apart
So quickly always end up with a broken heart
Even Tylenol can’t fix me
Unless it’s mixed with whiskey

I ain’t even sad, I’m just bored
Nothing can excite me anymore like you used to
Hollywood has lost all its allure
Used to be so pretty
Now it’s just a city

All of these people and all of their friends
Look so good together and I don’t fit in
‘Cause they’re picture perfect
And I’m on the end
Crop me out the photo so they can pretend
Like I don’t exist
Like I don’t exist
Don’t exist
Like I don’t exist (no)
Like I don’t exist
No

When I feel good it never lasts
That’s why you can find me living in a past if you need me
Everybody says this shit will pass
I say it won’t, they don’t believe me
Just tell me to deep breathe

Falling apart
Don’t know what to do, what to do
Looking for someone to save me, I don’t know who
I don’t know who

All of these people and all of their friends
Look so good together and I don’t fit in
‘Cause they’re picture perfect
And I’m on the end
Crop me out the photo so they can pretend
Like I don’t exist
Like I don’t exist
Don’t exist
Like I don’t exist (no)
Like I don’t exist
No

Am I even real?
Am I even real?
Am I even real?
Am I even real?
Am I even real?
Am I even real?
It’s hard to tell when I can’t feel a fucking thing

All of these people and all of their friends
Look so good together and I don’t fit in
‘Cause they’re picture perfect
And I’m on the end
Crop me out the photo so they can pretend
Like I don’t exist (no)
Like I don’t exist
Don’t exist
Like I don’t exist (no)
Like I don’t exist
No

Am I even real?

I don't exist

wearing:
hair: Stealthic – Ivy (*new* @ Kustom9)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [theSkinnery] Amber

^^Swallow^^ Princess Ears
^^Swallow^^ Princess Bento Rings
SU!– Basic Scarf
!APHORISM! Thyme Winter Sweater (*new* @ FaMESHed)
[Cynful] Groovy Tweed Pants (*new* @ C88)

pose: FOXCITY. Power Bento Pose Set
[Bad Unicorn] Budget Bachelor Backdrop – The Arcade Gacha Prize

 

***If you are reading this on any site that suggests this post was originally published anywhere but SadyStyle by anyone other than Sadystika Sabretooth, you are reading a stolen post.

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Hidden Treasure

Have you ever played one of those hidden clue games? There’s several on Facebook, plenty of apps for phones, etc. You find the hidden objects and progress through the story. The picture with the hidden objects usually reflect that particular part of the story. Well, when I initially started setting up this scene….I ended up chasing squirrels all over the internet. What started out as a squirrel’s Halloween party quickly turned into a hidden object picture. Except, you don’t have to find them, they are all listed below with slurls so that you can go grab your own fun Halloween and Autumn decor! Happy shopping!♥

hidden halloween

wearing:
hair:  #Besom~Pesha
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [Glam Affair] Alice Applier

!APHORISM! Ariana Hoody (*new* @ FaMESHed)
Addams // Millie Wool Socks // N*30

FOXCITY. Legs for Days Bento Pose Set

scene: 
*alirium* DwarfForest [OldGold]
*alirium* DwarfForest [Ember]

[ keke ] tree with mattress . all seasons (*new* @ FaMESHed)
[ keke ] willow leaves for ground – maxi

NOMAD // Scattered Leaves

Apple Fall Pinecones & Hazelnuts

JIAN Red Squirrel Collection (*new* @ FaMESHed)
-JIAN Red Squirrel Feeder Tree
-JIAN Red Squirrel (Wanderer)

[Bad Unicorn] ‘Cute Meets Evil Set’ (*new* @ Arcade)
-[Bad Unicorn] Ghost Stand ‘Cute Meets Evil Set’
-[Bad Unicorn] Game Over Backpack ‘Cute Meets Evil Set’
-[Bad Unicorn] Tricked Treats Pumpkin (Arcade Exclusive)
-[Bad Unicorn] Dinosaur Mask ‘Cute Meets Evil Set’ RARE
-[Bad Unicorn] GRRReen Hands

crate Jack O’Lantern Decor ~ Ironwood Hills Gift
crate Nightshade Cloak Rack

.BIRCH Pentagram Torches (*new* @ TLC)

