Let’s Go Crazy

Sometimes the world just doesn’t make sense. I think it’s pretty clear that I’m not the picture of perfect mental health. I’m not sure there even is such a thing to be honest. Hell, mental health has been called all sorts of names throughout history.  Even the names of disorders change….what once was called manic depressive is not called bi-polar. Why? Why did they change the name? Manic depressive was spot on. I think everyone and anyone can catch that disorder on the right day or wrong day as the case might very well be.
Seriously, think about it for a minute.  You are having a great day. You slept great, you woke up right before your alarm went off. The weather is your favorite kind of day. Everything is going well. Catching all the green lights in traffic. Errands go great, you even saved some money unexpectedly. You come home, dinner is great….you slip into your favorite PJs…you’re set. You’re happy as you can be….then it happens. You get a tragic phone call. Something awful has happened to someone you love and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. You’re alone with this awful news. That’s going to be a helluva a mood swing, don’t you think?  Say the reverse happens. Whole day has been shit. Slept like shit, overslept, bad hair day, pouring down rain, you get stuck in traffic…you get home, burn dinner…then unexpectedly your best friend calls. She’s coming over and she’s bringing pizza. Your whole day just got better in an instant. Mood swing. *shrugs* Must be bi-polar.
Ever just felt so damn lazy, you just didn’t even want to get out of bed? Ever just want to stay in bed all weekend, veg out with the remote and some junk food? Ever just do it, cuz you want to? Well, you must be depressed, you can’t even drag your ass out of bed. I’m in no way minimizing any diagnosis. I’m more than fully aware that there are varying degrees of each legitimate disorder. I’m not even suggesting to know what is and isn’t legitimate….I’m not a psych-anything….well, maybe psycho, but that’s about where my expertise ends. I’m sure not yelling at Matt Lauder about how mental health is a hoax, while clearly proving that it is very real.
I’m just saying, that the world doesn’t always make sense. So, if you’re a little crazy…so what? Be crazy. Be you. Love drama? Do it up. Hate drama? Stay away from it. Wanna dance? Crank up the music and dance. Who cares? We all have to get through this thing called life one way or another…so if you’re not crazy….why not? C’mon, let’s all go crazy.

Are we gonna let the elevator
Bring us down, oh, no let’s go
Let’s go crazy, let’s get nuts
Look for the purple banana
‘Til they put us in the truck, let’s go
All excited but we don’t know why
Maybe it’s ’cause we’re all gonna die
And when we do, what’s it all for
Better live now before the grim reaper
Come knocking on your door

hair: tram H0210 hair
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: LOTUS. Louise Skin Applier 04 (*new* @ SKIN FAIR)
tattoo: [ATI] Simon.(*new* @ Elite)
EF: Springleaf Earrings (*new* @ FaMESHed)
EF: Springleaf Necklace (*new* @ FaMESHed)
Narcisse– Nelly Lace up Dress (*new* @ Kinky)

pose: [ Focus Poses ] Naughty Chair 2
[Bad Unicorn] 02 Hype-Beast Backdrop

LOTUS. Louise Skin (*new* @ SKIN FAIR)
:::insanya::: JennaShorts – Solid (*new* @ Whore Couture)
pose by an lar


Crooked World

Crooked World
written by Sadystika Sabretooth

It’s a crooked world,
full of broken people,
plenty of hungry hyenas
on the prowl
just waiting
to snatch up the scraps.

They will use your broken pieces
to create something beautiful
and then sell it back to you.

The lies and all the poison…
polluting every cell,
every fiber,
and stitch of humanity….
until there’s nothing left.

The careless walk among us
dressed as saviors
offering shoulders
made of sponges,
soaking up every ounce
of emotional ammo
we shed in our tears.
They load their invisible guns
and declare their silent war.

With each shot,
they push us
further and further away until
we’re backed into corners.
The view from there is amazing,
because now we see the truth…
all of it…
even the parts you can’t see
the lies as they pour from your mouth
and now we laugh
with our friends
as we whisper behind your back.

You’ve put on your little act
for so long
that even when it blows up
in your face
you’re so oblivious
you think you’re untouchable.

You’re not.

It’s a set up
we’re waiting
to watch you fall.

