I Tried

When I tell someone that I don’t believe I have a true love or that you no longer have a heart to give, they immediately feel sorry for me. They want to save me and convince m that there is a true love out there for me somewhere.  Meanwhile, I have a man telling me that anyone would be a fool not to love me, but does he? How could he when he is with another? I have tried to believe that there is something special out there for me, but I’ve surrendered to my fate. I know now that my place is in the shadows. I know that my place is a secret hideaway, for it in the dark that the truth hides. Whatever there is about me that people find so lovable, there must be something equally wretched that sends them away. And that’s ok. I know now that I tried. That is not my life. Love has eluded me repeatedly and now? I’m done. I tried.

I tried
Sometimes I feel that I am what I deserve
A hundred crimes, no way to pay them off
So when quiet fills the night and you hurt
Know I am sorry for all that you lost

wearing:
hair: no.match_ ~ NO_WONDERLAND (*new* @ Enchantment)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
ears: ^^Swallow^^ Shiny Ears
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery] Katy (Catwa Applier) toffee (*new* @ C88)
brows: –SU!- Blair Eyebrows +CATWA APPLIER

[Avenge] Universe necklace (long) (*new* @ TresChic)
[Avenge] Universe earring (*new @ TresChic)
ChicModa&e.marie // Knot Dress (*new* @ Whimsical)

pose by Del May
Paparazzi – Slum Riverside – BACKDROP – green (*new* @ Limit8)

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Sweet Surrender

It’s a song post, because this is a classic song that I remember from my early childhood. It also kinda fits the mood of the photo. You can read anything you want into this post, but you’re imagination is your responsibility. If you make assumptions, remember that YOU made them.

Bread – Sweet Surrender

Baby I’m through runnin’ it’s true
I’d be a fool to try to escape you
Maybe I’m beat but oh what a sweet surrender
You keep your rights, I’ll take your nights
No one can lose when we turn the lights out
Tastin’ defeat, lovin’ that sweet surrender
I’m givin’ up myself to you but I didn’t really lose at all
I gave the only love I’ve known and it never hurt me to fall
Now that it’s done, so glad you won
I know our lives have only begun now
No more retreat, only my sweet surrender

ready for dessert

wearing:
hair:  RAMA.SALON – Sarah Hair (*new* @ Shiny Shabby)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: Glam Affair – Mindy
Scandalize. Dexi-TOP (*new* @ Tres Chic)
Scandalize. Babydoll.Thong.
SU!– Nylon Stockings BLACK
Essenz – Punta Cana

pose: . Infiniti . – Saucy

scene:
_CandyDoll_ Dolly Room Gatcha – (*new* @ Epiphany)
-_CandyDoll_ RARE – Dolly Room
-_CandyDoll_ RARE – Dolly Queen Bed
-_CandyDoll_ Dolly Lamp
-_CandyDoll_ Dolly Butterfly Frame
-_CandyDoll_ Dolly Yummy Plate

Heavenly

We all knew it would happen. Break ups are like hangovers. We swear we’re never going to do it again, because the pain is just too much. Then someone walks into you life and out of no where everything changes in an instant. So, here we are….me, back in a man’s arms. Not just for a photo, but because its my favorite place to be right now. It feels good to smile so much again.

Forbidden
We can dance forever and pretend
I wanna, I wanna stay ’til the end

Gotz is wearing:
hair: Unorthodox Manny Hair
head: CATWA HEAD Daniel
Stretched ears-Omimi- [MANDALA]
body: [Signature] Gianni – Body
[VALE KOER] LEATHER BIKER JACKET
[VALE KOER] TECHWEAR PANTS

wearing:
hair: Magika – Good Vibes
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery]  Iris (Catwa Applier) toffee
Kaithleen’s Corky Dress (*new* @ Tres Chic)

pose: [ATI] Adore 2 (*new* @ Suicide Dollz)
[Bad Unicorn] Block Views Backdrop

Do You Know Me?

Keeping this one short and sweet…leaning on a song & lyrics. It’s a message and if you don’t get it, then it wasn’t meant for you. I just want to know if you’re really reading. *winks*

John Mayer – Do You Know Me?

It’s just the strangest thing
I’ve seen your face somewhere
An early evening dream,
A past life love affair
Do you know me, at all?
Do you know me, at all?
In all my reverie
I thought I felt us there
A feather in my hand,
A flower in your hair
Do you know me, at all?
Do you know me, at all?
Do you know me, at all?
Do you know me, at all?

do you know me

wearing:
hair: DOUX – Coco hairstyle (*new* @ TresChic)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [Avenge] Heather skin applier for Catwa – pale

lashes: [POUT!] Pretty Lashes – CATWA applier
eyes: –SU!- [HUD] Isolabella Eyes
eyeshadow: –SU!- Monochrome Eyeshadow +CATWA APPLIER+
lipstick: –SU!- Leandra Lipstick 02 +CATWA APPLIER+

CURELESS [+] Sterile Face Bandages
[Atomic] Kitten Collar
**RE** Kitty Pearls Necklace
Birdy – Backstage – Lace – Lara – White

