Checking Out

Sometimes I really surprise myself at how stupid I can be. (Stop growling, Troy!) Regardless of all my experiences, I can still be so ridiculously naive, that it takes a close friend to point out something that should be blatantly obvious to me. Okay, short story, even shorter, I let someone I had just met disrespect me and essentially assault me. Yet, somehow, my shock exceeded all logic.
Not so long ago, I would have read that person like a book. I would’ve come so unglued on his ass that there would be no question about how I felt about it all. My reaction would have been instantaneous and rightfully so. Then I would have blasted his ass on Facebook and warned every girl I know!
It’s as if my common sense has begun to decay, like this shanty town in the photo. I’m starting to feel like a spectator of my own life. Rarely playing an active role in what happens to me. The last month and a half have been absolutely insane. My heart got ripped out of my chest and shoved through a meat grinder. I had two separate leaks happening in my RL home at the same time. All of this has led me to make a series of bad decisions one after another.  I am NOT a doormat. I need to remember this, because even two years ago I stood up for myself and demanded more respect. This cannot continue. As appealing as it sounds, I can’t just check out. Mine is a life worth living and that means treating myself as good, if not better, than I want to be treated by others.
I realize I’m rambling and this probably makes little to no sense to anyone really.  Yet, there is it…a raw look at my stupidity, my emotions, and my thoughts. With that said, I’m going to sleep…I wish you all the sweetest of dreams when you next go. ♥


Everything you see here is from unKindness
*except the rocks which are: :Fanatik Architecture: CLIFF COVERS Beach

Below is a list of everything by order of the sets they belong to:
uk – Shanty Church House Gacha – (*new* @ Gacha Guardians)
-uK – Shanty Church House Pray Billboard GoG
-uK – Shanty Church House Building RARE
-uK – Shanty Church House Hymn Board

uK -In the Bayou Gacha
-uK- In the Bayou Swamp Shack RARE

uk – End Times Photo Prop I&II – (*new* @ ManCave)
uK – End Times Billboard Photo Prop
uK – End Times II Billboard Photo Prop

uk – Shanty Repair Shop Gacha
-uK-SRS Ice Freezer
-uK-SRS Barrel Mess 1
-uK-SRS Shanty Repair Shop RARE
uK-SRS Always Open RARE
uK-SRS Barrel Mess 2

uK -In the Bayou Gacha
-uK- In the Bayou Junk Pile1
-uK- In the Bayou Common Shack
-uK- In the Bayou Junk Pile 3
uK- In the Bayou Junk Pile 2


A Day In The Life

Another topic submitted to my post, “Dangerous Proposition” in which I asked my readers for topics and/or questions. This has really been so much fun, I really wish more people would challenge me as I’m almost to the end of the topics that have been submitted so far. Today, I’m taking on Isabelle Cheren’s request, “Hmmm how about the day in the life of … you. If you could.” I did ask her if she meant SL or RL, as honestly, I think SL might be slightly more interesting. Although, I’m really not sure. So, I’m going to combine the two, I guess. My life gets hectic, but its not really exciting. *laughs*
A typical day, involves me prying my eyelids open far too early, stagger to the bathroom and grumble about my pain. From there, I drag my ass to the kitchen for life saving nectar of the coffee gods. Upon retrieving the nectar, I slip into my grand office and solve the world’s problems! (Ok, my little world…my tee niney lil world)
Then I humbly do my superior blogging stuffs! Publish a blog posts, do the flickr deal, file reports, which leads me to checking reports. As I’m also a blog boss for three amazing stores. (This is my favorite part of the day…*nods*…I’m serious!)
Then there’s all this real world stuff that I gotta do. *scrunches up her nose* Ya know, eat, shit, shower, walk the dog, clean stuff or hide it. *laughs* Then I’m in SL, I check all the notices…answer offline IMs. While I wait for some inspiration for a picture, I will check my emails, read other blogs, peruse Flickr, and search the online sites for a desperately needed job in RL.  Throughout the day, I go back and forth between RL and SL cuz squirrels!!! As I write this, I’m saddened by how boring my life sounds, but I really tried to juice it up with some adjectives. I might seem boring, but I’m fancy! Oddly enough I am NEVER bored! So, my day goes on like that until Josh logs on and then I dive into mushville until he logs out. Eventually I go to bed and TRY to sleep. *laughs* So, there ya go, Isabelle, not sure that’s really what you were hoping for, but I sadly don’t have an exciting daily life.