You will fall.
You thought we’d save you?
we’ll raise our glasses
as you stumble backwards
over the bodies in your wake
and finally fall into your own grave.

shaky ground
It’s getting harder to know if I’m sane
My issues are leaking outside of my veins
Somebody save me or end me, I haven’t yet made up my mind

hair: Magika – Good Vibes *NEW*
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery]  Iris (Catwa Applier) toffee (*new* @ C88)
MINIMAL – Charmed Necklace (*new* @ FaMESHed)
_CandyDoll_ Mya Dress (*new* @ Whore Couture)
_CandyDoll_Ava Socks Black
{Livalle} Payne – Combat Boots (*new* @ FaMESHed)

pose: pose: GingerFish Poses – Bad at Love

[Bad Unicorn] Block Views Backdrop *NEW*


There’s a poem by Maya Angelou, Caged Bird. Its one of those poems that sat on my chest like a 20lb cat. It weighed so heavily on my heart that is almost felt as though I were being crushed. I love the contrast of the free bird versus the caged bird. The free bird hasn’t the worries or restrictions of the caged bird. Yet, the caged bird chooses to sing anyway. The caged bird sings of hope, dreams, and fantasies. It is those songs that keeps the caged bird moving forward in its limited space. While the free bird might sing, I imagine the songs are hollow and not nearly as beautiful as the “fearful trill.”
Obviously the poem is not literally about birds. Its symbolism in its purest form really. Yet, it still makes me think. It takes my mind in so many directions. Not just the original meaning, but about each of us as individuals. How often do we cage ourselves? And for what reason? I spend more than 50% of my day in my bedroom, as my computer is in here, my smart tv, my bed…all my favorite comforts of home. Why? Though I sit in front of a window, there is nothing keeping me locked in here. So, why don’t I go outside more? Granted, I don’t like the people around here too much, but no one is forcing me to speak to anyone when I leave my house. I’ve even been to jail and I remember how badly I craved the fresh air, a natural breeze. How I longed to hear the rustling of leaves and the songs of birds….even the laughter of those little demon spawns people call children. *grins*
I’ve gotten too comfortable in my little cage of comforts. I’ve become complacent and in most 12 step programs there’s a common saying about complacency being a red light indicator. In other words, when we become too comfortable…too complacent in our lives, we are setting ourselves up for bad decision making and that’s never been more true in my life. I’ve made some very poor decisions in the last few months. Acting out (mostly in SL) in ways that I never have before and its time for me to stop. I’ve already reduced my blogging load by focusing more on fashion and less on home decor. Yet, I still find myself sitting at this desk focused far more on my blog than on my real life.
I am not a religious person by a long shot, but Easter is about Christ being reborn, right? Well, I think I’ll borrow a page from the Bible and use Easter as a form of rebirth of my own. I’m going to cut back a bit more on the blog and I’m going to be leaving my house for five days on Easter weekend. I’m going to see my darling Nikole. This will be the second time we’ve met in real life, but it’ll be my first time visiting her at her house. I’m super excited about the trip and I’m about to embrace some really positive changes in my life. I will no longer be caged by my own hands.


hair: #12 {Limerence} Sammy hair-Blonds (*new* @ Imaginarium)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery]  Iris (Catwa Applier) toffee (*new* @ C88)
tattoo: [ATI] Mai.. (*new* @ TWE12VE)
LYBRA  . SADYSTIKA (*new* @ Whore Couture)
_CandyDoll_ Gina Heels (*new* @ FaMESHed)

pose:  FOXCITY. Wild & Free Bento Pose Set

FOXCITY. K-POP Star 2 – Ringa Linga (Rez) (3) RARE (*new* @ Arcade)
Fapple– The little slave bed
Fapple– BDSM Tool Box


I’ll Do What I Please

I say this all the time, “I do what I want.” To be fair, I usually do just that. I’m an only child and despite the abuse, I was pretty spoiled. Over the years, I have grown up, but because I never had children I didn’t mature the way most people my age have matured. So, to sum it up I’m a brat! I know, that’s coming as quite a shock to many of you. *laughs*

I’m having a pretty crappy day, so that’s all I got for now. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and happy shopping♥

And I’ll do what I want
I’ll do what I please
I’ll do it again till I’ve got what I need

Cruel is wearing:
hair: Stealthic – Haunting
hairbase: Stealthic – Male Hairbase
head: CATWA HEAD Daniel
beard: Volkstone Toni Facial Hair
ears: .:E.A.Studio:. Box Ears Falling Star
body: [SIGNATURE] Geralt – Mesh Body  *NEW*
tattoo: [ATI] Nightmare…