{what next} Fall Harvest Wheelbarrow
{what next} Autumn Bicycle Decor

Dahlia – Newport – Distressed Trinket Box  (*new* @ FaMESHed)
Dahlia – Baby Robert – Antique Lamp – Copper ~ Ironwood Hills Gift

floorplan. vintage crate

hive // extra crates [dark]

SAYO – Vizcaya Garden Party Set – Candles & Leaves

Make Me Vicious

Halestorm-Vicious

You make me vicious
Watch as I make the pain my mistress
You can call me Miss Malicious
I’ll dress you up in stiches
No I cannot resist this
If it don’t hurt I get suspicious
I like to take the knife and twist it
Babe, our love is sacreligious
I’m not scared to admit it
This violence is delicious
What doesn’t kill me
Makes me vicious
I’m not gonna break, I can take
All that you can give, this is survival
Of the sickest
I am not afraid, bring the pain
Watch out ’cause I’m vicious
And I’m not asking for forgiveness
Yeah I make you go ballistic
Your torture is our business
And I won’t leave a witness
I don’t care if you hate me
‘Cause you’re gonna have to face me
And there’s no use in crying
You know I would be lying if I said you could escape me
What doesn’t kill me
Makes me vicious
I’m not gonna break, I can take
All that you can give, this is survival
Of the sickest
I am not afraid, bring the pain
What doesn’t kill me makes me
Vicious
Vicious
Vicious
Vicious
What doesn’t kill me
Makes me vicious
I’m not gonna break, I can take
All that you can give, this is survival
Of the sickest
I am not afraid, bring the pain
What doesn’t kill me makes me vicious
What doesn’t kill me makes me vicious
What doesn’t kill me makes me vicious
What doesn’t kill me makes me vicious, oh!

Hot Rod

wearing:
hair:  MINA – Raven (*new* @ Fetish Fair)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [Glam Affair] Maze Applier [ Catwa ] 007 (*new* @ C88)
piercings: –SU!– Piercing Set 07 Septum & Nose Studs
!APHORISM! Salvy Playsuit (*new* @ MBA)
[BREATHE]-Mikka Heels (*new* @ FaMESHed)
pose: GingerFish Pose Summer Samba set
scene:
(Milk Motion) road to nowhere – Desert Land
KraftWork Gas Station
Culprit Roadtrip Almighty Decor (*new* @ FaMESHed)
[Black Bantam] My Dear Button Toy Poodle Boy Coal  (*new* @ Vanity Event)

Grow or Wilt

People are like dirt. They can either nourish you and help you grow as a person or they can stunt your growth and make you wilt and die. ~Plato

I love this quote, because there’s so much truth to it. What we tend to forget is that we have a lot more control over our personal growth than we give ourselves credit for. We latch onto people, convincing ourselves that we are being loyal. We let people make us sick, we let them wilt us and drain us of our very life force, by trying to please them, avoid confrontations. We don’t want to hurt them. When so often, there’s nothing we’ve done to the other person to justify their actions or attitude. More often than not, it really has nothing at all to do with us. However, we continue to stand by them…allowing them to cast their issues upon us as if we were to blame. And so, the cycle begins. We bow down, we apologize, we plead with them. Then when we’re alone and thinking it over, we’re left confused. What did we actually do wrong? Probably nothing, really.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that when two friends have a disagreement that we should never accept responsibility. I’m talking about toxic people that blame everyone else for their problems. The ones that like to test their friends and point fingers based on paranoia and insecurities. You know, the ones that you really don’t want to spend a lot of time with, because you don’t know what to expect? *shrugs* I’m mostly just thinking in text…stream of consciousness. Rambling, because I hate cutting people from my life. Especially people I love so dearly, but we can only allow so much pain from a “friend” before we have to cut them loose. I have to decide whether I want to grow or wilt.

