People DO Change

I really hate the phrase, “A leopard never changes its spots.” I disagree with the meaning behind it, completely. If meant literally, then its just a fact. However, it is rarely said with literal intent. It refers to people not being able to change their true character. I just do not believe that’s true. I believe that people can and do change, especially with age. Now, I understand that the phrase is actually refers to people’s innate traits, but again, I know that people DO change. I know they do, because I have…several times. The older I get, the more I evolve and change. I think that’s true about most people. No matter how old you, think back to who you were 7-10 yrs ago. I certainly hope you changed. We learn and we grow, to suggest otherwise is simply ridiculous to me. To suggest that someone cannot or will not change is really quite an insult. It’s like suggesting there’s no hope or reason to continue living and learning.

the garden
Then again, what do I know, I’m just another sexy avatar in a gorgeous leopard print bodysuit. *winks*

wearing:
hair: Navy+Copper – Ivy (*new* @ Belle)
head: CATWA HEAD Denice
ears: .:[PUMEC] :. – / Mesh Ears\ – Winter Flower
SU!– Piercing Set 07 Septum & Nose Studs
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: #PUMEC – Sophia

{le fil casse} Payton Bodysuit (*new* @ ROMP)

pose: GingerFish Pose Lush set (*new* @ eBENTO)

#selfie_RAMA – Festival Flower Wall RARE

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Best Part

I’m not a huge fan of Valentine’s Day, but I will say that the very best part is the day after Valentine’s day when all the candy goes on sale! Mmmm, discounted chocolate! This year is going to be extra special, not only will there be a sale on chocolate but there’s a documentary coming out on Amazon Prime titled: Lorena. I’ll just let that sit with you all…*grins*…I just know that this year, I’m looking forward to February 15th. I’ll be curled up in my bed with a box of chocolate, a bottle of wine, and the remote….I can hardly wait!

best part of valentine's

wearing:
hair: TRUTH VIP Kaijah
head: CATWA HEAD Denice
SU!– Osanna Eyes (new @ LEVEL)
SU!– Piercing Set 07 Septum & Nose Studs
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: #PUMEC – Sophia (*new* @ Cupid Inc)

JUMO Originals – Amanda Earrings (*new* @ Unik)
DISORDERLY. / Rose Au Chocolat / Petits Box

Blueberry – Demi – Fur Stole & Dress Set

pose: GingerFish Poses – Candy is Dandy Set (*new* @ Pose Fair)
*****includes piece of chocolate in left hand
*****also comes with a heart shape box of chocolates not shown here

scene:
FOXCITY. Photo Booth – XO
FOXCITY. Optional Prop – Heart Clusters

Memories fade

“There’s only need
I love your need
So much I’m losing me
I cannot see the reason for the Pain
With hungry joy
I’ll be your toy
Just hoping you will play
Without the hope my body starts to fail
Memories fade but the scars still linger
Goodbye my friend
Will I ever love again
Memories fade but the scars still linger
I cannot grow
I cannot move
I cannot feel my age
The vice like grip of tension holds me fast
Engulfed by you
What can I do
When history’s my cage
Look forward to a future in the past
Memories fade but the scars still linger
Goodbye my friend
Will I ever love again
Memories fade but the scars still linger
Goodbye my friend
Will I ever love again
The more I talk
The more I say
The less you seem to hear
I’m speechless in a most peculiar way
Your mind is weak
Your need is great
And nothing is too dear
For you to use to take the pain away
Memories fade
No don’t pretend you can justify the end
Memories fade but the scars still linger”

winterchills

wearing:
hair:  (NO) Pom Beanie Style (*new* @ Uber)
head: CATWA HEAD Denice
SU!– Astrid Eyes
SU!– Piercing Set 07 Septum & Nose Studs
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: #20 [PUMEC] – MIA – JUNE (*new* @ Epiphany)

