Life’s a game ’til you lose, then what?

I’m the widow
On the tip-tippy-toppy of the highest high of low
And I’m the shadow
Of the first little flower on the brightest patch of snow

Happiness can be hard to find
I’m so slap silly happy
Everybody wants to take mine

Yeah, right
That sounds nice
Everything we ever wanted and more
Someday we’ll get paid
More than it was worth to sell our souls
Yeah, yeah, right

Yeah, I’m a rock star
I’m a queen resurrected, just as messed up as before
Twist the knife hard
Just makes it easier to tell you I don’t need you anymore 

Life’s a game ’til you lose, then what?
I’m reaching a new level of not giving a fuck

DOUX – Cyanna hairstyle
LeLUTKA Lilly Head 2.5
[LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3)
— PUMEC – JADWIGA – LELUTKA x BOM
Lilithe’// Omukade Tattoo

BONDI . The Rockstar Headphones
e.marie // Cherie Puff Earrings @ N21
(Yummy) Daisy Ring Collection @ C88
:::ChicChica::: Chic Cola opened

VINYL – Waffles Wrap Top Boho Black TSS Jan 23, 2021
Cynful Keeper Flare Pants – FLF Jan 22, 2021

05_{-Maru Kado-} Cat2_stretch (1Li)

pose: – space cadet – 2021 @ N21
MINIMAL – London Rooftop Scene

Not Anymore

I’m having quite a bit of anxiety this morning. My mother and I are supposed to go get our hair cut today, but I’m in a great deal of pain. Plus, I’m so scared of the lackadaisical attitude that so many people have about the virus. The numbers are soaring in our area right now. I honestly don’t feel that she or I would survive given our kidney disease and other health issues. Once upon a time, I would have rushed out into the world hoping to get it and die. Not anymore. I finally want to live and I’m damn sure not ready to die for a freaking hair cut. I don’t want to go and I don’t want her to go either. The only alternative is for me to cut her hair myself and…well, I can trim my own without messing it up too much. I’m just not ready for some stranger to be in my personal bubble. I don’t think I can do it.

hair:  DOUX – Dua hairstyle @ Equal10
head: GENUS Project – Genus Head – Classic Face W001 – Mocap
eyes: –SU!– [CATWA & OMEGA HUD] Astrid Eyes
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) (1.2)
skin: [theSkinnery] Isla (Genus) toffee @ C88

upper tattoo: Apocalyptic – Awakening the eye black @ Belle
lower tattoo: Apocalyptic – Butterfly creeper

BONDI . The Performer Sunglasses
.random.Matter. – Kitten Collar – ‘Kitten’
–SU!– Almond Nails
RichB. Halo Cuffs
(Yummy) Bestie Ring Set

ChicModa // Sky Top @ FaMESHed
ChicModa // Haisley Skirt @ FaMESHed

pose: Lyrium. Leni Idle Stands Breathing Poses @ Equal10

.PALETO. Backdrop:. Duxbury @ Equal10

Working Together

I don’t think I have ever had more fun putting together a decor scene. So, let me just tell you how this happened. My friend, Sassy Wumpkins, was hanging out with me on my platform as I was rezzing stuff out to blog. She started grabbing stuff and arranging it! I just laughed, but before I had time to really think about it…we were working together and well…tadaaaa!! My Sassafrass has really helped me a great deal with this scene and I’m so happy with it.

[Rezz Room] Koala Adult Animesh @ Kustom9

Mithral * A Frame Plant Hanger (Silver) @ Shiny Shabby
Mithral * Funnel Pot Plant Set @ Shiny Shabby

West Village Cotton Tote
West Village Field Wellingtons – Yellow

BUENO– Stack of Books-Strange Idea
BUENO- Books-Avoid Everything
BUENO- Books-Deep Thoughts
BUENO- Stack of Books-Deep Thoughts

:CP: Natalie Patio Jug Flowers

Concept} 04. VIENA. Pillows

Dahlia – Loulou’s Lemonade @ Uber
Dahlia – Loulou’s Lemonade – Yellow Lemonade Single Glass
Dahlia – Loulou’s Lemonade – Milk Glass – Lemons /Blue
Dahlia – Loulou’s Lemonade – Dispenser
Dahlia – Loulou’s Lemonade – Pink Lemonade Single Glass

Fancy Decor: Pressed Flowers B
Fancy Decor: Pressed Flowers
Fancy Decor: Pressed Flowers C
Fancy Decor: Pressed Flowers D

