Bicycle

I hate riding bicycles. Who decided that seat was a good idea? That thing presses against my snatch and pushes my panties up my ass. It sucks and I refuse to do it. However, I can’t help but hear this one song whenever I see a bicycle. *giggles* I just put the link at the bottom of the page.

Bicycle

wearing:
hair:  pr!tty – SaRang  (February PocketGacha)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery]  Saska (Catwa Applier) honey
(Kunglers) Miele necklace
_CandyDoll_ Nina Top (*new* Mainstore)
_CandyDoll_ Nina Pants (*new* Mainstore)
_CandyDoll_Lucy Wedges

pose: FOXCITY. Bike Ride Bento Pose Set (comes with bike)

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Generic Post

The latest round of Uber is too fun. There’s a theme this month and its MOD. Oh my goodness, so many cute things. So, I’m sharing three with you today. We’ve got the Lamb hair that comes in two sizes, just in case you got a fat head. *giggles* The style hud offers three styles and each is as cute as the next. Then you’ve got the Bueno Grace top, I just don’t know how anyone could just settle on one. With just a peek of under boob, its sexy enough to make you feel sassy, but nothing is revealed, so you can wear it anywhere. Fortunately for me, I was able to match this up with the new Fina skirt from LYBRA that’s over at ULTRA. The asymmetrical hemline and zipper, made it too obvious to pair with the top. At least to me, the pose I’m using is actually in this Bird Nest Hideout from Consignment that I have set up on my patio. That Hideout was FaMESHed in February, so you’ll have to wait for it to find its way to the main store.

one of those days

wearing:
hair:  Lamb. Potion  (*new* @ Uber)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery]  Saska (Catwa Applier) honey
BUENO– Grace Top (*new* @ Uber)
LYBRA.  Fina (*new* @ Ultra)

[Con.] Bird Nest Hideout (Feb FaMESHed)

Numbness

“I felt deeply tricked. Stunned. And furious. I also felt my default emotion: numbness.”
― Augusten BurroughsRunning with Scissors

I relate to this quote so much. Having suffered at the hand of monsters more than once, I know this numbness well. I honestly believe its a defense mechanism. Its as if the emotion is too much and my body throws up a shield of numbness to protect me from the pain. I’m actually grateful for it, but I also have a tendency to depend on it a bit too much.
I remember a few years ago, I was going through one of the hardest times in my adult life. The numbness didn’t come. I had to create it, but taking far more xanax than any doctor would prescribe. I’m not addicted, its not like that, but when you depend on a numbness to keep yourself from literally slitting your wrists…well, you do what you’ve got to do. Even now, I get more xanax than I need from my doctor so that I have extra….just in case.
I recently found out that I was betrayed by someone I loved….shocking. I was so angry. I was so hurt. I wanted to lash out. I wanted to destroy him. I wanted to destroy everything he loved. I didn’t do anything, but cry to a few friends and eventually use my xanax to numb myself. When the xanax kicks in, I feels so much better…calmer as if floating in water without a care in the world. It’s a temporary fix, but sometimes its the calmness I need to process what has actually happened to me.

floating away

wearing:
*LODE* Head Accessory – Juliet [peach]
hair: Exile – Wildfire
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery] Saska (Catwa Applier) honey
LYBRA . LELANI

pose: Purple Poses Trish Set

Mansion (DRD SHADOW BOX)

If you’ve subscribed to the DRD Shadow Box from the beginning, you received your final box from Series One earlier this month and your mansions by now. Two versions of each! Two light, two dark, each with a furnished option and a unfurnished option.
For more information about the Shadow Boxes, I urge you to check out their website:
http://www.deathrowdesigns.net

DRD Dining room

Each house has two bedrooms and a bathroom upstairs. On the first floor is the kitchen (pictured below), the dining room (pictured above), and a living room. It would truly take a video to fully explore this house for you, but believe me when I tell you that both houses are absolutely stunning. The team at Death Row Designs has truly outdone themselves. Below the kitchen view you’ll discover a view of the house itself. I’ve obviously taken a liking to the dark version, especially since I fell in love with the song attached.

Mansion

To see more of my blog posts about the Shadowbox Series click one of the links below:
DRD – Shadow Box – Series 01 – SEP 2017 – LIGHT
DRD – Shadow Box – Series 01 – OCT 2017 – LIGHT
DRD – Shadow Box – Series 01 – NOV 2017 – DARK
DRD – Shadow Box – Series 01 – DEC 2017 – LIGHT
DRD – Shadow Box – Series 01 – JAN 2018 – LIGHT

THE mansion

Everthing you see in these pictures is from DRD, except the sky…lol, but if they made one, I know it would be gorgeous!!♥

Will This Phase Ever End?

