I’ve Lost My Mind

“One person’s craziness is another person’s reality.”
Tim Burton

It’s funny how one friend will justify, validate, and support whatever madness I manage to get myself caught up in. Yet, another will throw up their hands and walk away, completely done with my antics, and simply sick to death of my madness. I’m not talking about whether or not this is fair, not even about what I may or may not have endured with those same friends. I’m not even bothered by the difference, to be honest. We all have our thresholds for madness.
Most days I am blessed with enough friends to cover all of my crazy bases, but what do I do when you find myself alone? Completely alone with my own mad thoughts. Completely alone with my consequences…my guilt…my pain…my confusion…my insanity. Completely alone with the bitter, ugly truth that I’ve lost my mind.

lostmymind_001

The truth is, that most of the time, I try to distract myself. I try not to think about it so much. However, there are some things I simply cannot escape. There are ghosts and guilt that haunt me always. The ‘what ifs’ and the ‘if onlies’….these are my demons and they are with me at every turn. These are the demons that torment me and abuse me, day in and day out. Reminding me that I don’t deserve a better life. I look at my empty hands and I know that they are full of karma.
Then suuddenly and surprisingly, something shiny will catch my eye. It could be simply a creative idea or a physical (or even virtual) object. Occasionally, its even another human being reaching out to me unexpectedly. The lights come on and that dark corner that I’ve been huddled in, seems like nothing more than a good place to put a houseplant or maybe the dog’s bed…or maybe that new table I got the other day. It’s a good place to leave those dark thoughts. As I embrace the light and head off on another adventure. Sounds simple enough, but just sometimes that shiny object, idea, person…it leads me to more trouble and fuels my demons.
I’m quite sure I lost my mind around age eleven. I thought I found it a few times over the years, but the damn thing keeps getting away from me. I’m sure there’s some healthy logic in it somewhere, so if you see it…maybe you can catch the slippery sucker and return it to me. In the meantime, I’m going to look for it at some shopping events, because I’m pretty sure the last time I saw it…I was shopping! ❤

 

hair: MINA – Sylvia (*new* @The  Gacha Garden)
CATWA HEAD Dyana
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
S&P bracelets Jolie
Prodigy Ink–7P-Paradise Tattoo
Elegance Boutique -Tunic & Harness  “Zara” (*new* @ Mesh Body Addicts)
N-core CHANTEL (*new* @ Mesh Body Addicts)

background: RAMA – #selfie_RAMA Wood Zone (*new* @The  Gacha Garden)
pose by Glamrus

 

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