Ascendant – Call me Boss Nails (*new* @ A+Event)
:::ChicChica::: Frappuccino

!APHORISM! Karen Winter Body Warmer (*new* @ FaMESHed)
*Just BECAUSE* Celine Slacks (*new* @ Uber)

pose: GingerFish Poses – Chill

White

Not too long ago, someone asked me why I wear so much white and who was I trying to fool? I was confused by the question, but they went on to explain that I was trying to act innocent. Uhm, no, not even close. The thing is, I can’t wear white in real life. I mean, I can, but it won’t be white long. One drink, one meal and its over. One jump up from the dog, one scratch from the cat…its over. Naturally, I have very few white items in my real life wardrobe. I even had an avatar forever ago in Second Life (Ayn Rang) that only wore white. *hangs her head* She was a neko….yes, a full fledged flexi neko…*waits for you to stop laughing*…white hair…ears & tail…and clothes. It was so hard to find all white clothes and whites that matched back then, but now? Thanks to amazing designers and huds…I can wear white anytime I want. Or any other bright or light colors!

literally

wearing:
hair:  Lamb. Boyish
head: CATWA HEAD Denice
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: #20 [PUMEC] – MIA – JUNE (*new* @ Epiphany)

BONDI . The Bohemian Headphones (*new* @ Cosmopolitan)
POISON ROUGE – Hatsu Bag Blue (*new* @ Swank)
LYBRA . Crista (*new* @ Uber)
LYBRA . Crista Gloves  (*new* @ Uber)
[BREATHE]-Moxie Heels

pose: GingerFish Poses – Bad at Love set

The Timeline

I’ve decided to write about this here rather than Facebook, for the simple reason that I don’t want 100 notifications about silly comments & arguments. All of that is welcome here, but my computer won’t ding every time someone does it here…lol. So, here’s the tea:

Every so often I come across these posts where someone is complaining about all the negativity and drama on their timeline. Quite regularly these posts are accompanied by requests or challenges to post something positive. I always wonder who these people are friends with on Facebook and why they continue to follow such Debbie Downers? I’ll be honest, the posts complaining about other posts are usually the most negative things I see. Not to mention that on the rare occasion that I do come across something negative, its usually those people fussing about someone else. So, I wonder if we run in completely different circles or they’re completely missing someone’s sense of humor. Perhaps they’re overly sensitive or fail to realize they have the power to unfollow negative people. Or maybe they forgot that on Facebook, we can post whatever we want (except nudes, cuz God forbid)…and if someone doesn’t like it…well, let’s loop back around to that unfollow option. I don’t know if I’m the only one that experiences this, but it seems to pop up at least once a week for me.
With that said, I’ll tell you what I see on my timeline almost daily. I see lots and lots of gorgeous photos done by bloggers from across the grid. I see ads from amazing designers and I see jokes from all walks of life. I don’t know exactly when memes became a thing, but I sure do enjoy them. So, here’s what I suggest: If you find your timeline to be full of negativity, then unfollow those people and make room for the fun stuff, cuz there’s plenty of it out there without you having to ask or challenge people from your status. All that does is make you look like one of the negative nancies…and I’m going to assume that you don’t want that.

liz by aleutia

wearing:
hair: [RA] Casey Hair  (*new* @ ShinyShabby)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: –Belleza– Freya
skin: #20 [PUMEC] – MIA – JUNE (*new* @ Epiphany)

(Yummy) Auspicious Necklace
(Yummy) Ouija Ring Set
Ascendant – Midnight Call Nails
[Aleutia] Liz Dress (*new* @ Soiree by C88)

pose: GingerFish Poses – Bad at Love

Yesterday

“Here’s to my future
Here’s to my yesterday
Here’s to change
Oh, here’s to my yesterday
No tomorrow without a yesterday
Here’s to my future
Goodbye to yesterday
Yesterday”
~ Imagine Dragons – Yesterday

yesterday

wearing:
hair:  no.match_ ~ NO HIDE (*new* @ Salon 52)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: #20 [PUMEC] – MIA – JUNE (*new* @ Epiphany)

:::ChicChica::: Magic 8 ball
.:villena:. – Rose Bud Fur Jacket
{le fil casse} Ellie Dress (*new* @ Kustom9)
!:Lybra:! Liza Leggings
[Enchante‘] – Virginie boots

pose: GingerFish Poses – Diamonds set

Warning Signs

?We wove a sticky web in a dirty little game
And I was hypnotized
All your bad juju and all your weird voodoo
Made me go blind
There was nothing there but the shell of the girl
You left behind
But I wasn’t seeing, I just wasn’t seeing
Somehow I missed the warning signs”
~ Eilen Jewell – Warning Signs

gas station

wearing:
hair: MINA Hair – Donna Mae (*new* @ Epiphany)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: #20 [PUMEC] – MIA – JUNE (*new* @ Epiphany)

