Love IS Blind

How many red flags do we ignore, because we THINK we’re in love? For whatever reason, we’ve set out sights on that person. Suddenly, all the signs that will be so crystal clear to us in the future are excusable.
There were so many signs when I first met my ex husband. He lied. Repeatedly. He lied about his job and I decided that he was just embarrassed by his actual position. He thought it would be more impressive if he had the same job as his friend that brought him into Second Life. I thought it was cute that he was worried about what I’d think. *rolls her eyes at herself* He lied about his living situation. He lived at home with his mother, but he told me he lived with a roommate. Again, I excused it as cute that he was worried about what I thought. That’s two lies before we even met in person. *sighs* He lied about sending me a package in the mail. Turns out, there never was a package. *hangs her head* I racked that up as a stupid lie, but no biggie. Just one of those lies should have been enough to turn my ass around and go the other direction.
He lied about several other things and yet…my dumbass still married him. Look where that got me! Now I’m not even sure he ever loved me. I think I was just an escape from a life he hated. *shrugs* It is what it is, but you can be damn sure I won’t be falling for that trap again!

wearing:
hair: [RA] Ary Hair – Fatpack (*new* @ C88)
head: CATWA HEAD Denice
ears: .:[PUMEC] :. – / Mesh Ears\ – Winter Flower
–SU!– Piercing Set 07 Septum & Nose Studs
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: #PUMEC – Sophia (*new* @ Cupid Inc)

Wicca’s Wardrobe – Elowen Necklace [Silver]
(Yummy) Art Deco Rings (*new* @ C88)

_CandyDoll_ Misty Dress (*new* @ C88)
Eudora3D Aerendyll (Enchantment)

pose by Bauhaus Movement combined with the pose in the hair hud
Helix – This is Sick Backdrops – The Bearded Guy (*new* @ Unik)

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Malibu

“We are just like the waves that flow back and forth
Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning and you’re there to save me
And I wanna thank you with all of my heart
It’s a brand new start
A dream come true
In Malibu”
~ Miley Cyrus – Malibu

Most of the time, I just post the lyrics and leave it at that. However, this time, I’m going to explain a little bit, because I think most people think of this song as a love song. It may have been written as one. I don’t know. What I do know, is that it isn’t a love song in the traditional sense, to me. For me, it is a song filled with metaphors and its from my heart to my friends in Second Life. My friends in this crazy virtual world have pulled me back from the edge so many times and ask nothing in return. I’m not going to break it down by stanza or line, but that’s the gist of where I’m coming from by posting this song.

wearing:
hair: [RA] Aurelie Hair (*new* @ FaMESHed)
Tableau Vivant \\ Catwa hairbase 10
head: CATWA HEAD Denice
–SU!– Osanna Eyes (new @ LEVEL)
–SU!– Piercing Set 07 Septum & Nose Studs
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: #PUMEC – Sophia (*new* @ Cupid Inc)
tattoo: [White~Widow] Charade – Henna – RARE

EarthStones Crystal Rain Double Necklace
EarthStones Crystal Rain Long Necklace
KUNGLERS – Gigi bracelets (*new* @ TLC)
(Yummy) Free Spirit Rings
Ascendant – Midnight Call Nails

ChicModa // Rhi Tops & Skirts (*new* @ FaMESHed)
Eudora3D Arid Boots&Socks (*new* @ FaMESHed)

pose: FOXCITY. Cutie Pie Bento Set
location: Wild Edge

The Timeline

I’ve decided to write about this here rather than Facebook, for the simple reason that I don’t want 100 notifications about silly comments & arguments. All of that is welcome here, but my computer won’t ding every time someone does it here…lol. So, here’s the tea:

Every so often I come across these posts where someone is complaining about all the negativity and drama on their timeline. Quite regularly these posts are accompanied by requests or challenges to post something positive. I always wonder who these people are friends with on Facebook and why they continue to follow such Debbie Downers? I’ll be honest, the posts complaining about other posts are usually the most negative things I see. Not to mention that on the rare occasion that I do come across something negative, its usually those people fussing about someone else. So, I wonder if we run in completely different circles or they’re completely missing someone’s sense of humor. Perhaps they’re overly sensitive or fail to realize they have the power to unfollow negative people. Or maybe they forgot that on Facebook, we can post whatever we want (except nudes, cuz God forbid)…and if someone doesn’t like it…well, let’s loop back around to that unfollow option. I don’t know if I’m the only one that experiences this, but it seems to pop up at least once a week for me.
With that said, I’ll tell you what I see on my timeline almost daily. I see lots and lots of gorgeous photos done by bloggers from across the grid. I see ads from amazing designers and I see jokes from all walks of life. I don’t know exactly when memes became a thing, but I sure do enjoy them. So, here’s what I suggest: If you find your timeline to be full of negativity, then unfollow those people and make room for the fun stuff, cuz there’s plenty of it out there without you having to ask or challenge people from your status. All that does is make you look like one of the negative nancies…and I’m going to assume that you don’t want that.