the pit

Fancy Decor: Miles Collection (*NEW* @ ARCADE)
01 Fancy Decor: Miles Bed RARE
02 Fancy Decor: Armoire RARE
03 Fancy Decor: Miles Side Table
04 Fancy Decor: Modern Chest
05 Fancy Decor: Radiator Console
06 Fancy Decor: Hammered Mirror
07 Fancy Decor: Glass Lamp
08 Fancy Decor: Claw Lamp
09 Fancy Decor: Metal Sculpture
10 Fancy Decor: Miles Rug
11 Fancy Decor: Inky Artwork
12 Fancy Decor: Travel Clock
13 Fancy Decor: Catch-All
14 Fancy Decor: B&W Art
15 Fancy Decor: Arrow Curtains
16 Fancy Decor: Open Magazine
17 Fancy Decor: Miles Slippers

.{PSYCHO:Byts}.Young Pitbulls – Battle gray
David Heather-Chic Pussy/Grey Accessories
*SL* Ewok Lance – Sweet Lies Original 3 COMMON

striped mocha – hanging lotuses – purple

Di’Cor Rayon Statue (*new* @ FaMESHed)

dust bunny . pilea peper plant
dust bunny . potted bromeliad
dust bunny . potted palm
dust bunny . pink medinilla plant


Another Year Older

It’s my birthday and despite all the terrible things that have happened in my life in the month of October over the years, it remains my favorite month of the year and I still get excited about my birthday. I remember my mother when she was my age and how with each year she got more and more bitter until she hit 60 and quit caring. For me, its just about that one day of the year that’s just supposed to be a great day. From start to finish. I am the QUEEN for one day of the year and this is it! It doesn’t hurt that I absolutely love skulls, ravens, and crows. As it makes me easy to shop for and I’m super appreciative of thoughtful gifts. (Keyword there was thoughtful.)
I already know this is going to be a great day, despite the fact that I’m awake at 2am writing my blog. I’ve been blessed the past couple of weeks with some amazing surprises from Josh and Grace with the promise of another amazing gift coming my way from Rebel. And although, I’m not wearing them in this photo, I received the most incredible gift from Cynthia from Cynful…a pair of jeans named after me. It was just last year that she and I were introduced at my surprise birthday party. It was also that day that she agreed to take me on as a blogger for three months as a favor to my broface, Luis. Since then I’ve taken on more than a blogger role with Cynful and I now consider Cynthia a real friend, even if she is a mean ole German who won’t tell me stuff! *giggles* She’s actually amazing.
This past year has been filled with ups and downs, but mostly ups and I am confident that this next year will be no different. Things are going well for me these days and I’m happy in almost every area of my life. I can say that my Second Life has never been better. I have the most amazing friends and I don’t just mean my cunts (Kess, Tracy, and GraceFace). It goes much deeper than that. There are not enough pics in my profile to brag or touch on them all, nor is even one blog post enough to dedicate to each one of them. I am truly THAT blessed! My birthday wish this year is no secret and its not even for me, despite this being a Blueberry post….hint hint…*eyes Sofia and Blue*…my wish this year is for all of you. It is my wish that this next year is as full of love and laughter as mine has been and continues to be, for there’s no better gift than love and laughter as far as I’m concerned. (Although, my friends have sure given me some pretty fucking amazing presents!) So, happy Friday to you all and given that my birthday is on a Friday this year, that means NEXT Friday is a 13th! Another lucky day for me!!