Where Things Grow

wearing:
hair:   Lamb. Honey (*new* @ FaMESHed)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: Glam Affair – Willow – Jamaica (*new* @ Uber)

!APHORISM! Joonie Top (*new* @ FaMESHed)
!APHORISM! Joonie Maxi Skirt (*new* @ FaMESHed)
Eudora3D LastSummer Clogs (*new* @ Shiny Shabby)

pose: Fashiowl Poses – Here comes the sun (*new* @ Pose Fair)

scene:
[Bad Unicorn] Allora House (*new* @ Uber)
crate Hardwood Smoker Black
07. LAGOM – Hawaiian Party [Pineapple string] (*new* @ TLC)
19. LAGOM – Hawaiian Party [Balloons Yellow] RARE (*new* @ TLC)
Trompe Loeil – Corazon Palm Chair Natural PG
InVerse – MRockPath
uK – Malibu Entry Console Table Wood (*new* @ FaMESHed)
uK – Malibu Entry Succulent Platter (*new* @ FaMESHed)
uK – Malibu Entry Basket Stack (*new* @ FaMESHed)
uK – Malibu Entry Waves Rug (*new* @ FaMESHed)
crate Krusty Kitchen Shelf Full Set
Granola. Carmella Bird Of Paradise.  (*new* @ FaMESHed)
Granola. June’s Pool Lounger.

Can They Truly Be Separate?

I’m a big profile perv. I love to see what people share, how they talk, or whether they’ve decided to keep it blank. Either way, I tend the find the 1st Life tab the most interesting, as so many will put something about keeping RL separate from SL. I assume they mean that they prefer to keep the details of their real lives a secret and quite possibly their second lives are a secret from those in their real lives, as well. However, I am always left wondering does anyone truly believe that its possible to keep them entirely separate?
Isn’t the real you the one typing on the keyboard? Isn’t every thought you share in SL coming from the brain (or lack there of) in your real life head? Don’t you dress to appeal to yourself? How is it possible to be so completely separate unless your entire existence here is a complete and total lie? Even then, you are bound to have a few honest thoughts slip through the cracks. Even a catfish tends to share some truths about themselves.
I suppose its not really important. It’s just something I wonder about from time to time and always makes me look at the people that write that as kind of odd. Why do you need to announce to the world that you’re keeping a secret? As a person with major trust issues, it tends to make me leery of them regardless of their intent and pull away.

aphorism phedora cae prtty

wearing:
hair: pr!tty – Juny – -Short (*new* @ SaNaRae)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: Glam Affair – Mindy

Cae :: Arden :: Necklace (*new* @ FaMESHed)
!APHORISM! Callie Dress (*new* @ FaMESHed)
Phedora ~ Meliantha heels v2 (*new* @ Kinky)

pose: oOo Studio: Ottoman Group Gift

scene:
[Avenge] Total White backdrop (*new* @ Limit8)
[ keke ] peony . group gift spring 2018 (*new* @ FaMESHed)
Ariskea[Cocoli] Outdoor Seat[Green] (*new* @ FaMESHed)
Ariskea[Cocoli] Banana Plant (*new* @ FaMESHed)

Build a Bridge

As shocking as it might be to some, there are actually people out there that don’t like me. I know, crazy, right? I’m sure they have their reasons, but to them I say, “Build a bridge and get over it. Then burn that bridge so there’s no turning back.” My closest friends know I have no filter in either life and there’s not much I’d say behind someone’s back that I won’t say to their face. By no means do I believe that I am anywhere near close to perfect, but one thing I am is honest and straight forward. Which, by the way, makes it impossible to flirt.

As we begin a new calendar week, I want us all to build a bridge and get over it. If we’re carrying around resentments against someone…well, they’re simply weighing us down spiritually and emotionally. So, once you’ve built your bridge throw those resentments right into the water and let them go. While life is the longest thing any of us will ever do, none of us know how soon it will end. Let’s not waste whatever precious time we have left on hate and resentments. I raise my cup of coffee to you all and hope that this week is a good one for all of you.

aphorism

wearing:
hair: Lamb. Sweet (*new* @ FaMESHed)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: Glam Affair – Mindy – Catwa Mesh Head Applier – Jamaica (*new* @ Kinky)

hairbase: Just Magnetized – Special Hairbase set 05
lipstick: –SU!- Agatha Lipstick Nudes

SU!- Bento Piercing Set 06
Astralia – Spring wings Hand Jewel  (*new* @ FaMESHed)
Bel Aire Plt Womens WeddingBand by Chop Zuey
::SG:: CrossNails
:BAMSE: Clockwork Heart Choker
! [Cynful] Wish Necklace Set

!APHORISM! Deanna Top (*new* @ FaMESHed)
.miss chelsea. Juno Jeans Classic V2
!APHORISM! Emi Boots (*new* @ Kustom9)**until the 10th**

pose: //elephante poses// Dua (*new* @ Pose Fair)
background: [Poetica] Spring Meadow