wearing:
hair: [RA] Casey Hair  (*new* @ ShinyShabby)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: –Belleza– Freya
skin: #20 [PUMEC] – MIA – JUNE (*new* @ Epiphany)

(Yummy) Auspicious Necklace
(Yummy) Ouija Ring Set
Ascendant – Midnight Call Nails
[Aleutia] Liz Dress (*new* @ Soiree by C88)

pose: GingerFish Poses – Bad at Love

Seize the Day

“To wait for someone else, or to expect someone else to make my life richer, or fuller, or more satisfying, puts me in a constant state of suspension.” ~ Kathleen Tierney Andrus

Do you surrender your desires in an effort to please others thinking: Once my kids finish  school, I’ll be able to focus on what I want; maybe I’ll get that promotion if I just work harder and put in extra time;  my parents will  finally accept my major if I just go to the school they picked; and so on.
But do changes in other people really make things better for you? If you believe that, then you should take a good hard look outward, instead of inward, for your happiness. Don’t allow yourself to be as powerless as a kickball at recess.
You can create your own peaceful shelter when you proceed through your life by setting boundaries not only for yourself, but for those you interact with. There’s no need to wait for your kid(s) to finish school to focus on your needs. You don’t need to work yourself to the bone be rewarded.  And you don’t have to compromise your desires in order to please your parents. Just figure out what makes you happy. Apply for that promotion without pushing yourself so hard. Stop waiting for other people to provide what you need and desire. It’s up to you to seize the day and make it your bitch.

wearing:
hair:  [RA] Andrea Hair (Recolor)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: #20 [PUMEC] – MIA – JUNE (*new* @ Epiphany)

21. Dead Dollz – Erotica Dress – RARE (*new* @ Epiphany)
22. Dead Dollz – Erotica Shoes – RARE (*new* @ Epiphany)

pose: FOXCITY. Leaning (Stand) VOL2 Bento Pose Set

 

I was the brightest light you ever knew

“I said hey you, with your world painted blue
I said fuck you, I was the brightest light you ever knew”
~ Kailee Morgue – F**k U

I’ve wasted so much of my life giving the best parts of me to people who only pretend to appreciate it, but in the end they never do. They prove time and time again that they are just another liar…another disappointment…another fake friend…another user. I’m over that now. I’m going to live my life for me and only me going forward. Its time for me to take my life back and I’m done bowing down before some undeserving asshat.
I’m always saying that I do what I want, but apparently what I wanted was to sell my soul just to hear two words that now ring through my ears like a bitter lie and the three words? Well, I’m not even going there. I’m pissed off and I’m tired of being disrespected. I’m tired of disrespecting myself. Now is the time for my “friends” to decide if they are real or not, because I’m done dealing with fake people and liars just for the sake of someone else. Those of you out there talking shit behind my back? Knock yourselves out. Your hate gives me power I never sought, but if your feelings for me are that strong…well, as the song says, “F**k U!”
Oh and before you fuckers get all paranoid about who is telling what? Well, its like this…I am an energy reader and I feed off energy like a vampire. So, when your energy is bitter and makes me sick to my stomach, I know what you’re about. I see through you and your lies. Oh and you lost out on one of the best friends you could’ve ever had. And ya know what? If you even THINK that I’m talking to/about you, then I damn sure am or you wouldn’t even think that.

