I’ve never understood why someone’s past matters to someone that wasn’t even part of it. If you didn’t kill someone or molest a child or torture animals, I just don’t think it should matter. Who cares how many people someone dated or fucked or almost married? Why should any of that matter to someone that’s not been part of your life until now? I’ve heard so many people, especially men, just lose their shit over the amount of lovers someone’s had in their past. What I don’t understand is why? A woman can push a baby from her vagina and still remain tight. So, there’s no stretching of the vagina that comes from having multiple dicks up in it. We bathe. We move forward. We hopefully recover from trauma, both mental and physical. So, why is it some ridiculous bother? I don’t care how many lovers someone I’m with has had in the past. I prefer the “don’t ask” rule, but if you do ask, be prepared for the worst answer you can imagine. If you’re not prepared for that, then don’t ask. No one in the past matters. If they did, they wouldn’t be in the past.
foundation hair: tram K1108 hair @ C88 head: LeLUTKA Lake Head 3.1 head skin: [Glam Affair] Alice Skin [Lelutka EvoX] @ C88 body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.4) body skin: VELOUR: The “Ipanema Body” for Legacy
fashion Orsini Jewelry RACHEL Ring Bento dust bunny . maple market bouquet Just BECAUSE Reagan Dress @ FaMESHed
Ever since I was a little girl, dragonflies have brought me comfort. I remember my friends were terrified by them. Their name alone does seem a bit ominous. However, I was always fascinated by them. Their beautiful quad wings and the iridescent sheen of their bodies almost hypnotized me. Of course, I also thought they were related to fairies. *laughs* The thing is that no matter how bad things were in my life, the moment I saw a dragonfly I felt like God was telling me that everything was going to be alright. While I no longer believe in God, I do very much believe that everything is going to be alright whenever I’m surprised by a dragonfly…whether a real one or not. To this day, they continue to bring me comfort. It’s probably the only insect to ever bring me comfort…lol.
foundation hair: DOUX – Sam hairstyle @ Kustom9 head: LeLUTKA Avalon head skin: [Glam Affair] Rayne Skin [Lelutka EvoX] @ UBER body: [LEGACY] Meshbody Perky body skin: VELOUR: The “Ipanema Body” for Legacy
cosmetics -SU!- Aneira Eyebrows eyeshadow: IDTTY FACES – LELUTKA LOVE LETTER COLLECTION #3 lipstick: IDTTY FACES – LELUTKA LOVE LETTER COLLECTION #7 .: Vegas :. Tattoo Applier Earthly
fashion (Yummy) Tuca Neckace & Earrings ^^Swallow^^ Indira Septum Ring (Yummy) Daisy Ring Collection LOTUS. Chrome Nails Capsule by DaD “Zoe Dress” @ Uber Capsule by DaD “Zoe Slouch Boots” @ Uber
I was hanging out with some of my favorite people last night and one of them made a comment about “lazy homeless” people. I quickly jumped on the defensive. As I have been homeless on a number of occasions in my 20s and there was nothing lazy about my situation. Of course, I encountered loads of other homeless people during those times. I had to explain that while there are some people that simply don’t want to be responsible members of society. However, the bulk of the homeless people I encountered were anything but lazy. As being homeless is not an easy way to live. People that live in shelters must abide by an excess of rules put in place to keep things as orderly as possible. There are curfews and requirements one must continuously make to continue their stay and many shelters have limitations on how long people can reside there. I don’t have specific numbers, but I’d dare say that the majority of homeless people have not chosen that lifestyle as their preferred method of existence. Plus there are far more living without shelter. That is NOT an easy way to live. Its beyond dangerous. Once a person is homeless, it is safe to say that getting back on your feet is ridiculously hard. As I pointed out to my friend, what is the first thing you do the morning of a job interview? Shower, right? If you have no home, you have no shower and probably don’t have much in the way of a clean nice outfit to wear. Anyway, the point is, don’t be so quick to judge people in situations you can’t begin to understand. Turns out that one of the other people there had also experienced homelessness and was glad that I spoke up. Meanwhile, our uninformed friend was enlightened and apologized. I didn’t find the apology necessary, but it was appreciated. I was especially glad that we were all able to have such a beautiful conversation about life without hate or disgust. I won’t name them, because too many private matters were discussed and only my part of the story is mine to tell. I suspect they might read this and because they might I want to give them to know something. I love you and I’m so grateful for your friendship. I look forward to getting to know you even better in the years to come. ♥
Clearly that has nothing to do with the photo. So, I’d like to add that if you have not gotten the Spring Decocrate, this set from Serenity Style is worth getting it, just for this set. Even if you didn’t pre order it, its worth the price. Go grab yours. I have to pay full price, too, cuz I forgot to pre order…lol. You’ll also notice I’m wearing the new Lost Girl dress from Vinyl. This is the first dress Vinyl has released in ages and its so cute! AND it goes perfectly with these new wedges that Breathe released at the Arcade! So get out your wallets, its time to go shopping!!