Sady is wearing:
hair:  RAMA.SALON – Chloe Hair ‘EXCLUSIVE’ (*new* @ FaMESHed)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery]  Saska (Catwa Applier) honey
EF: Springleaf Necklace (*new* @ FaMESHed)
**RE** Simina Bracelets (*new* @ FaMESHed)
toksik – Slumber Crop Top (*new* @ FaMESHed)
toksik – Slumber Shorts (*new* @ FaMESHed)

pose: KlubWerK.poses -i know you —
VIXX- Mesh backdrop – She



Squeal Worthy

I don’t think guys do this, but I can’t be sure. I am pretty sure they wouldn’t admit it. However, almost all girls I’ve ever known has done this. Oh, I’m sorry, what is THIS? Well, its all about that message we received or perceived. However, I have been known to throw myself across a bed and flail my legs about as I squeal over whatever fortune has befallen me. Whether I was squealing about having completed my final exams with flying colors or the guy I’ve liked forever is finally looking my way. Oh it could be as simple a new pair of boots that I’ve wanted for a very long time and I don’t want to take them off. I just want to swoon over them for a while.
Either way, I’ve had a few rather rough days lately, nothing I really want to talk about. However, I’m hoping we all get some squeal worthy moments as we approach the weekend. I think we all deserve it, don’t you?

the message

hair:  [RA] Mikaela Hair  (*new* @ FaMESHed)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
SU!– Nude Lip Gloss Collection
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery]  Saska (Catwa Applier) honey
::SG:: Sophia stileto BENTO MESH NAILS (*new* @ SKIN FAIR)
[Cynful] Micaela Dress (*new* @ FaMESHed)
_CandyDoll_ Mya Boots – (*new* @ Whore Couture)

pose: FOXCITY. Hella Cute Bento Pose Set (head position edited w/AnyPose)

BUENO -Minimal Living Gacha (*new* @ Arcade)
-BUENO- Minimal Living Apts Spring- RARE
-BUENO-Dreaming Bed- RARE
-BUENO-Journals Clutter-Pinky
-BUENO-Simple Chair-Floral
-BUENO-Happy Hour Neon -Pink
-BUENO-Cactus- White (comes soft linked to BUENO-Lamp-Pink)
-BUENO-Type Pad-Pink
-BUENO-Wall Organizer – Pink
-BUENO-Pencil Holder- Pink (comes soft linked to BUENO-Empty Cup-Dreams)
-BUENO-Bunny Speaker-Pink
-BUENO-Simple Chair-Marble

BUENO– Foxy Pal Sir Fox RARE (*new* @ Arcade)
BUENO- Foxy Pal Ballerina RARE (*new* @ Arcade)

[Bad Unicorn] Not So Welcome Mat (12 Texture Options)
[Bad Unicorn] ‘Pizza or Boobs?’ Heart Pizza

dust bunny . spotted begonia
:CP: Herman Planter White


Watching Me

There’s something about knowing you’re being watched, but they don’t know you know. Perhaps it’s just me, I mean, I know can’t be the only that feels that way or the song below wouldn’t have become so damn popular. Once upon I couldn’t stand the idea of anyone watching me…..and to be perfectly honest, I’m still not a fan of that in RL. However, believe it or not, I used to get embarrassed in SL.
Then along came a very handsome and interesting neighbor. I discovered his crosshairs on me and realized I didn’t have the privacy set on my land. Instead of setting it, I gave him a show. *laughs* Funny thing is, we’ve been close friends ever since, but we’ve yet to mess around. I say, yet, cuz stranger things have happened.

for you
So much left unspoken
Between the two of us
It’s so much more exciting
To look when you can touch
You could say I am different
And maybe I’m a freak
But I know how to twist ya
To bring you to your knees

Cruel is wearing:
body: [SIGNATURE] Geralt – Mesh Body  *NEW*
tattoo: [ATI] Nightmare…
5.::GB:: Color denib pants / Black

Sady is wearing:
hair:  [RA] Katia Hair (*new* @ WhoreCouture)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery]  Saska (Catwa Applier) honey
LYBRA . MISA  (*new* @ FaMESHed)
{Nena} Pantyhose v1

pose created with AnyPose
FOXCITY. K-POP Star 2. (2) So Crazy (Common) (*new* @ Arcade)