pretty in pink

hair:  pr!tty  – Purrs – [All Color Huds] ULTRARARE (*new* @ Gacha Guardians)
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
Dahlia – Abeille – Necklace (*new* @ FaMESHed)
Dahlia – Abeille – Ring (*new* @ FaMESHed)
Blueberry – Kimi Jacket
Blueberry – Kimi Skirt
Phedora ~ Anemoni heels (*new* @ FaMESHed)

pose: FOXCITY.  On Point Bento Pose Set
anxiety %2200 (*new* @ Industrie)


Keep Shining

I’ve always wondered why it is that we remember the hurtful things that people have said about or to us more than the nice things. I understand why we remember the horrible things done to us, because it leaves scars. Yet, we’re told as early as preschool that stick and stones will break out bones, but words will never hurt us. That’s the biggest lie they tell us, isn’t it? Words can hurt like hell. Maybe that’s why we remember it. It may not scar, but it fucking hurts. Sure we remember momentous happy occasions, like the birth of a child, a wedding day, graduations…some of us even remember the minute details of the day we met someone special. However, we’re also more apt to remember the exact day of someone’s death, divorce, losing a job, etc.
I know I’m not the only one that has to be told to keep shining, no matter who tries to dim my light. So, why is that so hard? Why do we thrust ourselves into the pain of what may have been said behind our backs? Why do we put so much stock in the opinions of people who do not really matter all that much to us?
I had a friend once that used to tell me the reason why even straight girls always loved her butch lesbian self, was because she would find something to compliment them about every time she saw them. Imagine if we all did that. If every person we encountered throughout our day received a compliment of some sort. I like you hair. I love that top. Those shoes are cute! What a cute laugh you have! If we all did that to each other, I think it would be a lot easier for all of us to keep shining. So, I challenge you all to compliment at least ten people today and tell me how it goes. If I don’t get too scatter brained, I’ll come and tell you how it went for me.


hair: TRUTH Montana
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
BUENO – Cheeky Outfit (*new* @ Uber)
BUENO-Pappos Flats (*new* @ Shoetopia)

pose created wtih AnyPose

uK – Old West Barber Front
uK – Raven Creek Hillbilly Jug

I Don’t Even Know

**clarification: I might have been medicated when I wrote this…so I don’t even know what I was thinking. LOL **

I know I share tidbits about my life here from time to time and that gives people a bit of insight into the person behind the avatar. I can’t help but believe it sounds a bit like a perverse fairy tale. After all, I did live in a castle when I was only 8 years old. Mind you, it was a farm when we lived there, but to an 8yr old…it was a castle more often than it was a farm. I’ve talked about being more of a nightowl and my struggles with insomnia. One interesting thing I never really mentioned is how fascinated I was with the devil as a child. I’m pretty sure I asked my mother more questions about him that I ever did about Christ.
I know most of my readers are fully aware of my dark side and that I’m a pretty sexual creature. I’m also very diverse, for every dark fantasy I have about knives and violence…well, there are moments of wanting to be that little pillow princess…Daddy’s girl…a tease…a dirty birdy as my friend Tracy likes to say. I knew most of this about myself long before I came to SL, but some of the more latter ideas were things I learned about myself in the past 10+yrs that I’ve spent on the grid.
In that time, I’m gained friends and I’ve gained my fair share of haters. People who would just as soon see me die as they’d see me live. I have no shame about the things I’ve done on the grid. I’m confident that I never purposely betrayed anyone and I’ve certainly not slept around or snuck about with someone else’s lover. Nor will I. It’s just not my style. I know there are lies being told about me out there. I’ve heard a few. I mostly find them amusing, the only time they bother me is when someone I care about thinks for even a moment that they might be true, because I like to believe they know me better than that.
It’s okay though, if people want to hate on me, lie about me…well, I’ll just nod and smile, because it shows they are thinking about me far more than I’m thinking about them. You see, when I write someone off…I do it completely. I block numbers on my phone, I block them inworld and on social media. It’s a wonderful way to keep them out of sight and out of mind. Which is why it always amuses me when people say they hate drama, but are constantly surrounded by it. It’s a simple process and writing people off is much like taking out the trash. That box there, it was once useful. It held a frozen pot pie, but I’ve long since eaten that pot pie, so both the bowl and the box it came it? Well, they’re no longer useful to me and there’s simply no point in holding on to garbage, is there? Sometimes people are like that, too. If they are not contributing to your light, then it’s time to get rid of them.