The Loft & ARIA – Riley Rug

..::THOR::.. Boho Living Gacha @ Kustom9
..::THOR::.. Pallet Seat
..::THOR::.. Privacy Fence Lg
..::THOR::.. Privacy Fence Sm
..::THOR::.. Balcony Pot
..::THOR::.. Clay Bottle 1
..::THOR::.. Clay Bottle 3
..::THOR::.. Caladium
..::THOR::.. Metal Leaf
..::THOR::.. Cotton Mat
..::THOR::.. Cage Firepit
..::THOR::.. Cute Plant
..::THOR::.. Pallet Unit
..::THOR::.. Clay Bottle 2
..::THOR::.. Pitcher
..::THOR::.. DIY Plant Stand
..::THOR::.. Tray Table
..::THOR::.. Plate of Tangerines
..::THOR::.. Industrial Coffee Table
..::THOR::.. Pallet Lounge ULTRARARE
..::THOR::.. Ficus
..::THOR::.. Pallet Pouf Ocre RARE

..::THOR::.. Boho Cushion
..::THOR::.. Padded Pillow Coral
..::THOR::.. Padded Pillow Cyan
..::THOR::.. Agave
..::THOR::.. Poppies & Branches
..::THOR::.. Garden Tools
..::THOR::.. Padded Pillow Charcoal
..::THOR::.. Antique Book 1
..::THOR::.. Banana Tree
..::THOR::.. Canvas Cushion
..::THOR::.. Pot of Grass
..::THOR::.. Antique Book
..::THOR::.. Genoa Branches Centerpiece
..::THOR::.. Camera

{vespertine} – fresh orange juice

BONDI . Loulou’s Lemonade . Vintage Cart @ Uber

TA Ultimate Speaker Set @ Uber

They Add Life

I’ve been looking at this picture for days wondering what I will write about, but every time I look at it, all I can think about is how it reminds me of my childhood. My mother always had plants everywhere. She still does. She plants flowers outside our condo and all the neighbors know our place as the one with all the pretty flowers. When she passes, they will all know it, because all those flowers will dissipate into weeds. I do not have her green thumb, not even close. If anything, I have what’s called a black thumb. I can kill a plant without even trying. No matter what the decor (and it was always changing) there were lots of plants. She says they add life to a room. I suppose that’s why my bedroom looks like the land of the dead. *laughs* That’s MamaSady for you, usually right about the big things, even in Second Life, plants really do add life to a room.

dust bunny . fiddle leaf tree
dust bunny . giant palm plant
dust bunny . spotted begonia
dust bunny . pilea peper plant
dust bunny . potted cheese plant
dust bunny . elephant ear plant
dust bunny . potted rubber tree
dust bunny . pink medinilla plant
dust bunny . areca palm plant
dust bunny . hinged vase flowers . circle . gold
dust bunny . hanging plants . spider planter
dust bunny . hanging plants . ivy planter
dust bunny . potted dragon tree

Elm. Lorhen Console Table [Walnut]

Fancy Decor: Denes Martini
Fancy Decor: Denes Drinks Table
Fancy Decor: Bradley Sculpture
Fancy Decor: Fulton Sofa (white cotton)
Fancy Decor: Capo Magazine Stack A
Fancy Decor: Capo Wire Sculpture
Fancy Decor: Wooden Box (painted lid)
Fancy Decor: Capo Magazine Stack B
Fancy Decor: Faline Coffee Table (gold & white)
Fancy Decor: Ruben Potted Plant

hive // macrame hanging plant . stone

KraftWork Sorrento by Jack Hanby Macrame Rug

[ARIA] Lydia decorative book pile

The Loft – Andreas Gold Tree
The Loft & Aria – Hourglass Brass
Loft & Aria – Aster Planter
Loft & Aria – Sterling Artwork @ Uber
Loft & Aria – Sterling Vase @ Uber

uk – Autumn’s Hall Decorative Screen

Refuge – Livy Chair Light Blue

SR Spiral White Pine Bonsai @ The Liaison Collaborative

BONDI . Vintage TV Bar Movies Tribute

To love

You promised the world and I fell for it
I put you first and you adored it
Set fires to my forest
And you let it burn…..

