Hurts Like Hell

Fleurie – Hurts Like Hell

How can I say this without breaking
How can I say this without taking over
How can I put it down into words
When it’s almost too much for my soul alone

I loved and I loved and I lost you
I loved and I loved and I lost you
I loved and I loved and I lost you
And it hurts like hell
Yeah it hurts like hell

I don’t want them to know the secrets
I don’t want them to know the way I loved you
I don’t think they’d understand it, no
I don’t think they would accept me, no

I loved and I loved and I lost you
I loved and I loved and I lost you
I loved and I loved and I lost you
And it hurts like hell
Yeah it hurts like hell

Dreams fight with machines
Inside my head like adversaries
Come wrestle me free
Clean from the war
Your heart fits like a key
Into the lock on the wall
I turn it over, I turn it over
But I can’t escape
I turn it over, I turn it over

I loved and I loved and I lost you
I loved and I loved and I lost you
I loved and I loved and I lost you
And it hurts like hell

wearing:
Izzie’s – Mesh Earmuffs
hair:  :::Phoenix::: Madeline Hair (*new* @ Hairology)
head: CATWA HEAD Lilly
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
UC_X_winter_top (*new* @ Winter Trend)
Blueberry – Poppy Leggings
N-core BIANCA (*new* @ Winter Trend)

pose: Foxcity Solitude Set
location: de*cid*u*ous

 

Car Wash

Ugh, washing my car, that’s something I haven’t done in ages. It desparately needs to at least go through a good car wash. I don’t really have a place to wash it, as I live in a condo, and there’s no place to do that here. There’s a nice little car spa down the road, but that’s $30 plus a tip that I’d really rather spend elsewhere. I love my car, don’t get me wrong. That’s why I’ve kept it for so long. Poor Hodgey P, really deserves to better care. Don’t misunderstand, he’s not filthy, just normal not so shiny pretty. Plus, he’s almost 12yrs old. Yes, my car is a boy and he has a name. Don’t judge me! Ok, well, you can, but keep it to yourself. I already know I’m crazy, I don’t need you to tell me. *laughs* Maybe I’ll get him detailed in the spring. *nods*

wearing:
hair:  [RA] Nancy Hair (*new* @ Hairology)
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
[White~Widow] Altar – Black
(Yummy) Dark Magic Ring Set (*new* @ C88)
LYBRA . XL STILETTO NAILS
Scandalize. Anashara. (*new* @ FaMESHed)
[Gos] Boutique – Cassie Pumps (*new* @ FaMESHed)

pose Foxcity Show Off set
Astrallia – Pin up life backgrounds (Sexy car wash) (*new* @ REWIND)

Power

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” ~Alice Walker

Such a simple statement, yet filled to the brim with truth. We often refuse our own power whether surrender to others for emotional gratification or pointing fingers to place the blame for our predicaments. The truth is we have a hand in everything that happens to us. Perhaps not in the actual events, but certainly we are responsible for how we move forward. The victim of a crime is only a victim for as long as the crime is happening. Afterwards, there is a choice…survive or surrender. Use the power within ourselves to overcome what has happened or surrender to the fear, pain, and memories of it all. Power…really is a choice, isn’t it?

wearing:
hair:  :::Phoenix::: Evelyn Hair (*new* @ Hairology)
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
ChicModa // Halle // Bloggers (*new* @ 4Mesh)
Phedora ~ Alicia heels ~ group gift

pose: Foxcity Steamy Set
scene:
RAMA – #selfie_RAMA Studio Disks (*new* @ 6Republic)
Di’Cor Carson Leather Chair [Ivory]
Fancy Decor: Turvy Wine Glass