hair: DOUX – Lucy hairstyle @ LEVEL head: LeLUTKA Nova Head 2.5 body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3) skin: PUMEC — SARAH @ Kustom9 tattoo: *Bolson / Tattoo – Antheia @ Anthem
..::THOR::.. Think Green Gacha Set @ Arcade -..::THOR::.. Hanging Crate -..::THOR::.. Organic Hanging Tote -..::THOR::.. Vintage Table Fan – Mint -..::THOR::.. Greenhouse Stool – Cream -..::THOR::.. Owl & Books -..::THOR::.. Vintage Watering Can – Mint
Apple Fall Blanket Curio Apple Fall Books – Arrangement 7 Apple Fall Books – Arrangement 8 Apple Fall Books – Arrangement 10 West Village Sculpted Turtle – Verdigris
When I was a little girl, I used to ask my mom questions about the devil all the time. A bit of foreshadowing in real life, perhaps? To be fair, I think my curiosity was stirred up by foods. My parents had a fondness for deviled ham and it came in this little can that was wrapped in paper. On that paper was the iconic symbol of a devil. Red, pointy tail, hooves…not greatly detailed, just a bit of clip art before that was really a thing. There was also devil’s food cake which was amazing and compared to angel’s food cake…I found the devil to be the better cook. My mom would also make comments to about the cats having the devil in them when they were especially mischievous, energetic, or loud. As an only child, I love the cats the most when they were active, so again, I had this positive connection to the devil. The funny thing is, I remember asking my mom to tell me all about the devil, but for the life of me, I cannot remember anything she would say. I’m guessing she probably changed the subject and tried to steer my attention to Jesus or angels. Those topics just always put me right to sleep. I’m quite sure if my mom was to look back on my early childhood she was say there were a lot of clues about what was to come. *grins*
Why be a Redangel, when you can be a RedDevil, Tracy?
So, if you’ve read my blog regularly in the past couple of years, you probably know how dark things got for me. How deep in a hole of depression I was sinking and that I felt hopeless to do anything about it. However, recently, I have turned a page. I have found hope for the first time in many years. If it was not for the amazing friends that I have in Second Life, I honestly don’t think I’d be alive today. There were so many times that I wanted to give up, but thanks to an incredible support system I am still here and I am moving forward in the most positive direction I’ve taken in many years. The road ahead is not an easy one, but I have not come all this way, through all this crap, to give up now.
Some days from start to finish are just bad. I suppose I’d prefer all the bad to happen in one day to get it over with, but when the bad is sprinkled throughout all my days and ends up being the icing on a good day? Well, its like someone shitting on the last piece of cake. I swear to god, nothing ruins a good day worse than that one bad thing that just crushes my heart right at the end of the day when you were looking forward to something good!
Like looking forward to spending time with someone all day just so they can leave you hanging to go talk to an ex? Ugh! It’s the worst, right? Of course, its not really the worst, but at the moment it’s happening, it feels like a punch in the gut. Or looking forward to having those leftovers from last night when you get home, only to discover someone threw them out. They didn’t even eat them, they just wasted them by throwing them away! UGH! Your mouth was all set for that…NOW what are you gonna eat? Nothing is going to be as good as what you were craving all day long. Nothing.
So, do we go to bed with the bitterness of the bad day still in our mouths? We shouldn’t, cuz imagine how bad that’s gonna taste when we wake up? That cat better watch out, cuz someone is going to suspect it of shitting in their mouth! So, how do we fix it? How do we freshen our mental breath?
We could act out. We could do something reckless that will feel fully justified at the time, but will fill us with regret later. We could sit and cry about it, but does that really change anything? I mean, sometimes it helps a little, but its not going to change how we feel. The truth is, the only real thing to do is to change our minds. Maybe that crappy thing happened for a reason. We may never even know the reason, but we can change our perception and accept that it has happened for a reason. Maybe its a red flag trying to get our attention. Maybe we needed to make a better choice and this tiny bit of intervention was just the thing we needed to really think about our decision.
If none of that works, then a glass of wine, a shot of whiskey, smoking a bowl/joint/blunt, or even popping a xanax/valium/klonopin can helps us relax enough to chill out. Cuz really, if its a small thing like one of the things I mentioned above? Isn’t that kind of petty when it comes to the big picture?