Sadly, the people addressed in this blog probably won’t even read it, but that’s ok…I really wrote it for me.

wearing:
hair: [RA] Melly Hair  (*new* @ Salon 52)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: –Belleza– Freya
skin: [theSkinnery] Emmy (*new* @ C88)

:::ChicChica::: Unisex bong
Blueberry – Evie – Crop Top
Blueberry – Felicity – Shorts
Izzie’s – Fishnet Stockings
Izzie’s – Overknee Socks

pose: GingerFish Poses – Aperture Set (*new* @ eBENTO)
BUENO-Le Happy Building-Grunge (*new* @ C88)

Recharged

I’ve made this conscious decision not to let this year get the best of me, but the truth is I battle with depression and even more so in the last few years. My friend, Tracy, told me one of the most profound statements about depression that has ever stuck with me. She said, “Depression lies.” I really analyzed that statement or perhaps my demons did in the hopes they could prove it untrue. In my effort to deny my depression too much power, I’ve resorted to sleep. Though sleep often eludes me, there are certain combinations of medications that will knock me out for hours on end. Obviously, I cannot take these medications daily for regular sleep, or I’d be full blown addicted in no time. However, when my view of everything in the world is tainted by depression and cynicism, I know its time to avoid people and turn my back on the world. I know I need to shut down. Let my demons have my dreams. I can wake up from those. I can’t always shake the thoughts the demons plant. Today was one of those days. I was overwhelmed with loneliness and pain and envy…self-doubt…self-pity…self-loathing. The list goes on and on. Today was a day like that. It can be paralyzing which is just another reason why its easier to sleep than battle my demons. Today, my only defense was shutting down and hiding under my blankets. I’m recharged now and ready to fight back, wish me luck. ♥

wearing:
hair: [RA] Stacy Hair (*new* @ FaMESHed)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: –Belleza– Freya
skin: [theSkinnery] Paola

_CandyDoll_ Domi Jumpsuit (*new* @ Kinky)
[Gos] Tamara Ankle Boots (*new* @ FaMESHed)

pose: GingerFish Poses – Gloss set (*new* @ TLC)

scene:
anxiety %chicago build1
BUENO-NightSpot Loft Building
BUENO-After Hours Loft Building

Bowl of Weedies

Watching YouTube videos in the morning with a nice bowl of weedies, it just gets the day off to a great start. That fresh cup of tea or coffee, freshly sticky packed bowl, and a whole day to yourself. It’s not something I do very often, but on the rare occasion that I do, it really is quite special. Listen to what YOU want, sleep, eat….or don’t…go outside…do whatever you want…So, if you’ve never waked and baked, I highly recommend it…at least once. Take a day to yourself and just let go…let your mind travel to places you never imagined it could go.

wearing:
hair:  [RA] Joyce Hair
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: –Belleza– Freya
skin: [theSkinnery] Paola

:::ChicChica::: Unisex bong
[Cynful] Adore Sweater
Blueberry – Juju – Pleated Skirt
Izzie’s – Fishnet Stockings

pose: GingerFish Poses – Give Good Face

location: The Forty Thieves Hideaway

Menus & Electric Heaters

This place didn’t have an extensive menu, but what they did have was simply delicious. It was a food truck permanently parked on a small peninsula off the coast of Achill Island What she loved the most was that they has hooked up small electric heaters between all the tables so even on a cool day like today, you could eat outdoor and be comfortable. She was especially grateful for this today as she planned to meet her dear friend, Grace, for lunch. It had been far too long since they had sat down and dished.

Grace’s challenge: a menu and an electric heater

wearing:
hair: [RA] Tina Hair (*new* @ TLC)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: –Belleza– Freya
skin: [theSkinnery] Paola

EarthStones Diamond Kitty Necklace (*new* @ TLC)
*tentacio* Sandwich
e.marie // Hot Cocoa RARE
Blueberry – Reignberry – Scarf
Blueberry – Reignberry – Cardigan
Blueberry – Reignberry – Shorts

pose by BauHaus Movement

locaiton: Achill Island

Talking Body

“Now if we’re talking body
Put it on me
If you love me right
We fuck for life
On and on and on
Now if we’re talking body
You got a perfect one
So put it on me
Swear it won’t take you long
If you love me right
We fuck for life
On and on and on”
~ Tove Lo – Talking Body

wearing:
hair:  [RA] Debbie Hair (*new* @ FaMESHed)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [Glam Affair] Dee

Moon Elixir – Sabrina – Lara – Sweater (*new* @ Salem)
Moon Elixir – Sabrina – Lara – Thong (*new* @ Salem)
Eudora3D Lilith Heels&Stockings (*new* @ Salem)

*pose created live using AnyPose

FOXCITY. Photo Booth – Escape
SAYO – Vizcaya Garden Party Set – Floor Pillow