Frazzled

Wow, its been a crazy few days. I’ve been sick and crazy busy in both worlds. This seems to be the trend of my life now and while I love keeping busy, I’m sorta wanting a whole day to stay in bed and hide. I tried to do that Sunday morning, but alas, I had to get up and step out into the big bad real world. I forget how big and wonderful it can be sometimes. Most days I’d prefer to stay in my bedroom. I don’t like leaving the house, but my precious Zoey forces me outside several times a day. That’s more than enough world for me, but not for long. I’m making big changes in my life and its scary. Its also exciting, but mostly I’m terrified. I’ve finally gotten to the age where I’m not such a huge fan of change. I’m frazzled to say the least and I have about five to-do lists floating around my desk somewhere. *laughs* I’m sure there’s some cross over items…perhaps I’ll consolidate them if I can find them all at the same time. Don’t be too surprised if I do more musically inspired posts this week. *laughs*

wearing:
hair: MINA – Hannah (*new* @ Hairology)
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
Scandalize. Mich. (*new* @ FaMESHed)
_CandyDoll_ Jacinda Heels (*new* @ FaMESHed)

pose: FOXCITY. Lounge Bento Pose Set
FOXCITY. Photo Booth – Lucky Lounge

Moon

Its another song post, because its all I could think of while taking the photo. Call me uninspired or musically inspired. *laughs* Either way, here’s the link & lyrics, you know how I do.

Sia – Moon

I watch you spin from afar
I drink you in and breath you out
I’m camouflaged by the time-line
I’m camouflaged when the sun shines

Two ships passing in the night
Two lips pressing ground the tides

I believe the world it spins for you
We will never be, I am the moon
I believe the world it spins for you
We will never be, I am the moon

I long to be a part
I isolate my heart
You’ve drawn me into your world
Now I too spin limbless

One hand clapping, where’s the wind
I stand spanning at your distant wings

I believe the world it spins for you
We will never be, I am the moon

wearing:
hair: pr!tty  – Cameron (*new* @ Hairology)
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
**CC** – Bokeh Stars
–Narcisse– Kellis Babydoll Set (*new* @ 4Mesh)

::WetCat:: “Crescent” Moon Prop  (*new* @ 4Mesh)

{anc} shooting stars

Be Your Own Hero

We all grew up watching super heroes on TV and in movies, but the people that have genuinely inspired me the most in my life have not be super heroes at all. They have been people like you and me. Growing up I saw my mother as a hero, she was a registered nurse and healed people. She always made me feel better. And in kindergarten I was absolutely sure she had superpowers. For a little while, I thought my father was a hero. He was a soldier. I thought my uncle, a preacher was a hero. He could also paint beautiful stormy seas. As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to realize that when we look to other people to be our heroes, they tend to let us down, because just like us…they are human. As I’ve pushed myself to face some of my worst fears lately, I’ve started seeing the hero in myself…and I gotta say, that feels pretty damn good. So, go look in the mirror right now and be your own hero, because no one can do better by you that you can. You just have to believe in yourself the way you’ve believed in others all these years.♥

wearing:
hair:  Sintiklia – Hair Bloom – (*new* @ Hairology)
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
tattoo: Cute Country Black – Tattoo [CAROL G] (*new* @ 4Mesh)
CODEX_BENTO MARISTEL RINGS (*new* @ 4Mesh)
~LYBRA . Nya Bra Black (maitreya) (*new* @ Imaginarium)
~LYBRA . Nya Pants White (maitreya) (*new* @ Imaginarium)
~LYBRA . Nya Boots (maitreya) (*new* @ Imaginarium)