We just gotta get over our expectations and accept that some times things aren’t going to go exactly as we hoped. It doesn’t mean the world is over….and who knows, we might just get a blessing soon that surpasses that pesky crap that we gave the power to ruin our day. Yeah, bottom line? We give that crap the power it has…take that power away…step outside ourselves to see things with a different perspective and suddenly it doesn’t feel quite so deep.
Cutting back on the number of stores that I officially blog for is one of the hardest things for me to do. Choosing which stores to stay with and which to let go of can simply do my head in, but its part of what I have to do if I am to remain a responsible blogger. It’s my duty to do my best for each brand I represent and the minute I know that is no longer possible, I have to face the truth and cut them loose. It’s heartbreaking to say the least. Especially when I have been with a brand from the beginning. However, as I continue along my blogging journey I evolve just like everyone else. My tastes change, my style changes, my feelings change and thus my blog changes, as well as my photos.
The important thing for me to remember is why I blog in the first place. I blog for me, first and foremost. I blog for the therapeutic value and the creative outlet. The past few months, I’ve discovered that’s all I do. I log in to SL simply to blog and I work. I love both, but there has to be more. SL is not a job, nor do I ever want it to feel like one. I love the jobs I have and I love my blog. I love the stores that I represent and those I’ve had to part ways with over time. I have never blogged for a store that I didn’t believe in nor will I.
It’s time for me to find room for more than blogging and work in my Second Life. That’s why I had to resign my position from a total of 9 stores and events this past weekend. *sighs* I only hope the brands know how difficult the decision was and that I will always be grateful for the opportunities afforded me while blogging for them.
Sometimes I really surprise myself at how stupid I can be. (Stop growling, Troy!) Regardless of all my experiences, I can still be so ridiculously naive, that it takes a close friend to point out something that should be blatantly obvious to me. Okay, short story, even shorter, I let someone I had just met disrespect me and essentially assault me. Yet, somehow, my shock exceeded all logic.
Not so long ago, I would have read that person like a book. I would’ve come so unglued on his ass that there would be no question about how I felt about it all. My reaction would have been instantaneous and rightfully so. Then I would have blasted his ass on Facebook and warned every girl I know!
It’s as if my common sense has begun to decay, like this shanty town in the photo. I’m starting to feel like a spectator of my own life. Rarely playing an active role in what happens to me. The last month and a half have been absolutely insane. My heart got ripped out of my chest and shoved through a meat grinder. I had two separate leaks happening in my RL home at the same time. All of this has led me to make a series of bad decisions one after another. I am NOT a doormat. I need to remember this, because even two years ago I stood up for myself and demanded more respect. This cannot continue. As appealing as it sounds, I can’t just check out. Mine is a life worth living and that means treating myself as good, if not better, than I want to be treated by others.
I realize I’m rambling and this probably makes little to no sense to anyone really. Yet, there is it…a raw look at my stupidity, my emotions, and my thoughts. With that said, I’m going to sleep…I wish you all the sweetest of dreams when you next go. ♥
Everything you see here is from unKindness
*except the rocks which are: :Fanatik Architecture: CLIFF COVERS Beach
Below is a list of everything by order of the sets they belong to: uk – Shanty Church House Gacha – (*new* @ Gacha Guardians)
-uK – Shanty Church House Pray Billboard GoG
-uK – Shanty Church House Building RARE
-uK – Shanty Church House Hymn Board
uK -In the Bayou Gacha
-uK- In the Bayou Swamp Shack RARE
uk – End Times Photo Prop I&II – (*new* @ ManCave)
uK – End Times Billboard Photo Prop
uK – End Times II Billboard Photo Prop
uk – Shanty Repair Shop Gacha
-uK-SRS Ice Freezer
-uK-SRS Barrel Mess 1
-uK-SRS Shanty Repair Shop RARE
uK-SRS Always Open RARE
uK-SRS Barrel Mess 2
uK -In the Bayou Gacha
-uK- In the Bayou Junk Pile1
-uK- In the Bayou Common Shack
-uK- In the Bayou Junk Pile 3
uK- In the Bayou Junk Pile 2
Another topic submitted to my post, “Dangerous Proposition” in which I asked my readers for topics and/or questions. This has really been so much fun, I really wish more people would challenge me as I’m almost to the end of the topics that have been submitted so far. Today, I’m taking on Isabelle Cheren’s request, “Hmmm how about the day in the life of … you. If you could.” I did ask her if she meant SL or RL, as honestly, I think SL might be slightly more interesting. Although, I’m really not sure. So, I’m going to combine the two, I guess. My life gets hectic, but its not really exciting. *laughs*
A typical day, involves me prying my eyelids open far too early, stagger to the bathroom and grumble about my pain. From there, I drag my ass to the kitchen for life saving nectar of the coffee gods. Upon retrieving the nectar, I slip into my grand office and solve the world’s problems! (Ok, my little world…my tee niney lil world)
Then I humbly do my superior blogging stuffs! Publish a blog posts, do the flickr deal, file reports, which leads me to checking reports. As I’m also a blog boss for three amazing stores. (This is my favorite part of the day…*nods*…I’m serious!)