…..And now the chapter is closed and done
To love, love, yeah
To love, love, yeah
To love, yeah
And now it’s goodbye, it’s goodbye for us
~ Selena Gomez – Lose You to Love Me

Normally, I don’t write anything in addition to song lyrics, but occasionally a song comes along that hits you so hard in the feels. I didn’t copy the full lyrics, because this is one of those songs that you can clearly understand every word when listening to it.  Most of my friends know how much I adore Selena Gomez, but I’ve never had any special connection to her music. But this song…wow. It just shows how we so often lose ourselves in a relationship…without even realizing it.
With every word, I feel like she crawled into my head…my heart…my soul and captured the very spirit of what I’ve been feeling these last few months regarding the end of my marriage in real life. I can honestly say that I’ve never grieved a relationship the way I’ve grieved this one and I hope I never do again. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with and if you know me, or read my blog regularly…well, you know it just doesn’t seem like the type of thing that would destroy me. I didn’t think so either.
I’m coming out of the other side now…and I am finally finding myself again…after all these years. I’m not playing victim or pointing fingers. I’m dealing with my life the best way I can right now. That’s more than I can say I was doing a year ago. I am finally able to love me again.

Goodbye, Paul.

 

hair: Tableau vivant // Holly hair @ Tannenbaum
head: Genus Head – Baby Face
–SU!– Face Piercing Set 01
skin:  — PUMEC KATE – #10   @ Kustom9
lipstick: alaskametro<3 “Holly” lipstick @ Uber
Tattoo “Kali Durga”_by GoK

BONDI . Toy Soldier Cap @ Tannenbaum
[CX] Painful Silence
Cynful Fuzzy Cardigan (recently updated to fit Legacy)
[Cynful] Stripper Body Dust
Cynful Pixie Dust
NANIKA – Claudia Garter Black Maitreya

Exposeur – Padded Room (Clean)
***includes poses***

Ghost Stories

Is there anyone that isn’t haunted…by the ones we’ve loved and the ones we’ve lost? By the choices we’ve made…in a sense one could say that our entire lives are made up of one ghost story after another. Turning the page and letting go is one the hardest decisions that most of us will have to face, but we cannot let ourselves get stuck on the same page, reading the same paragraph over and over. We have to comprehend what is really happening and move forward.

hair: DOUX – Santana @ TresChic
head: CATWA HEAD Catya v4.0
skin: [Glam Affair] Maria Applier [ Catwa ]
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) (1.1)

BONDI . The Diva Choker @ Black Fair
Addams // Piper Button-Front Sweater
Addams // Piper Leather Pants
Addams // Piper Heeled Boots

pose in chair
location: Author’s Point

Its going to shock you

I know its going to shock you, but I love to mess with my friends. For instance, one of my favorite things to do is to tease my friend Grace. Her father felt compelled to tell her about how much sex he used to have with her mother. She was mortified, but I was thoroughly amused. Thus, I proceeded to tell her how he probably bent her mom over the kitchen table…pushed her against the shower wall….*grins*…You get the idea. I’ve been a bit of a prankster since I was a kid. I try to be careful and not prank people I don’t know fairly well. I prefer to have a general idea of how well the joke will be reciprocated. I’ve pulled some real doozies on my mother over the years, but as she gets older…I try to be more careful. I still get the random BOO in, but she always yells at me. *laughs*
My pranks are innocent in comparison to some of the shit I see on youtube. Let a bitch smash my xbox and we’re going to fight. That’s going to be the end of that relationship, right there! Let a man put dog shit in my sandwich…nuh huh, I’m going to prison, cuz he’s about to DIE! If you’re wondering why I’m talking about this, its mostly cuz I know Grace reads my blog and she’s going to cringe as the visuals of her parents naked, bumping uglies all over the very house she lives in now….yeah, you’re welcome. Oh btw, your parents did the nasty, too. *laughs* You’re welcome.

hair: Tableau Vivant // Mariposa hair @ Collabor88
BONDI . The Bandit Glasses @ Cosmopolitan
head: CATWA HEAD Catya v3.2
eyes: -SU!- Osanna Eyes
skin: [Glam Affair] Maria Applier
tattoo: IDTTY Body Shop – Feline Gaze
Ascendant – Taffy Nails @ Access
Cynful For the Crew Top

FOXCITY. Oki Doki Bento Pose Set

Secrets

No one likes to be lied to or betrayed. However, there are those that thrive on doing just that to other people. And then there are those that are just careless. The problem isn’t really intent as much as it is actions. We’re all guilty of telling something we shouldn’t have or for accidentally letting something slip. It really sucks when we’re betrayed like that, but so goes life. We can stay mad about it or we can learn from it. Yes, it sucks to realize that you can’t trust someone with a secret anymore, but that’s no reason to throw a friendship away. It just means we need to watch what we say more carefully. Odds are, if it was that big of a secret…we probably shouldn’t have been talking about it in the first place. Afterall, two can keep a secret if one of us is dead.