pose by Bauhaus Movement
*cm*.MESH . The Blind Alley

Show Some Love

So, there’s been a lot of hurt feelings on Facebook this week, because of a newish thing called Sarahah. It was designed for businesses so that employees could leave constructive feedback for each other, but it quickly found its way to Facebook and the SL community latched on. We were off and running. Many people refused to take part, knowing full well they would not take it well if insulted or while others publicly voiced their disdain for the site suggesting that if one could not say it without hiding behind anonymity they had no business saying it at all. Meanwhile, many were like me and saw it as something fun to do and jumped right off the bridge into the Sarahah internet river.
From there it either went uphill or downhill. For many it went downhill very quickly. Designers got attacked rather viciously. Yes, many of them received a lot of praise as well, but actual constructive criticism seemed to be absent. Many others reported being attacked and bullied. While some of these people took it in stride, others were quite hurt by the cruel words they found from anonymous contributors. A few even became aware of several secret admirers. While others found disturbing messages about people wanting to wear their skin or keep their eyeballs in jars. *giggles* I can’t begin to imagine who would have left such disturbing messages. *giggles again* I think almost everyone received some positive and loving messages, regardless of whatever else they found.
I personally received a total of 34 messages, most of which were very loving, kind, and positive. I was quite surprised and honestly, I little disappointed. I had prepared myself for some serious insults. I thought surely someone would be hateful, but I was quite fortunate. I think the closest I came to an insult was a rather astute observation from someone claiming not to know me very well. I had to laugh, because they were pretty accurate with what they said although they used an outdated terminology for their diagnosis of my mental health. *laughs* I had a few somewhat flirtation comments and a few that made no sense. I got no weird or insulting comments. Mostly, it was love and I was overwhelmed.
I was quite surprised by the reactions of a few that received negative comments. Some basically threw tantrums all over Facebook. Others quickly realized they did not possess the thick skin necessary to handle cowardly insults and shut down their Sarahah links. While others kept up their pages and found a new topic to bitch about on social media.
I am saddened that so many used it to bully and abuse others, but so goes the way of the internet. I think it’s important for everyone to remember that no matter what hateful or negative comments you received, there are far more people that love you. You are beautiful and wonderful in your own way. You are all amazing creatures. Whether you participated or not, please know that you are loved…not just by me, but many others. It is my hope that this weekend we will all remind the ones we love that they are special to us. As you proceed through your weekend and eventually into next week, show some love…not just to others, but to yourselves as well. ♥

wearing:
hair: [RA] Jessica Hair (*new* @ Hairology)
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara

[Atomic] Kitten Collar
Amala – The Daddy’s Necklace
Scandalize. Revolve. (*new* @ Tres Chic)

pose by Foxcity
MINIMAL – Retro Backdrops *8* (*new* @ REWIND)

Morning Meditation

Last year when I was going through a particularly rough time, my friend Charlotte gave me a non religious meditation book. Those are surprisingly hard to find in my area. Anyway, its one of my favorite ways to start the day. Reading the daily meditation with a cup of coffee and…*hangs her head*…a cigarette.

So, while I sit here at my desk with my coffee and cigarette, I thought I’d share this morning’s meditation with you.
“To have what we want is riches; but to be able to do without is power.” ~ George Macdonald
Well, George, I’d say you’re quite right there. I  mean it would suck if I couldn’t have a computer or afford internet. It would suck to lose Netflix. I’d be sad if I ran out of coffee (ok, I’d be downright mad) or cigarettes. However, there’s a certain power in knowing that I’ve been without all of those things and more in the past. I not only survived the lack of things, but I found other ways to entertain myself and enjoy life.  I have some rather fond memories of living in a homeless shelter, believe it or not. As there are no guarantees in this life, despite what marketing ads will tell you. The greatest power anyone can have is being able to find joy in the simplest of things. I’m just going to list a few examples of simplistic joys that I find in my daily life that are often taken for granted, but are truly to be cherished.
The way my dog greets me like a long lost soldier returned from way, even though I’ve only been gone 20 minutes. The way my cat mews and purrs at me on the rare occasion that he wants attention. The first bite of a meal I’ve cooked to perfection. The feel of freshly washed sheets on my skin right after a long hot bath. Led Zeppelin on the radio on a breezy summer afternoon. The smell of a bookstore. The joyous sound of children laughing and playing at the pool (even if I don’t like the lil bastards, I still love to hear the sounds of happiness.) The sound of the cicadas in the trees as the sun sets on a warm August evening. No, these are not my favorite things in life, but they are simple joys that make life worth living.

wearing:
hair: [KoKoLoReS] Hair – Bess (*new* @ Hairology)
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara

Astralia – Compatible mesh nails system  (Maitreya Stiletto base)
GingerFish -Nail Applier-Astralia-Bloody Kisses
Astralia – Kitty chain ring with HUD (*new* @ Blush)