This Week is Finally Over

Well, its been quite a week. Between the DDOS attacks and trying to get FaMESHed opened on time. Well, that simply didn’t happen. We had to postpone the opening by one day, because so many designers were affected. However, I promise you all it was worth the weight. Although I went with a black and white image, you can still see how incredible the designs are that are being offered around the grid at the moment, particularly at FaMESHed. There is goodness around every corner and if you can’t find anything to wear, you’re just not trying. *laughs*

take a selfie

wearing:
hair:  :::Phoenix::: Naomi Hair  (*new* @ FaMESHed)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery]  Saska
*AvaWay* DOLLY ROPE CHOKER
Dahlia – Kahlida – Cuff (*new* @ FaMESHed)
!APHORISM! Eve Jumpsuit (*new* @ FaMESHed)
Scandalize. DessieHeels (*new* @ Shiny Shabby)

pose: FOXCITY. Selfie VOL2 Bento Pose Set (*new* @ Blush)
FOXCITY. K-POP Star 2. (5) Hush – Black (Common) (*new* @ Arcade)

Farewell, Summer

It would seem that while spring came early in my area, summer arrived on time. Now it seems that summer might be leaving on time, as well. This is highly unusual for where I live. August and September seem to be two of the hottest months of the year. Don’t get me wrong. July and August were more than happy to carry the load this year, but the temperatures have dropped significantly this past week and according to the weather predictions, they won’t be climbing back up anytime soon. I don’t mind, because I absolutely love fall. Plus, in SL its whatever season I want it to be! I’m pleased as punch to bid farewell to summer…its about to be cardigan season!!!

so long summer

wearing:
hair: MINA – Milena (*new* @ FaMESHed)
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
EF: Sequoia Necklace – Trio (*new* @ FaMESHed)
Tres Blah – Atomic Crop Top (August Luxe Box)
!APHORISM! – Jane Boyfriend Jeans  (*new* @ FaMESHed)
fri. – Edie Sandals

JIAN ‘dorable Danes 2. Adult Companion RARE (*new* @ Arcade)
JIAN ‘dorable Danes 4. Blue Companion Pup (*new* @ Arcade)

pose: KlubWerK.poses – Madison set
location: Baja Sands

End of the Day

You know how at the end of the day, we shed our clothes, we wash our faces, and brush our teeth? Some of us shower or bathe before bed, too? Then the minute we lay down the events of the day start swirling about in our heads. No, not you, Troy, I know you are one of the few that can just decide to go to sleep and be out like a light the minute your head hits the pillow. Just shut the hell up, not talking to you or any of the people like you! #hatechuall I’m talking to the people like me…the ones that don’t go straight to sleep. Those of you that actually have to wait for sleep to arrive. Mind you, I’m not really hating on those that have Troy’s ability to just sleep. I’m actually quite jealous. However, since I’ve never in my life known what that’s like so for me, its a waiting game. Don’t really want to talk so much about that right now though. *swats Troy* Stop distracting me, will ya?
Ok, so end of the day…you shed your clothes and dirt, right? Yeah, that’s where I was…and then you lay down…yeah…and the day comes back swirling around in your head…now where was I going with that? I think I was going to talk about how we should wash away all the negative thoughts about the day by focusing on the positive things that happened. By remembering how loved we are by those that we have no doubt love us. To remember the ones we love and to really focus on the best parts of the day. Yeah, that’s where I was going with that. I know a lot of people do meditations in the morning or read a positive quote for the day, to try and get the day started on a good note, but why not do the same at night to insure a restful more peaceful sleep. Its something I’ve been trying lately and it seems to be making a difference. So, for those of you like me that have trouble falling asleep at night…give it a try…it can’t hurt, right?

end of the day

wearing:
.:E.A.Studio:. BOX Bashim Bracialets (*new* @ Tres Chic)
!APHORISM! Maya Tank & Panties
Phedora ~ Sugar Flip Flops (June Cutie Loot)

pose by BellePoses – Hello Sailor set (*new* @Vintage Fair)

scene:
18.erratic / lsm – clothing clutter – woman
DRD – Rustic Bathroom – Towel Rack
NOMAD // Improvised // Laundry Basket and Soap
DRD – Rustic Bathroom – Bathtub
+Half-Deer+ Spilled Liquid – Large Puddle – Water Set

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