2. [CX] Wild Hazard Jacket – B ( Maitreya ) RARE  (*new* @ Epiphany)
[Aleutia] Yumi Tshirt (*new* @ X by FaMESHed)
Vinyl – Kito True-Booty Shorts
22. [CX] Wild Hazard Leg Harness – Silver (B) // Maitreya (*new* @ Epiphany)
REIGN.- AVRIL BOOTS & SOCKS

pose: GingerFish Poses – Bad at Love
(Milk Motion) that night – gas station (*new* @ Epiphany)

I was the brightest light you ever knew

“I said hey you, with your world painted blue
I said fuck you, I was the brightest light you ever knew”
~ Kailee Morgue – F**k U

I’ve wasted so much of my life giving the best parts of me to people who only pretend to appreciate it, but in the end they never do. They prove time and time again that they are just another liar…another disappointment…another fake friend…another user. I’m over that now. I’m going to live my life for me and only me going forward. Its time for me to take my life back and I’m done bowing down before some undeserving asshat.
I’m always saying that I do what I want, but apparently what I wanted was to sell my soul just to hear two words that now ring through my ears like a bitter lie and the three words? Well, I’m not even going there. I’m pissed off and I’m tired of being disrespected. I’m tired of disrespecting myself. Now is the time for my “friends” to decide if they are real or not, because I’m done dealing with fake people and liars just for the sake of someone else. Those of you out there talking shit behind my back? Knock yourselves out. Your hate gives me power I never sought, but if your feelings for me are that strong…well, as the song says, “F**k U!”
Oh and before you fuckers get all paranoid about who is telling what? Well, its like this…I am an energy reader and I feed off energy like a vampire. So, when your energy is bitter and makes me sick to my stomach, I know what you’re about. I see through you and your lies. Oh and you lost out on one of the best friends you could’ve ever had. And ya know what? If you even THINK that I’m talking to/about you, then I damn sure am or you wouldn’t even think that.

beautiful
Sadly, the people addressed in this blog probably won’t even read it, but that’s ok…I really wrote it for me.

wearing:
hair: [RA] Melly Hair  (*new* @ Salon 52)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: –Belleza– Freya
skin: [theSkinnery] Emmy (*new* @ C88)

:::ChicChica::: Unisex bong
Blueberry – Evie – Crop Top
Blueberry – Felicity – Shorts
Izzie’s – Fishnet Stockings
Izzie’s – Overknee Socks

pose: GingerFish Poses – Aperture Set (*new* @ eBENTO)
BUENO-Le Happy Building-Grunge (*new* @ C88)

Recharged

I’ve made this conscious decision not to let this year get the best of me, but the truth is I battle with depression and even more so in the last few years. My friend, Tracy, told me one of the most profound statements about depression that has ever stuck with me. She said, “Depression lies.” I really analyzed that statement or perhaps my demons did in the hopes they could prove it untrue. In my effort to deny my depression too much power, I’ve resorted to sleep. Though sleep often eludes me, there are certain combinations of medications that will knock me out for hours on end. Obviously, I cannot take these medications daily for regular sleep, or I’d be full blown addicted in no time. However, when my view of everything in the world is tainted by depression and cynicism, I know its time to avoid people and turn my back on the world. I know I need to shut down. Let my demons have my dreams. I can wake up from those. I can’t always shake the thoughts the demons plant. Today was one of those days. I was overwhelmed with loneliness and pain and envy…self-doubt…self-pity…self-loathing. The list goes on and on. Today was a day like that. It can be paralyzing which is just another reason why its easier to sleep than battle my demons. Today, my only defense was shutting down and hiding under my blankets. I’m recharged now and ready to fight back, wish me luck. ♥

wishing for a wish

wearing:
hair: [RA] Stacy Hair (*new* @ FaMESHed)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: –Belleza– Freya
skin: [theSkinnery] Paola

_CandyDoll_ Domi Jumpsuit (*new* @ Kinky)
[Gos] Tamara Ankle Boots (*new* @ FaMESHed)

pose: GingerFish Poses – Gloss set (*new* @ TLC)

scene:
anxiety %chicago build1
BUENO-NightSpot Loft Building
BUENO-After Hours Loft Building

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