Quasi – 6 Ulysses Painting (*new* @ Imaginarium)
Quasi – 9 Sparta Motherfucker Painting (*new* @ Imaginarium)

Waiting For Paint To Dry

Regardless of whether you’re a DIY or Salon girl, getting your nails done is like waiting for paint to dry. I’m clearly profiling, but in my neck of the woods the best nail shops are run by Asians, mostly Vietnamese or Korean. Y’all know me, I ask questions. I’d rather sound ignorant for asking a question than be ignorant while assuming I know something I don’t. You’d think a salon full of people wouldn’t make you zone out, but when they’re chattering away in their native language and it all just sounds like high pitched noises to you…well, its easy to zone out. Painting your nails at home, you try to get everything situated before you start, because its going to take a while before you can move about freely. You nail polish is unforgiving! This is when I tend to slip down inside myself and get lost in thoughts. If good things are happening in my life, I can revel in my blessings. I can be grateful and wish good things, send love & light to others. It’s like a fairy tale room in my mind. However, if things are messed up or I’m going through a rough time, that’s when my demons come out to play. Its like getting locked in the attic with a room full of creepy dolls, each one whispering a secret in a creepy little doll voice.

Waiting For Paint to Dry

wearing:
hair:  [RA] Alana Hair (*new* @ ShinyShabby)
hairbase: Just Magnetized – Special Hairbase set 05 for CATWA Skin Fair (*new* @ SKIN FAIR)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
eyes: CURELESS[+] Dilated Eyes
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery]  Iris (Catwa Applier) toffee (*new* @ C88)
lipstick & lashes: HUWE COSMETICS – PACK MATTE COLLECTION (Catwa) HUD APPLIER. (*new* @ SKIN FAIR)
eyeshadow:  Wednesday[+] ~ Glitter Circles
nail polish: alme. Love Ombre – Matte (*new* @ TresChic)

top tattoo: Ambition – Black Tattoo [CAROL G] Maitreya ADD (*new* @ SKIN FAIR)
bottom tattoo: .:AuricA:. Molly Leg Tattoo (*new* @ SKIN FAIR)

[CX] Hell’s Harbinger (Black Out)
Legal Insanity – Lily black tops (*new* @ TresChic)
:::insanya::: JennaShorts – Solid (*new* @ Whore Couture)

pose: FOXCITY. B A D Bento Pose Set (*new* @ Limit8)
FOXCITY. Photo Booth – B A D (Black Tintable) (*new* @ Limit8)

Stand By Me

So, recently, my friend Alvie posted a broad question to Facebook asking if other people got transported to a memory instantaneously by a certain song. Of course, I think that must be true for almost everyone, right? Well, some songs bring good memories, some sad, and some traumatic. For me, “Stand By Me” has always been a trigger to a traumatic memory. Its hard to be so turned off by such a popular song, however, I have finally found the cover of it that not only do I love the cover, but I can actually enjoy the song for the first time in 30yrs. I’ve tossed the link at the bottom of the page. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do now. ♥

electronic love
Whenever you’re in trouble won’t you stand by me

Sady is wearing:
hair:  pr!tty – Tory – short (Feb PocketGacha)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery]  Saska (Catwa Applier) honey
Scandalize. NAGIA (*new* @ TresChic)

Mr X (he’s remaining anonymous) is wearing:
hair:  { Speakeasy } Jordyn Hair
head: CATWA HEAD Daniel
ears: ^^Swallow^^ Gauged Ears
body: [Signature] Gianni
skin: L’Etre
Tattoo: TAOX
[MANDALA]SINRA Rings Season3
AITUI – Rolled Blazer
Pathos Dark Blue Jeans (owned by louine Dover)

pose: FOXCITY. Usie (Group Gift)
FOXCITY. Photo Booth – Rose Bathroom (*new* @ Blush)

 

Will This Phase Ever End?

I’m so far behind and as I’ve mentioned before, some of my posts get rejected from time to time. So, brace yourself for songs and quotes in the upcoming week as I play catch up.

Nothing More – Jenny

A little sleep, a little slumber
A little folding of the hands
Left you weak, left you hungry
When there’s supply you still demand
You’re beginning to drag the ones you love down
Will this phase ever end?
A thousand arms to hold you
But you won’t reach for any hands
‘Cause I don’t feel like I’m getting through to you
Let me paint this clear, life is short, my dear
See your mother here, her last painful year
I wish you only knew
She stuck around for you
Maybe you should just fall
Leave the world and lose it all
And if that’s what you need
To finally see
I’ll be with you through it all
Bring on the pills, roll that dollar bill
Medicating will never heal
Relapse, rehab, repeat
Always thinking about the me, me, me
Self-destruct, spiral down
Until your want becomes your need
Please get up like I know you can
Or forever love the fall
‘Cause I don’t feel like I’m getting through to you
Let me paint this clear, life is short, my dear
See your mother here, her last painful year
I wish you only knew
She stuck around for you
Maybe you should just fall
Leave the world and lose it all
And if that’s what you need
To finally see
I’ll be with you through it all
I can’t stand to see you down
Strung out, off the wagon, and unwound
Steady, steady, Oh God, Jenny
I can’t bear to hear the sound
Of your body hitting the ground
Oh Jenny Jenny Jenny
Stuck around for you
He stuck around for you
Stuck around for you
Maybe you should just fall
Leave the world and lose it all
And if that’s what you need
To finally see
She loved you through it all
Maybe you should just fall
And if that’s what you need
To finally see
She loved you through it all
I’ll be with you through it all!