hair: TRUTH / Natalie (*new* @ Uber)
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
tattoo: *Moon Tattoo* Royal Feather

.:E.A.Studio:. Collar Oculus Cross

erratic / tess – romper / snake (*new* @ Uber)
_CD_ Maria White Heels – Maitreya Lara (*new* @ Uber)

Poses by Foxcity

anxiety %goodnight
uK – Vintage Truck Bar Pink
uK – Vintage Truck Mirror Pink


Do Not Be Afraid

“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.”
― Plato

Wow, it has been quite a while since I started post with a quote. Of course, one is never quite sure what they will find when they go to read my blog. Perhaps a song, a story, a poem, a rant, or like today… some thoughts with a hopefully a sprinkle of wisdom. This particular quote hits home, because I look back at my life and see exactly where fear of success derailed my life over and over again. Failure? Nah, I’m good at that. My entire childhood was an education on how I would never be good enough for more than pleasing a man. My mother taught me to surrender to a man’s will. She was old fashioned and believed in standing by even the most monstrous of men. She preferred the comfort of denial that lies created for her. Looking back, I can see so clearly that she’s never been a fan of truth. Even the simplest of stories are exaggerated for no other reason that her apparent allergy to honesty. Don’t get me wrong, I love her and I’d be lost without her, but that doesn’t make her perfect.  My father on the other hand, perversely manipulative and abusive in every sense of the word. Though he told me repeatedly I’d be a whore and a slut in high school, I rarely dated at all and did not lose my virginity until I was 19. Years later when I proudly told him that he was wrong and how I had waited, he smirked and said that was his plan all along. For he knew I was defiant by nature and would prove him wrong. I know now, that was simply more of his manipulation. I think fewer things brought him more joy than messing with my head.

You may be wondering, what all of this has to do with the quote. It’s simple really. If we are taught to fear everything…if we are sheltered from the truth…fear will easily control our life and limit us in ways we never imagined until it is genuinely too late. Living behind a closed door or in the shadows can be so comforting. We cannot get burned by a light we never see, but the truth is in the light. Until we release ourselves from the shadows of fears, both real and imagined, we can never be free. For it is the truth that sets us free and that truth does not hide in the dark, it is us that choose to stay in the dark.

I have often said that I would rather be hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie. The older I get the more I stand by that statement. Do not be afraid of the light just because you outgrew your fear of the dark.

behind the door

hair:  [RA] Sherazade Hair (*new* @ Enchantment)
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara

{le fil casse}  Madison Dress (*new* @ Whimsical)
Phedora ~Zaidee Platforms (*new* @ Kustom9)

pose: FOXCITY. Cute But Psycho Bento Pose Set (*new* @ ON9)
**slightly edited with AnyPose
taikou / dusk backdrop with materials (*new* @ Kustom9)