Then there’s all this real world stuff that I gotta do. *scrunches up her nose* Ya know, eat, shit, shower, walk the dog, clean stuff or hide it. *laughs* Then I’m in SL, I check all the notices…answer offline IMs. While I wait for some inspiration for a picture, I will check my emails, read other blogs, peruse Flickr, and search the online sites for a desperately needed job in RL. Throughout the day, I go back and forth between RL and SL cuz squirrels!!! As I write this, I’m saddened by how boring my life sounds, but I really tried to juice it up with some adjectives. I might seem boring, but I’m fancy! Oddly enough I am NEVER bored! So, my day goes on like that until Josh logs on and then I dive into mushville until he logs out. Eventually I go to bed and TRY to sleep. *laughs* So, there ya go, Isabelle, not sure that’s really what you were hoping for, but I sadly don’t have an exciting daily life.
Fancy Decor: Miles Collection (*NEW* @ ARCADE)
01 Fancy Decor: Miles Bed RARE
02 Fancy Decor: Armoire RARE
03 Fancy Decor: Miles Side Table
04 Fancy Decor: Modern Chest
05 Fancy Decor: Radiator Console
06 Fancy Decor: Hammered Mirror
07 Fancy Decor: Glass Lamp
08 Fancy Decor: Claw Lamp
09 Fancy Decor: Metal Sculpture
10 Fancy Decor: Miles Rug
11 Fancy Decor: Inky Artwork
12 Fancy Decor: Travel Clock
13 Fancy Decor: Catch-All
14 Fancy Decor: B&W Art
15 Fancy Decor: Arrow Curtains
16 Fancy Decor: Open Magazine
17 Fancy Decor: Miles Slippers
.{PSYCHO:Byts}.Young Pitbulls – Battle gray
–David Heather-Chic Pussy/Grey Accessories
*SL* Ewok Lance – Sweet Lies Original 3 COMMON
It’s my birthday and despite all the terrible things that have happened in my life in the month of October over the years, it remains my favorite month of the year and I still get excited about my birthday. I remember my mother when she was my age and how with each year she got more and more bitter until she hit 60 and quit caring. For me, its just about that one day of the year that’s just supposed to be a great day. From start to finish. I am the QUEEN for one day of the year and this is it! It doesn’t hurt that I absolutely love skulls, ravens, and crows. As it makes me easy to shop for and I’m super appreciative of thoughtful gifts. (Keyword there was thoughtful.)
I already know this is going to be a great day, despite the fact that I’m awake at 2am writing my blog. I’ve been blessed the past couple of weeks with some amazing surprises from Josh and Grace with the promise of another amazing gift coming my way from Rebel. And although, I’m not wearing them in this photo, I received the most incredible gift from Cynthia from Cynful…a pair of jeans named after me. It was just last year that she and I were introduced at my surprise birthday party. It was also that day that she agreed to take me on as a blogger for three months as a favor to my broface, Luis. Since then I’ve taken on more than a blogger role with Cynful and I now consider Cynthia a real friend, even if she is a mean ole German who won’t tell me stuff! *giggles* She’s actually amazing.
This past year has been filled with ups and downs, but mostly ups and I am confident that this next year will be no different. Things are going well for me these days and I’m happy in almost every area of my life. I can say that my Second Life has never been better. I have the most amazing friends and I don’t just mean my cunts (Kess, Tracy, and GraceFace). It goes much deeper than that. There are not enough pics in my profile to brag or touch on them all, nor is even one blog post enough to dedicate to each one of them. I am truly THAT blessed! My birthday wish this year is no secret and its not even for me, despite this being a Blueberry post….hint hint…*eyes Sofia and Blue*…my wish this year is for all of you. It is my wish that this next year is as full of love and laughter as mine has been and continues to be, for there’s no better gift than love and laughter as far as I’m concerned. (Although, my friends have sure given me some pretty fucking amazing presents!) So, happy Friday to you all and given that my birthday is on a Friday this year, that means NEXT Friday is a 13th! Another lucky day for me!!
Sady Style 