I’m so far behind and as I’ve mentioned before, some of my posts get rejected from time to time. So, brace yourself for songs and quotes in the upcoming week as I play catch up.

Nothing More – Jenny

A little sleep, a little slumber
A little folding of the hands
Left you weak, left you hungry
When there’s supply you still demand
You’re beginning to drag the ones you love down
Will this phase ever end?
A thousand arms to hold you
But you won’t reach for any hands
‘Cause I don’t feel like I’m getting through to you
Let me paint this clear, life is short, my dear
See your mother here, her last painful year
I wish you only knew
She stuck around for you
Maybe you should just fall
Leave the world and lose it all
And if that’s what you need
To finally see
I’ll be with you through it all
Bring on the pills, roll that dollar bill
Medicating will never heal
Relapse, rehab, repeat
Always thinking about the me, me, me
Self-destruct, spiral down
Until your want becomes your need
Please get up like I know you can
Or forever love the fall
‘Cause I don’t feel like I’m getting through to you
Let me paint this clear, life is short, my dear
See your mother here, her last painful year
I wish you only knew
She stuck around for you
Maybe you should just fall
Leave the world and lose it all
And if that’s what you need
To finally see
I’ll be with you through it all
I can’t stand to see you down
Strung out, off the wagon, and unwound
Steady, steady, Oh God, Jenny
I can’t bear to hear the sound
Of your body hitting the ground
Oh Jenny Jenny Jenny
Stuck around for you
He stuck around for you
Stuck around for you
Maybe you should just fall
Leave the world and lose it all
And if that’s what you need
To finally see
She loved you through it all
Maybe you should just fall
And if that’s what you need
To finally see
She loved you through it all
I’ll be with you through it all!

I have a story to tell
wearing:
hair:  TRUTH VIP February – Carla
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery] Saska (Catwa Applier) honey
ChicModa // Cami (*new* @ TresChic)
The Annex – Tessa Thigh Highs (*new* @ Enchantment)

pose: GingerFish Poses – Bad at Love

Exposed

I’m watching this documentary about a girl in Austria that was kidnapped by her father in 1984 and was held captive in the basement for 24 years. He raped and abused her. She gave birth to seven children and none of them had ever left the basement. Of course, upon discovery of all this, the media poured into this little town. His life and his entire family’s life is put under a microscope…exposing every skeleton in all of their closets. They discover that the father had a terrible childhood, but has become even more of a monster than his mother ever way.
This man was so determined in his plan that he essentially built and entire house underneath his real house. I remember as a kid, hearing the horror stories of my father’s childhood and thinking what a monster my grandmother was. Over the years, I grew to suspect that my own father was a serial killer. I’m sure it was just an overactive imagination, but until he dies it would not surprise me to find out that my father committed heinous crimes.
This story, though, is insane. He supposedly raped his daughter over 3000 times over the years. All of her children were delivered in the basement….alone. Her captive gave her a clean towel and a pair of scissors, nothing else. The craziest part of this all is that he had seven other children and a wife living the house above the captive apartment in the ground. They were all completely oblivious to what was going on right under their feet. There’s so much more to the story and if you’re interested the name of the show is Real Crime Chronicles on Amazon Prime. I’m just so saddened that this world is so mad and so many lives are left forever exposed as little more than a show for people like me to watch.
A good friend of mine recently said that he was beginning to lose all hope for humanity. He said this because of how people treat each other in SL, but the truth of the matter is….the entire world is mad and while I refuse to give up on humanity as a whole, I can certainly understand those that do.

exposed

wearing:
hair:  MINA – Mabel (*new* @ Uber)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery] Saska (Catwa Applier) honey
_CandyDoll_ Layla Dress (*new* @ C88)
_CandyDoll_ Layla Boots (*new* @ C88)

pose: GingerFish Poses – Cinema Verite
anxiety %24/7

Only Love

You can find a link to the song at the bottom of the page. I’m still playing catch up from when I had the flu, so just hang in there with me. Not all of my posts can be as entertaining as one that awaits around the corner.