BUENO-Olivia Top (*new* @ Kustom9)
BUENO-Cuff Jeans (*new* @ Kustom9)
_CandyDoll_ Saki Heels (*new* @ Uber)

pose by Le Poppycock

scene:
Pseudo– Inked Corner Scene
Apple Fall Cafe Chair
Apple Fall Clawfoot Height-Adjusting Table
Apple Fall Canvas Tote
Apple Fall Crumpled Newspaper
[ kunst ] – Ashtray v3 / Marble #4
SAYO – Trendy Tumblers – Rose Chrome – COMMON (*new* @ PocketGacha)

 

I Feel a Sin Coming On

Unlike most of my music posts, this one was intended from the very beginning. There are a few people that will get the personal reference, but for the rest of you I expect the song will fit the photo regardless. Think Mae West meets modern day country with a twist of Sady….*grins* As always, YouTube link and lyrics are provided. Below the photo you’ll find all the details for the sinfully delicious goodies you see in the photo.

I Feel A Sin Coming On by Piston Annies

I feel a sin comin’ on
I feel a right that’s about to go wrong
I got a shiver down to the bone
I feel a sin comin’ on

I gotta buzz in my brain
Drunk on a love goin’ down like champagne
I got a feelin’ it’s gonna leave a lipstick stain
And I’ll be the only one to blame

And you can see it
All over my face
Sweet temptation
All over the place
Give me tall dark and handsome,
Mix it up with somethin’ strong
I feel a sin (I feel a sin) comin’ on

Please Jesus don’t hold me back
I know it ain’t mine but I want it so bad
The smoke and the whiskey’s
Got me feeling easy
And the lights are all fading to black

And you can see it
All over my face
Sweet temptation
All over the place
Give me tall dark and handsome,
Mix it up with somethin’ strong
I feel a sin (I feel a sin) comin’ on

And you can see it (and you can see it)
All over my face (all over my face)
Sweet temptation
All over the place
Give me tall dark and handsome,
Mix it up with some strong
I feel a sin (I feel a sin) comin’ on
I feel a sin (I feel a sin) comin’ on

wearing:
hair: [RA] Jessica Hair (*new* @ Hairology)
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
Dutchie bitten apple
_CandyDoll_ Elsa (*new* @ C88)

pose by Bauhaus Movement
scene:
anxiety %home
7 – Jesus Is Coming Yard SIgn (*new* @ PocketGacha)
Fancy Decor: Plastic Side Tables (*new* @ C88)
7 – Neon Jesus Saves Cross (*new* @ PocketGacha)

See What I See

Whatever is going on in our lives can really change our perception of what’s going on around us and our reaction can often create a chain that ripples all around us to change the perception of others. Knowing this, why wouldn’t we work harder to be nicer to one another. To look for the positive whenever possible so that we can spread that positive energy from us to everyone else. Its easy to do when we’re feeling good, but the real challenge comes when you’re not feeling so great. You have to adjust your perception. If you practice finding that silver lining long enough, it becomes second nature and no matter how grim a situation you CAN find something around you worth smiling about. I do hope you’ll give it a try and on the rare occasion that the negative wins? Just keep trying, if not the current situation try it with the next. You can do it and so can I…and eventually you’ll see what I see. ♥

This round of Cosmopolitan is waiting for you. It opened on the 10th of April and as always, they’ve got quite an assortment of amazing creations. ChicModa is back in this round and has delivered one of the finest tube dresses I’ve ever seen. With a variety of textures and even some fatpack exclusives this is a must have. If you’re a hair whore like me, you’ll definitely want to visit the latest round of Hairology,  because Runaway is just one of the stores offering up and exclusive design that is to absolutely die for!

wearing:
hair: [RA] Crystal Hair (*new* @ Hairology)
head: CATWA HEAD Kathy
dimples: Izzie’s – Catwa Dimples Hud
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [IB-LAKSHMI]Rita-CATWA Mesh Head Applier Skin(*new* @ON9)
lipstick: alaskametro❤ “Lipslick” lip makeup – Catwa HUD (*new* @ AnyBody)
tattoo: RedFish – Feather tattoo (*new* @ Bodyfy)

**RE** Simone Heart Collar
ChicModa // Tracy (*new* @ Cosmopolitan)

pose by Klubwerk
backdrop: RAMA – #selfie_RAMA Steel Plate