head: Catwa Catya
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [Glam Affair] Maria

Wasabi // Venere Mesh Hair @ Hair Fair
BONDI . The Autumn Sunglasses @ Whimsical
_CandyDoll_ Darby Lingerie @ Belle

pose made with AnyPose

No Manners

Sometimes people simply bewilder me. We all get approached by some pretty odd people in Second Life. Ask anyone, we all have stories. I can’t help but tilt my head to the side like a confused puppy and look at my screen sometimes. Just the other day, I had someone send me a message offering their arm as a snack, because once upon a time my profile suggested that I bite. Naturally, I had no idea what he was talking about and it all went downhill from there.

Did he actually accuse me of having no manners after he called me a name? I have no manners because I did not respond they way he hoped. I have no manners, because my sexy photos are clearly an invitation for men to say whatever they want to me. I have no manners, because I don’t jump at the opportunity to talk to some strange man on the internet. I have no manners, because I doubt the sincerity of someone that couldn’t start his first conversation with me like an adult.

I think he needs a dictionary, because if he knew what manners were and had any himself…well, he wouldn’t have approached me as he did. Nor would he have thrown a tantrum when he didn’t get his way. I’m curious if his ridiculous approach works on other women and who taught him this crap?

head: GENUS Project – Baby Face
–SU!– Piercing Set 01
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: ItGirls – Luccia @ Uber

DOUX – Mineko hairstyle @ Level
BONDI . The Hunter Glasses @ Cosmopolitan
Prada Beauty – Nudes Cremosinho Lipstick  @ Level
Ascendant – Seductress Nails and Dermal Gems @ Kinky
AsteroidBox. Selene Shirt @ Anthem
Blueberry – Taylor Set – Shorts & Belts
_CandyDoll_ Alegai Heels @ Uber

pose: FOXCITY. Show Time Bento Pose Set

trees & rock from HPMD

We all have blind spots

We all know some one that only hears what they want to hear, sees what they want to see. I believe that’s more prevalent in Second Life than anywhere else. Like orange juice concentrate, the misplaced loyalties on the grid run rampant. People being “loyal” to false friends, closing their eyes to the truth and choosing to turn their eyes elsewhere. I’m not quite sure what people are afraid of, but feeding someone’s ego with lies is not doing anyone any favors. The thing is that when we lie to those that are supposedly close to us, we lie to ourselves, as well. We have to ask ourselves if that’s what we would want if it was us on the other side of the blindness…the deafness. By turning the blind eye, the deaf ear…are we doing them a favor? Or are we so afraid of the truth that the lie is more comforting? What are our motives for such a level of dishonesty, especially if we really are completely aware of the truth?

So, I’m back to writing and the ramblings of my mind are bound to be weirder than ever, but I’ve decided to restrict myself less. A new friend reminded me that I started this blog as an outlet for me. Sure, I absolutely love showing off my favorite designers and will always do that, but the words? I can’t censor myself and get therapeutic value from it, now can I? *laughs* Consider this your warning….lol.

Basics:
head: CATWA HEAD Catya
–SU!– Piercing Set 06
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [Glam Affair] Maria @ Kustom9

hair: Navy+Copper – Genna
BONDI . The Peacemaker Headphones @ FeverFete
Addams // Zury Crochet Holes Top
Addams // Caroline Knot Rope Bikini
[BREATHE]-Midori Heels

pose: FOXCITY. Soulfood Bento Pose Set

scene:
SAYO – Lena Corner Collection
-SAYO – Lena Corner Collection – Lounger
-SAYO – Lena Corner Collection – Floor Lamp
-SAYO – Lena Corner Collection – Floor Canvas
-SAYO – Lena Corner Collection – Succulent Cluster

Elm. Nia Nightstand [Cotton]
Elm. Nia Frame Small [Gold]
Elm. Nia Frame Large [Silver]
Elm. Nia Books [Blue]

MudHoney Olwen Laptop
MudHoney Books – Food & Happiness
MudHoney Trophy Bowl
MudHoney Metal Stick Decor
MudHoney Trophy Bowl
MudHoney Liza Adult Toy Box
MudHoney Liza Heels – Nude
MudHoney Olwen Movies
MudHoney Liza Heels – Black
MudHoney Liza Bra
MudHoney Liza Panties