White Flag

I’m guessing by now that my regular readers have noticed that I’m trying very hard to get away from posting song links & copy/pasting lyrics. I’ve decided instead to explain why some songs are so special to me and why they’ve ended up on my personal soundtrack. So, now if you’re interested the video is embedded at the bottom of the post and if you right click on it, you can open that up in a new window.
Alright, so Dido’s White Flag….this song means so freaking much to me. It reminds me of a real life relationship I had many years ago with a guy we’ll call Bran. I fell in love with Dido about the same time I fell for him. Sadly, he didn’t quite love me the same way and my love for him was a tad bit unrequited. Though, you couldn’t convince any of our friends that we weren’t a couple. *laughs* Its a much longer story than I care to type out. However, with that said, I did have to finally let go…as I found something rather suspicious on his computer and I was never comfortable around him again. *sighs* At the time that I had such strong feelings for Bran, there’s simply nothing anyone could have said to make me give up, thus this song resonated with me.

seeing dots

Sady is wearing:
hair: [monso] My Hair – Summer  (*new* @ FaMESHed)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery]  Saska
!Rebel Hope – Nancy Mesh Dress (*new* @ Uber)

pose: [ATI] Tamar Set (*new* @ ELITE)
FOXCITY. K-POP Star 2. (4) Hush – White (Common) (*new* @ Arcade)


I Won’t Keep Watching

Once in a while we fight doing the right thing, because we’re not sure what that is. Cutting people from our lives is a lot like that. Its hard, because you’re ditching your loyalty. That’s pretty serious, but it would seem that sometimes our loyalty needs to be to ourselves first and foremost. If we don’t treat ourselves the way we want to be treated, how will anyone else even begin to figure out what we want.
I believe I must be at an advantage here, because as a child we moved every 2-3 yrs. So, I was constantly saying goodbye to people and letting go. By the time I grew up, letting go and walking away was far easier for me than others. The challenge for me was to stop walking away. Eventually, I started hanging on to people for dear life. I was scared to death that if I kept walking away, I’d never learn to just be in the here and now. I wasn’t running, I was simply walking away from anyone and anything that didn’t enhance my life. Now, I’m starting to understand what its like for other people and the struggle to let people go. However, one thing I’ll never have to fight or struggle with for long is letting go of some I feel is abusive. That will never be okay and something I outgrew a really long time ago.
There’s a line in the song I’ve attached that really struck a personal chord with me:
I won’t keep watching you
Dance around in your smoke
And flicker out
You’re not the light I used to know

more selfies
That empowering moment when you delete & block them. 

hair:  Tableau Vivant \\ Francesca hair (*new* @ FaMESHed)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
-SU!- Amoret Eyeliner +CATWA APPLIER+
-SU!- Xanthe Lip Gloss +CATWA APPLIER+
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery]  Saska
hand tattoo: [ATI] Destiny Lite…Maitreya Applier…
nails: Astralia – Compatible nails system (Maitreya Stiletto base)
toksik – Bloom Choker (Group Gift)
{le fil casse} Kassie Ruffle Hearts Top (*new* @ FrouFrou)

pose: [ATI] Destiny Lite Set (*new* @ Suicide Dollz)
FOXCITY. K-POP Star 2 – Because I am The Best (Rez) (2) RARE (*new* @ Arcade)


This Week is Finally Over

Well, its been quite a week. Between the DDOS attacks and trying to get FaMESHed opened on time. Well, that simply didn’t happen. We had to postpone the opening by one day, because so many designers were affected. However, I promise you all it was worth the weight. Although I went with a black and white image, you can still see how incredible the designs are that are being offered around the grid at the moment, particularly at FaMESHed. There is goodness around every corner and if you can’t find anything to wear, you’re just not trying. *laughs*

take a selfie

hair:  :::Phoenix::: Naomi Hair  (*new* @ FaMESHed)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery]  Saska
Dahlia – Kahlida – Cuff (*new* @ FaMESHed)
!APHORISM! Eve Jumpsuit (*new* @ FaMESHed)
Scandalize. DessieHeels (*new* @ Shiny Shabby)

pose: FOXCITY. Selfie VOL2 Bento Pose Set (*new* @ Blush)
FOXCITY. K-POP Star 2. (5) Hush – Black (Common) (*new* @ Arcade)



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