I have a story to tell
wearing:
hair:  TRUTH VIP February – Carla
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery] Saska (Catwa Applier) honey
ChicModa // Cami (*new* @ TresChic)
The Annex – Tessa Thigh Highs (*new* @ Enchantment)

pose: GingerFish Poses – Bad at Love

I Need Noise

So, if there’s one thing I hate in life…its a fucking liar. I understand that we all tell white lies…”You look great!”…”No, those pants don’t make your ass look huge.”…”Sure, I’d love to help you clean the house.” I’m not talking about that little shit. I’m talking about the big shit. Naturally, I’ve talked about how if someone lies about the little stuff, they’re bound to lie about the big stuff. The real rub is when you find out the truth. If you’re going to tell a big ass lie…then lie til you die, muthafucka! Cuz I’ve had enough lies to last me a fucking lifetime and I don’t need anymore. So, if you’re one of those perpetual liars that doesn’t “mean” to lie or things tend to “just happen” to you frequently….then not only are you lying to those around you…you’re lying to yourself. So, take your lies and shove them up your ass….oh and do it way the fuck over there, cuz I’m not having it. Trust issues? Nah, I don’t have trust issues. I’ve just finally figured out that trust is as big a lie as love.
When I realize that I’ve been lied to by someone I thought I could trust? Wow, yeah, I need noise, because if I crawl too deep into my head with the ammunition, my demons are going to have a field day. Don’t worry, I won’t believe anything anyone tells me for a long while to come….so once I get through this shit, I won’t worry about being lied to, cuz I’ve finally seen the light.

bitch in chains
I don’t have an agenda
All I do is pretend to be ok so my friends
Can’t see my heart in the blender
Lately, I’ve been killing all my time
Reading through your messages my favorite way to die
Take my head and kick it in
Break some bread for all my sins
Say a word, do it soon
It’s too quiet in this room
I need noise
I need the buzz of a sub
Need the crack of a whip
Need some blood in the cut
I need noise
I need the buzz of a sub
Need the crack of a whip
Need some blood in the cut
I need blood in the cut
I need blood in the cut

wearing:
hair:  DOUX – Kimiko (*new* @ Tres Chic)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery] Saska (Catwa Applier) honey (*new* @ REWIND)
lipstick: –SU!– Jezebel Lip Gloss
tattoo: [ATI] Helen…
11. :BAMSE: Personal Choker – Bitch (*new* @ Whimsical)
_CandyDoll_ Nina Top (*new* Mainstore)
_CandyDoll_ Nina Pants (*new* Mainstore)

pose: FOXCITY. Lolita Bento Pose Set

scene:
uK – With These Chains Photobox
E.V.E {Chained to You} Chains Silver (T)

Fantasy

Love is such a complicated thing. Its never as easy as the movies, is it? Meet cute, can’t stop thinking about each other, then another conveniently timed accidental meeting, then proceed through a montage of dating scenes, obligatory sex scenes, a teensy hiccup to show how they handle a fight, and then happily ever after. *sighs* Sadly, reality isn’t quite that easy.

We’ve all been there…a crush on the man that is dating someone you know. Perhaps you don’t know them very well, but she’s certainly nice enough and you’d never hurt her. So, you watch with longing for a while and eventually just let go. Hope is lost. Its not meant to be, she was there first and that’s that, isn’t it? Then some time passes and you find out he’s not with her anymore. You haven’t seen her in years. You don’t even know where she wound up. Oh goddamnit, he’s already dating someone else. *sighs* You don’t know her at all. Hmmm. Oh he’s not happy? That’s too bad. *hangs her head* You watch with a guilty belly hoping that this might be your chance….but your chance to what exactly? It’s been a crush all these years. What do you really know about him? What if he turns out to be a jerk. Is this one of those times the fantasy is better than the reality? Probably. *walks away*

do what's right
If I could force my heart, my ears, my mind
And eyes to get in line
Maybe I’ll find something real
Not a fantasy so divine
Let myself down each time
Let myself down each time

wearing:
hair: DOUX – Shawnte (*new* @ Tres Chic)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
Dahlia – Jennifer – Sunglasses  (*new* @ REWIND)
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: Glam Affair –- MaryJane
AZOURY – Don Jewelry (*new* @ TLC)
(Yummy) Raining Diamonds (*new* @ C88)
LYBRA . MATTIE (*new* @ REWIND)

pose: FOXCITY. Breather VOL2 Animated Pose Set (*new* @ Kustom9)

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