I’ve written before about how much I love bikinis in Second Life and one of the reasons is because you wouldn’t catch me dead in one in Real Life! *laughs* I’ll hardly put on a swimsuit at all these days. The last time I went swimming in RL I was stoned and in a friend’s backyard. Why? Because I’m ashamed of my body. I hate it. I am overweight and I have a lot of scars. All it took was one summer at the pool for me to overhear some women laughing and going on about how my fat, pale ass shouldn’t be allowed at the pool. I stayed in the water just kinda hiding in a corner of the pool until they left. I suffered a horrible sunburn, but I didn’t want to hear their ugly remarks again when I got out and I wasn’t going to let them see me cry.
I realize I shouldn’t let people have such power over me, but let it happen to you and let’s see how well you handle it. Good for you if you can handle it better than I did. I envy those that are not bothered by such things. So, in SL I choose to look how I wish I did in RL. Yes, I’d love to be fit…a little thick, I don’t want to be model thin and I’ve got more than enough fat to deal with in RL. Sadly, the fact that we can look however we want in SL, yet still people want to shame each other for how they CHOOSE to look. No one in SL just happens to look that way. No one’s avi is suffering from an eating disorder. The way our avatars look is purely our choice.
I admit that I’ve seen some avatars and just shook my head. I don’t get it. I don’t understand why people choose to look a certain way and yes, perhaps a few comments in IMs with friends, but certainly never anything out loud and to their face. I think that is incomprehensible. Its bullying at its finest. Body shaming in either world is terrible. Its one thing to laugh among your friends at the girl whose butt looks like it at Tokyo or the guy whose eyes are so far apart he looks like an alien, but its entirely different to go up to them and accuse them of mental illness, being sick, or any other degrading remark that makes you feel that your choices are better than theirs. Its actually wrong for us to even make little remarks in IMs, but we are human and its going to happen. You can do it tactfully with your friends quietly or you can keep your mouth shut entirely, but to call someone out for the choices they make about their avatar’s appearance is flat out wrong. Its no different from any other type of hate speech. Its bullying. Period. I cannot stress that enough.
We come here to live a life we can’t live in the real world, at least most of us do. Luckily there are incredible designers to assist us in looking our best, as well. Unlike the real world, where often times the plus size department looks more like someone threw out Grandma’s curtain collection. So, when you find yourself thinking, “WTF?” as you see an avatar that bewilders you, please for the love of humanity, do not approach that person with hatred. If you’ve got nothing nice to say to them, say nothing. Do NOT bully or body shame one another in a virtual world. Don’t Do It! Just Don’t! Think how you’d feel if someone said such things to you or someone you love. Please be kind to one another. There is far too much hate in this world already.
hair: Exile: Fake Magic
head: CATWA HEAD Kathy
skin: Glam Affair – Molly – Catwa Mesh Head Applier – America (*new* @ Arcade)
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
Cynful Heat Bikini (June Luxe Box)