Just Be

Yesterday was a bad day. Nothing in particular happened, it was just one of those days where I felt like I had no people skills. My mind was cloudy. I hard a really hard time just thinking about anything that wasn’t laid out in front of me in black and white. I wanted to stay in bed more than anything. To hide under the covers from the world. I did not care about the eclipse, but felt like I should. I just didn’t.
I’m quite fortunate that Josh understands me better than most and understood that I just needed to be. Simply be. We watched some Netflix together, a comedy and we laughed. We didn’t talk much, but we shared time together and he let me be myself.  A few of my friends understood, Rebel even suggested it might be hormones at that’s certainly a possibility. She sent me the link to one of my favorite bad mood songs and that made me grin. I think only three people were aware of how I was feeling and all three were very compassionate.
It wasn’t one of those situations that could be fixed and they knew that. They knew I simply needed to just be. I suppose that might not make sense to some, but for I do believe we all have days like that. We just wake up on the wrong side of the proverbial bed and want more than anything to lash out or be left alone. I knew if I was forced to interact with too many people yesterday I would end up saying or doing something I’d later regret. I went to bed quite early, which led me to wake up too soon. I lied there in my bed thinking how I could make sure today would be different and I just decided that it will be. I cannot suffer another day like yesterday. It felt ridiculous to be so seemingly angry for no apparent reason. Today, I will have a good day if it kills me. *thinks for a minute and grins* Or perhaps kills someone else. *smirks*

Free of Resentment

hair: tram G0728 hair / FATPACK+HeadbandHUD UltraRARE (*new* @ PocketGacha)
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V4.1
tattoo: *Moon Tattoo* LARGE LOTUS

-SU!- Bento Piercing Set 03
EarthStones Tania Belly Ring

Pretty Mess – qt bb Sweater  (*new* @ N21)
.::Dead Dollz::. Erzbetha Skirt (*new* @ N21)

pose by Foxcity


The whole point of the REWIND event is to take us back in time, let us have some fun with some looks of yesteryear. Well, they’ve done it quite successfully this round. Not only did the stores nail the theme, but the layout of this event made me want to go back before its over and take some pictures. I just hope I remember. *laughs*
By far one of my absolute favorite finds is the Vivienne Outfit from Dead Dollz. This is for several reasons. For one thing, the name reminds me of one of my favorite shows from the 80s, The Young Ones. I could not help but think of Vyvyan Basterd and how much I loved that show. There were only like 12 episodes, but I saw them all more than once and it never failed that my mother would walk in during one of the most disgusting scenes. Being a clean freak, she would shudder and wonder wtf was wrong with me!
Another reason I love this outfit is the bold yellow and navy option I chose…well, it has me feeling a bit like a punk super hero! I could crash lame parties and bring them to life with the likes of Sex Pistols, Dead Kennedys, Black Flag, and The Ramones! I could get down and show them some rocking moves as the party slid into a more chill feeling with some David Bowie! You’re feeling it, too, huh? Yeah, this event definitely brought me to life in some very fun ways!
Go get your REWIND on and see what you come up with, because there’s absolutely no shortage of plaid, black, skulls, and safety pins at this round.

serenade me

Sady is wearing:
hair: Moon. Hair. // Edge (*new* @ REWIND)
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
Sintiklia – Nancy Choker (*new* @ REWIND)
Astralia – Punk is not dead Bracelet (Bento Maitreya) (*new* @ REWIND)
.::Dead Dollz::. Vivienne Outfit (*new* @ REWIND)
#EMPIRE – Coreopsis

pose by Del May
MINIMAL – Retro Backdrops *3* (*new* @ REWIND)

The Edge

Its a music blog. Why? Because the world makes me sad and the lyrics to this song have really been weighing heavy on my mind lately. So, I’ll provide you with the link and this time, just a few of the lyrics. You can look up the rest if you feel so inclined. I don’t have a whole lot to say, because well, I just don’t. Shocking, I know, but even I run out of things to say sometimes.

Aerosmith Livin On the Edge

“If chicken little tells you that the sky is fallin’
Even if it wasn’t would you still come crawlin’
Back again
I bet you would my friend
Again and again and again and again and again”


hair(r)M Hair, No.49’17
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
skin: DeeTaleZ *Appliers* CATWA Head “Face Miriam”
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
Amala – The Daddy’s Necklace
Blueberry – Shyla – Knotted Top
Pretty Mess – Jersey Skirt (*new* @ Uber)
fri. – Edie Sandals (*new* @ Kustom9)

pose by Bauhaus Movement
location: Hazardous

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