Only Love Can Hurt Like This – Paloma Faith

I tell myself you don’t mean a thing,
And what we got, got no hold on me
But when you’re not there I just crumble
I tell myself I don’t care that much,
But I feel like I die ’til I feel your touch,

Only love, only love can hurt like this,
Only love can hurt like this
Must have been a deadly kiss
Only love can hurt like this

Say I wouldn’t care if you walked away,
But every time you’re there I’m begging you to stay,
When you come close I just tremble
And every time, every time you go,
It’s like a knife that cuts right through my soul

Only love, only love can hurt like this
Only love can hurt like this,
Must have been a deadly kiss,
Only love can hurt like this,
Only love can hurt like this

Your kisses burn into my skin,
Only love can hurt like this
But it’s the sweetest pain,
Burning hot through my veins,
Love is torture makes me more sure
Only love can hurt like this

Only love can hurt like this,
Only love can hurt like this,
Must have been a deadly kiss,
Only love can hurt like this,

Only love can hurt like this,
Your kisses burn into my skin,
Only love can hurt like this,
Only love can hurt like this,
Save me, save me,
Only love, only love,
‘Cause only love can hurt like this
And it must have been a deadly kiss

once upon a grid

wearing:
hair:  Doe: Crinkle Fries
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery] Saska (Catwa Applier) honey
Astralia – Scorpion rings (*new* @ N21)
UC Doom_top
UC Doom_shorts (FaMESHed until the 27th)

pose: GingerFish Poses – Bad at Love set

 

I Need Noise

So, if there’s one thing I hate in life…its a fucking liar. I understand that we all tell white lies…”You look great!”…”No, those pants don’t make your ass look huge.”…”Sure, I’d love to help you clean the house.” I’m not talking about that little shit. I’m talking about the big shit. Naturally, I’ve talked about how if someone lies about the little stuff, they’re bound to lie about the big stuff. The real rub is when you find out the truth. If you’re going to tell a big ass lie…then lie til you die, muthafucka! Cuz I’ve had enough lies to last me a fucking lifetime and I don’t need anymore. So, if you’re one of those perpetual liars that doesn’t “mean” to lie or things tend to “just happen” to you frequently….then not only are you lying to those around you…you’re lying to yourself. So, take your lies and shove them up your ass….oh and do it way the fuck over there, cuz I’m not having it. Trust issues? Nah, I don’t have trust issues. I’ve just finally figured out that trust is as big a lie as love.
When I realize that I’ve been lied to by someone I thought I could trust? Wow, yeah, I need noise, because if I crawl too deep into my head with the ammunition, my demons are going to have a field day. Don’t worry, I won’t believe anything anyone tells me for a long while to come….so once I get through this shit, I won’t worry about being lied to, cuz I’ve finally seen the light.

bitch in chains
I don’t have an agenda
All I do is pretend to be ok so my friends
Can’t see my heart in the blender
Lately, I’ve been killing all my time
Reading through your messages my favorite way to die
Take my head and kick it in
Break some bread for all my sins
Say a word, do it soon
It’s too quiet in this room
I need noise
I need the buzz of a sub
Need the crack of a whip
Need some blood in the cut
I need noise
I need the buzz of a sub
Need the crack of a whip
Need some blood in the cut
I need blood in the cut
I need blood in the cut

wearing:
hair:  DOUX – Kimiko (*new* @ Tres Chic)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery] Saska (Catwa Applier) honey (*new* @ REWIND)
lipstick: –SU!– Jezebel Lip Gloss
tattoo: [ATI] Helen…
11. :BAMSE: Personal Choker – Bitch (*new* @ Whimsical)
_CandyDoll_ Nina Top (*new* Mainstore)
_CandyDoll_ Nina Pants (*new* Mainstore)

pose: FOXCITY. Lolita Bento Pose Set

scene:
uK – With These Chains Photobox
E.V.E {Chained to You} Chains Silver (T)

Y2K

OH that silly Y2K. For those of us that were adults for the rollover from 1999 to 2000, it was quite a mess. People honestly thought the world was going to end. I have to wonder did they have the same concerns as 999 rolled into 1000? or even 1899 to 1900? I seriously doubt it, then again…once upon a time people thought the world was flat. I remember thinking this was going to be the most epic NYE ever. We even arranged for some X, but we were one tab short and drew straws to see who was going to be the designated driver. Son of a bitch at my luck, because this was the one NYE that I was looking forward to the most. Afterall, Prince had gotten me all psyched up about ages ago. Wanna know what I was doing as the year, the decade, the century, the millennium rolled over? I was passed out asleep on a couch bored out of my damn skull while my friends were tripping balls outside. I want a do over!!

My Y2K

wearing:
hair: .Olive. the Lizzie Hair  (*new* @ REWIND)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: Glam Affair –- MaryJane
* Cute Y2K Computer * Blue Mouthie (*new* @ REWIND)
[89Hz] – Jude Y2K Knit Gray (*new* @ REWIND)
ChicModa // Veronica (*new* @ Whimsical)

pose: FOXCITY. Formal VOL1 Bento Set

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